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The Raccoons: Life in the Fast Lane! (1988)
Season 3, Episode 4
6/10
Routine entry
14 February 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Bert does something reckless, like in 'Double Play' and 'The Chips Are Down', he falls out with Cedric and they get back together again once Bert's true kind nature shines through. He never made sure that Bix fixed Cyril's boat, and that's my biggest gripe with it. Bert gets pushed around in this episode a lot, the poor reckless fool. But the episode does show that when he gets pushed too far, he will get angry and chew out those responsible.
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Wander Over Yonder: The End of the Galaxy (2016)
Season 2, Episode 22
10/10
An ending that leaves hope open
12 February 2020
I thought what they did was Lord Dominator was realistic. Wander offers her redemption and she rejects it. Lord Hater still hates him. Well, love/hates him. He still tries to destroy him, but after being forced to work together a couple of times, there is hope for redemption for him, or something beyond the sado-masochistic bromance they have (in that Hater is the sadist and Wander is the masochist). It's totally within Wander's principles: he offers happiness and leaves you to choose how you feel. That's what makes this a perfect ending.
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8/10
For the Birds
11 February 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Brea's storyline was the most compelling. There's an overly long eating scene, just like in the film, and if you don't like eating scenes it's worth skipping. However, it does show how much Emperor skekSo is affected by the Darkening. Speaking of whom, skekSo acts like one of those climate change deniers, or a chairperson of Bayer-Monsanto, and denies the Darkening's existence to skekTek, who despite not caring about the creatures of Thra also warns of the dangers of using the Crystal to draw essence too much. Honestly, while skekTek is far from innocent, he was basically blackmailed into what follows two episodes later and becomes just as high on power as the rest of them. The scene between Aughra and urVa- our first Mystic in the series- was great. And skekSil summoning the Hunter (voiced by Ralph Ineson and performed by Kevin Clash) is a beautiful shot.
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The Raccoons: The Sky's the Limit! (1989)
Season 4, Episode 2
8/10
Wreck-it Ralph
10 February 2020
Call-backs to 'Blast from the Past!' and some incredibly funny lines.
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The Raccoons: The Chips Are Down! (1988)
Season 3, Episode 3
7/10
Obsession!
29 January 2020
I wasn't expecting much of 'The Chips Are Down'. After all, the plot is very formulaic. Bert becomes obsessed with winning a bike while getting suckered into another of Cyril's schemes. On paper it sounds banal, but in fact the episode was hilarious. The odd flavors of Cyril's potato chips and Ralph's reaction to eating them really cracked me up. Not to mention Bert's increasing obsession with buying the potato chips driving him into a stupor. Len Carlson gives Bert's desperation a universal appeal, so to speak. One key scene in the episode is Bert's dream, which has some very fluid animation moments in it, including one beautiful moment animated by Rose Biviens. The ending is really sweet.
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The Raccoons: Paperback Hero! (1988)
Season 3, Episode 2
6/10
Swamp and Circumstance
28 January 2020
A frog who can't swim is hilarious irony. I'm even more shocked that Cyril would give any money away, even though of course there's a catch in his contract. The premise is a bit like the bit with the barge captain in the 'Disenchantment' episode "Our Bodies, Our Elves", only this time the liar wrote the books. Looks like the Order of the British Empire doesn't keep tabs on its knights here. Bert is really tenacious. Every time he seems to become obnoxious, he says something sweet or does something awesome. The series shows again and again that even though he's an idiot, he's also a really quick thinker when the situation calls for it. The episode is itself rather middling, if not as much as the last one. 'Trouble Shooter!' is the best one of the season. Besides, 'The Raccoons' is one of the best cartoons ever, and the best cartoon of the 1980s, so I care about this series very much.
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6/10
DJ Bert brings you a clip show
26 January 2020
Bert brings Schaeffer via rocket to a show he's DJ'ing and presents a clip show. The sound travels all the way to Sneer Mansion and Cyril tries to stop the party. In this special he's only a slight killjoy compared to the megalomaniac villain he was in the other specials. Not much to say about him. This is Len Carlson's show and he clearly has a blast. It's like he's being the DJ for the viewers as well. As much of a manchild as he can be, Bert is that guy you want as your friend. He's kind, charitable, inclusive and fun. He is the life of the party and this comes up best here.
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The Raccoons: The Prism of Zenda! (1988)
Season 3, Episode 1
5/10
A lackluster entry in the series
26 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Seems like Bert never learned from the mistakes he made in 'The Sweet Smell of Success'. He seems to have forgotten that Cyril is a lousy director and was partly responsible for an accident that almost got Bert killed. Any involvement with that aardvark is toxic and poor sweet Bertie should know that by now. I like the callback to that episode, though, with the picture of Bert singing in the bear's locker. Someone's a secret fan. Bert shows himself to be surprisingly brilliant at times, and it shows here. This episode is almost strictly Cyril-centered, and his increasing stress and frustration carries the episode. Michael Magee gives a solid comedic performance, and Cyril has great minimalistic terrified facial expressions. Still, this is a lackluster entry with a weak ending. But the upside is Cyril finally went to jail... just for the wrong reason.
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10/10
They Came from Planet Cyril
25 January 2020
AKA Lloyds in Space

This special has a cleaner style than the last two specials, and the characters look exactly how they would in the show. They look more human, for one thing. The bags under Cyril's eyes aren't so heavy, Cedric's nose is shorter and slightly wider. As Melissa, Rita Coolidge sounds like the Mother Rabbit from Disney's 'Robin Hood'. Once again, Bert, excellently voiced by Len Carlson, acts obnoxious, but does something really awesome and is at heart very sweet and mild mannered.

I think the whole thing is just Schaeffer's dream, as the focus of most of the short is on him and Sophia.

The animation is solid in parts but other times the characters look kind of off model, such as the length of Sophia's nose changing in between scenes.

The sound design is very Eighties, in a good way.

All in all, I think this is my favourite special.
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3/10
Mediocre, but with good numbers
22 January 2020
The costumes are amazing, the choreography is solid and Cliff Edwards is likeable, but the leading man is a stalker as well as a womanizer which makes him unsympathetic, intentionally or not. The color scenes, while impressive for 1930, have the quality of a 1970s infomercial. It's just okay, and it's interesting to see where "Should I?" came from.
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KILL La KILL (2013–2014)
9/10
"Hello. My name is Ryuko Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
19 January 2020
'Kill la Kill' is a riveting revenge story with plenty of plot twists, action scenes, drama scenes and everything else to keep the viewer interested. Ryuko is a compelling character (hence the 'Princess Bride' reference in the review title), the visuals are stunning, although I have a problem with a particular sort of "lampshading" (commenting on sexualization of women and girls while also perpetuating it). Still, Japan is trying to fix that.
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The Raccoons: Time Trap! (1988)
Season 2, Episode 10
8/10
Coming Around
12 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
How did Cyril know about events he wasn't there for? I've got a theory for you: Cedric and the rest talked to him while he was unconscious from the blast. Not the smartest thing but it would provoke a reaction. Like 'Courting Disaster', 'Time Trap' is very Cyril-centric. In fact, Bert has only one line that's not in a flashback. Cyril and Pig Two get a lot of funny lines, but mostly this episode is just a clip show.
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The Raccoons: Courting Disaster! (1988)
Season 2, Episode 9
10/10
To Cyr, With Love
12 January 2020
'Courting Disaster!' is the most Cyril-centric episode so far, and Michael Magee is great as always. Although his abrasiveness is still there, it's kind of shocking to see Cyril showing his soft side, even though it's only towards Cedric. The scene where he offers to help Cedric with baking is really sweet. The scene where Bert and Cedric talk about the alleged engagement is really nice, too, and Len Carlson and Marvin Goldhar turn in excellent performances.
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Green Eggs and Ham: Anywhere (2019)
Season 1, Episode 13
8/10
That Sam I-Am
10 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
He was willing to turn himself in for his crime, and he did do the right thing, but he never apologized to Guy for making him a patsy in his scheme. Guy was innocent but he committed a few felonies without even knowing it, and he gets away with all of it as well, including resisting arrest, despite his innocence. The resisting arrest part, though, was due to his realization that Sam was finally doing the right thing. Other than that, it had a really cool action sequence, and holy Shvizleton, Guy can be a real badass. The big moment where Guy finally tries the green egg (but not the ham for some reason) is done really well. Lots of dramatic pauses. They put a lot of effort into this show and I appreciate it. The dish looks really gross, but, as EB said, they're surprisingly good. The fact that Guy did it to show how much Sam means to him is super heartwarming. It also addresses the problem I had with the 'SpongeBob' episode 'Just One Bite' (Like the guy in Dr. Seuss GE&H, Squidward was peer pressured into eating the Krabby Patty). Also, I'm going to take a guess and say that Sam has really hyper-sensitive taste buds.
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Green Eggs and Ham: There (2019)
Season 1, Episode 12
10/10
Scam I-Am
8 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Also known as "A Government Band Around Each Hand".

"Plot twists for days! Binge-worthy" Oy gevalt. When Sam made that fourth-wall joke, he meant it. Speaking of Sam, he's a con artist. We don't know if his name is actually Sam. We don't know when he is or isn't lying. That Sam I-Am! That Sam I-Am! It was awesome when Guy delivered the full rhyme in a viscerally angry rant. Michael Douglas does pretty well for someone who has only ever voice acted twice before in his life (and survived oral cancer). Adam Devine is an amazing voice actor and he captures Sam's many sides perfectly. Sam is genuinely kind and genuinely shifty. He's no one thing but all of them at once. The subplot with Michellee and EB makes the episode a little uneven, but it builds up to a powerful ending.
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Green Eggs and Ham: Boat (2019)
Season 1, Episode 11
8/10
Mrs. Am-I, You've Got a Lovely Son
8 January 2020
Sam has a lot on his mind and is torn up about making the right decision. Guy has one more chance with Michellee and the BADGUYS' true nature is finally revealed so "no worries". The animation and art is beautiful as always. Michael Douglas, Adam Devine and everyone else are on top form. I wish the BADGUYS could have explained themselves properly when they first arrived at the Am-I residence. As I said in my review of 'Train', EB is a driving force behind Sam's development. In this episode, she's the driving force behind his redemption, too. The highlight of this episode is that Guy almost tries the green eggs and ham, showing how close he and Sam are as friends now. Hey, according to Netflix they are "the iconic bromance". Also, how can you not like canteloupe? I personally love it. "The garbage fruit", indeed! It turns out Guy was a former teen rebel (who definitely must have built his own motorcycle). Again, too much like the punk Who in 'Horton Hears a Who', but the fact that he had cleaned up his look places him closer to Benson Dunwoody from 'Regular Show' and Elastigirl in 'The Incredibles 2'.
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Green Eggs and Ham: House (2019)
Season 1, Episode 10
10/10
When She Loved Me
7 January 2020
I'd also considered "Family Guy" for a title.

'House' is a breather episode, but although the BADGUYS have a lead and the Goat is still alive, the episode trades action for drama. Guy is revealed to be a hero in his Salzburg-like town. He was a teen genius before he left home, and he's understandably touchy about it (and adorably shy about it). The scene in the tent is the key scene in the episode and possibly in the entire series. Adam Devine gives the best acting performance of his entire career. The scene drives home the point that sometimes, opposites attract. My only issue with this episode is that they're using the word "hangry" (if that's even a word) in the early Seventies. Usually this show doesn't try to be zeitgeisty, but at least "hangry" was plot-relevant. In any case, this feels like a misstep. Gluntz is hilarious in this episode. She's not my favourite but she has moments where I absolutely love her. I've noticed how Guy is the only major character in the series whose father we actually see. EB, Snerz and Sam's fathers are barely mentioned, let alone seen.
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Steven Universe: Say Uncle (2015)
Season 1, Episode 48
8/10
Worth a look
6 January 2020
I was not interested at first, but I ended up enjoying it. The best part are Uncle Grandpa's interactions with the Gems. Pearl channels Squidward, Amethyst gets a dizzying ecstasy from Uncle Grandpa's reality bending and Garnet calmly admits that she's ready for the episode to end. The scenes of Steven in Uncle Grandpa's Winnebago drag the pacing down but the rest of it is really worth a watch.
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Green Eggs and Ham: Goat (2019)
Season 1, Episode 9
10/10
Break her heart to save her
6 January 2020
Once again, Guy has to get rid of Michellee, even though he shows that he has a crush on her, and even though she thinks it's because he wants to get rid of her, his voice is full of regret. The truth is, there's a goat outside, under the pay of Snerz, and Sam is terrified. Another chase ensues. In every episode of the show there's an action sequence and this one is just as thrilling as the others. Guy gets to use his inventing skills as well. Maybe it's because I'm a Guy fan, but he is awesome in this episode. Also, we see McWinkle without his glasses for the first time and they're warm and kindly (a sign of the BADGUYS' true nature). Young Snerz is voiced by Rob Paulsen doing his Pinky voice, which I find very amusing.
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Green Eggs and Ham: Rain (2019)
Season 1, Episode 8
9/10
Some feminist
5 January 2020
EB convinces Michellee to let the fugitives in her house. Sam, aware of Guy's crush on Michellee, suggests Guy bond with EB to get to Michellee. Guy objects, but his love for Michellee overcomes him, even though the process seems like stalking. Some feminist he turned out to be. I knew it was too good to be true. That said, he does see EB's value, and his recognition of her talents plus his kvetching saves the day. I love his determination, but I also love how Sam looks after his own health. The animation of Guy and EB out in the rain is beautiful. The whole of the series is beautifully animated but those scenes are breathtaking. Props for the 'Romancing the Stone' reference, especially considering the fact that Guy is voiced by Michael Douglas. The biker bar reminds me too much of the running gag of the punk Who from 'Horton Hears a Who', but it's keeping with the time period (1960s, early 1970s), and the scene of the Yes Man visiting also recalls 'Perfect Strangers', 'Shrek 2' and 'The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie'. The goat is a bounty hunter voiced by John Turturro and has an impressive gravelly voice. The whole will-they-won't-they between Guy and Michellee is already getting stale, but when they're nice to each other, it's adorable. She's going to realize at some point that Guy is an innocent pawn in a corporate plot.
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Green Eggs and Ham: Mouse (2019)
Season 1, Episode 7
10/10
Blind Trust
4 January 2020
Where to begin with 'Mouse'? The singing Jean Valjean-esque mouse whom nobody can understand because neither Sam nor Guy speak his language? Gluntz complimenting McWinkle's "salt-and-blueberry look"? The "wrong side of the tracks" experiment? It is a hilarious episode. I love how Sam is really touchy-feely with Guy. It also has a heartbreaking moment which shows that despite all Sam has done, he just wants to have friends.
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The Raccoons on Ice (1981 TV Movie)
7/10
Not as original as 'The Christmas Raccoons' but still good.
3 January 2020
This special introduces Sophia, Cedric's girlfriend. She's a tall, elegant aardvark girl who ice skates (and later proves to be quite the athlete, nearly beating Cyril in the competition) She looks good in some shots but in others her arms are too short. It's a formulaic sports episode. The episode 'Stop the Clock' had a better twist on the ending but the voice acting is great in this special. Bert gives a rousing motivational speech and it is one of Len Carlson's best performances. Also, why does Melissa keep changing voice actors? It's very disorienting. Fred Little once again voices Cedric and I've noticed Cedric is much more different than he is in the actual series. In this special he's almost a pushover, but in the series, though he's still quiet and unassuming, he has a strong sense of integrity and self-respect. Maybe all that time with Sophia changed him. Also, Bert is shown to be quite lazy, yet later in 'A Night to Remember' he does a backflip, which means either the hockey game shaped him up or he's only this agile when he needs to be.
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The Raccoons: Read No Evil! (1987)
Season 2, Episode 8
10/10
Herman's Hermits
3 January 2020
Not much to say about this episode but it's very nice. I do like that voiceover over the closing credits.
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Green Eggs and Ham: Box (2019)
Season 1, Episode 6
7/10
Hey Big Spender
3 January 2020
Guy and Sam are broke and on the run, so they disguise themselves by switching hats, which surprisingly works. The two are mistaken for carnival workers, so they hide out in the carnival. However, trouble soon follows. The chickeraffe gets restless, Gluntz and McWinkle are on their tail and, to Guy's horror, Michellee and EB are there. This is a slower episode, but has some nice touches (in this episode, the green eggs and ham are fried carnival food). EB and Michellee bond for the first time, and Guy does the ballsy thing and spells out my problem with a lot of cartoons: The idiot does something bad and he wins, the straight man does nothing wrong and loses. Whether he knows it or not, Guy spotted a pattern. The voice acting is great as always. Also, has anyone noticed that Guy hasn't eaten and neither had slept since the train? Those two need a break. Or Guy does anyway. I gotta add that bizarre, Ren and Stimpy-esque comedy doesn't usually belong in a Dr. Seuss adaptation, but it works really well here.
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Green Eggs and Ham: Dark (2019)
Season 1, Episode 5
10/10
Guy's Finest Hour
29 December 2019
Wow, Guy can be a real downer. But no wonder. Not only have his dreams as an inventor been dashed, he and Sam are forced to spend the night in a junkyard in a deep pit. Not even his inventing skills will help him because everything he makes blows up, so he's particularly pessimistic. EB and Michellee arrive at a bed and breakfast and of course Michellee's overprotectiveness causes EB to get bored. 'Dark' has a few moments worthy of its title as Sam almost gets them killed, and Guy reveals his dark and troubled past. We also learn about the Chickeraffe's: it was stolen from its mother by poachers. Sam begins to tell his story and although he gets interrupted, his story is the most tragic of all. That said, 'Dark' is absolutely hilarious. With Guy's deadpan wit and Sam's goofiness, they make a classic pair. Ultimately it's Sam who saves the day this time around, which shows that optimism has true value in it. And whereas Sam and Guy's need to stay together seemed a little contrived in the last episode, here the friendship they're forming feels genuine and natural. Either this episode or 'Box' is the most 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles' of the series.
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