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Here's my sledgehammer, and I'm going to sledgehammer my 'truth' home to you!
If you can't get the point of this drivel, you need to immediately go to the doctor and seek a scan, you might not have a brain. WOW! This short has no idea what "subtle" means. Holy crap is this bad. The acting is fine, she's just great. The problem with this crap is, the dialogue should have been cut by 3/4ths. Let the audience figure out your point, don't sledgehammer your everybody's great don't be prejudiced crap into everyone. You do realize that someone might have voted for Brexit and actually are not racist? This really feels like a Brexit whiner's attack on everyone who voted exit. By the way, not a European so actually don't care if UK leaves or not. The Europe side shouldn't categorize everyone who doesn't want to follow Europe's path as as racist. when you do, you are just as much a racist as the person you accuse. Anyway, cut the radio announcer's blathering, especially all after the attack, and you actually have a good short. Right now, it looks like propaganda, horrible propaganda and convinces no one.
The Perfection (2018)
A tremendous hype engine, but watch it.
A tremendous hype engine "Oh the vomiting etc. has made people sick..." blah blah blah. The reality, nope, it's really not even close to being that bad. Yuck? Perhaps, but I ate lunch watching this and do get grossed out by things like Saw (though enjoy them), and these scenes had no effect. You know very well what the story is about early, so the reveal isn't much. I agree with another comment here, the hair thing is a big deal? Really? Didn't the character already tell us several times about it? So that scene falls flat. The plot is just plain stupid. It's as if you go to the completely wrong extreme to solve a problem, like you lost your phone so you blow up the post office (not a spoiler there's neither in this film). It doesn't make sense. It is stupid. The very last scene where they play the cello in a Duet, and you see their audience, is also very stupid. If this is a sinister path your sinister path is to provide the evil person with what the evil person has always strived for "The Perfection"? Really? No this was just done for a gross out factor, which unfortunately just looked more silly than anything. BUT, if you can get over all that, which I can, I'm glad I watched it. It is perfection for the simple minded, but for anyone with slight reasoning power, it's stupid. BUT, again, visually it was enjoyable, the acting was fine. Some bit's of the camera work is perfection, when she's playing solo for an audience. Still glad I watched it, tho just don't think about it.
Diary of the Dead (2007)
A pretentious bunch of twaddle.
Was there any character that didn't spout pretentious crap? Rather than trying to get their point across subtly, they sledgehammer the point. Social commentary. Really, that crap is actually considered social commentary. Sorry, no it isn't. It's just stupid crap. Oh, a gun, it's so violent. "By now we've become part of the 24/7." "We're shooting the violence, take it all in stride". Blah, blah, blah. Where did you learn to use that thing? A bow and arrow? REALLY. IS it that difficult to learn how to use? Professor, must talk. In short sentences. that really aren't sentences. So, the important thing-- Is it worth watching with the sound off? No not really, unless you're bored and so one gave it to you for free. "It used to be use against us. Now it's us against them." "He was right.... but now them is us." Holy crap Batman that is pure moose poop. This is intelligent? Heck, it isn't even worth pre-school.
The Saint (2017)
OK, if you can forget this is the Saint....
and if you can give them a giant leeway- perhaps they'd get better over the next year, you could enjoy this. But my God, the last scene, him hiding behind a tree just makes you groan! Can anything scream stupid more than that? I've only seen a few of the original TV show, listened to every dang old radio show- starring Vincent Price, but this is not the Saint. It's some spy dude. And it falls into the same traps every other US (and who knows maybe the world) TV show does, for example, you have a female computer expert, who is not the Saint hence not the star, and when the expert is flummoxed, you have to have the Saint, the star, give a suggestion that even a computer novice like me would know, and the computer expert says something like "Good idea, I didn't think of that." I mean it's really something stupid like "Did you turn it off then on again?" But then, every mystery show does that. They're filled with idiot "experts" that the star has to suggest things to. Plus, some of the dialog is just so stupid. It treats the viewer as an idiot. But who knows, if you can ignore the books, the radio shows, the original TV show and it got non-insulting intelligent writers then maybe this could have been a show worth wasting an hour on. Not a whole-hearted endorsement.
Scream: The TV Series (2015)
If this is what teens think is smart
... then they need to watch more than this channel for morons. This looks like it was filmed in the 80s as a bad syndicated TV show, for those to young to know what that is, think straight to DVD movie i.e. crap. I saw the first 8 minutes of the show as a preview and was really excited to see the show (except it really was just a rehash of the first movie's intro.). It looks like they spent all the money for the show on the first 8 minutes, and had to go cheap for the rest of the episode. Really guys, the lighting and filming looks like "Small Wonder" (god awful syndicated show from the 80s.) As for the actual writing, it is obvious that the writers are really worn out and need to stop re-treading the same boring themes. Get rid of the "Randy" character. OLD really old. Kevin Williamson- you are so burnt out, all you are doing is a bad repeat of your movies. Time to retire. Or at least put in some production values so that I can look past the terrible rewriting of Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3 etc etc.
A Deadly Adoption (2015)
If paint drying is too adventurous for you.
The movie that killed his future "serious" drama career. No doubt, like must other comedians they desire to do serious rolls, now with this crap no one's going to believe he ever does anything except "ironically". No one will take him seriously. I know he's trying "to take the stuff (word prohibited" but he's a seriously bad actor, in a so far dull movie. Someone really thought this was an "insane thriller"? You have really got to have a desire to want this to be funny. It certainly isn't so bad it's good. DULL. I'm surprised anyone got to the end of this snooze fest, I'm half way through and writing this hoping it gets better. You people must be crap junkies or whats-his-face junkies. You must be of the ilk that thinks Troma movies are great. Only thing funny in this movie is the name of the kid- means dirt, filth. You who loved it, I truly suggest the watching paint dry channel, I'm sure you'll be amazed. I'm not really sure Ferrell is intelligent enough to realize this wasn't serious. Finally, maybe just a tiny research about diabetes. I'll give you the very end was laughable but it takes a big desire or a really dumb person to get to the end of the 2 hour waste of time. I'm betting the reason no one related to the movie gave any interviews was because they were hoping someone wouldn't laugh at it and it would be their 1st step to be taken seriously. But, he can't act.
I watched this with my mother in the tender teen years, lol. Then, once I grew up and actually learned things, it came on a cable network. My mother loved it, so I taped the episodes and sent them to her (before anything was released). My word, what a completely awful show full of stupid thinking and excruciating pap. I had t leave the room when it was on fearing the mental midget supposed "thought" would infect me. I wouldn't let any of my family watch it fearing they'd never be able to use their brains after watching this stupid crap. What a bunch a dribble. Thank God for high school and college that taught me to think- because watching this crap will actually kill brain cells. It's a shame, because as an unthinking kid, I liked the show- probably because my parents liked it. Needles to say, today I actually like things that require thought, not the pablum stupid political bent this show had. I have no idea if this show was actually popular during it's heyday, but I do know Haggerty's drug bust (speeding down the highway pitching drugs out the window) ended this horrible show.
Perfect movie to judge future employees
If you ever needed to see whether to put a person in a position of power or not, this is the perfect movie to make them watch. If they like it, definitely no higher than a janitor. If they rightly see it as pretty stupid, then you can trust them with an important job. Just horribly bad. What a stupid story. This has not held up well. This detective is so smart, yet this moron can't figure out that after the house blows up, car blows up, do you think maybe they'll go after his office? No, lets just play around like a moron. Would be nice to have some jokes there, or at least jokes that someone smarter than a middle-schooler might laugh at. In fact, the only funny things were said by everyone but Ford Farlaine (Ed O'Neil's singing). He certainly has a dick fetish, or just isn't smart enough to make better jokes. Do you really think the joke where the guy falls through the tour bus is at all funny? So, if you like it, you're a janitor. Of course, now we'll get fans of it pretending to be brain surgeons etc. Well, I'm the Secretary-General of the United Nations.
The Lizzie Borden Chronicles (2015)
Who screwed with this director?
You can barely hear the dialogue in this above the director screaming "LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO! LOOK AT ME!!" Was he confused in thinking he was directing a rap video? He's about as subtle in attempting to get a mood across as if hitting the viewer with a sledgehammer. Maybe the story was weak and he was trying to keep anyone from following it. Every possible technique that directors use-again- subtly to draw you in is used without abandon. Used a few times you're drawn in- used every second in 1 hour and it's a mess. In fact, it's all I think about instead of the story. Usually this is seen in first time directors, but this guy has done some good work- what in the world happened? As for the story, "based on fact". I really doubt it. I'm no expert on Lizzy Borden but I've never read of any suspicious disappearances around her. She killed once, probably, but that's about it from what I've heard.
The Lords of Salem (2012)
Gibberish is perhaps the best you can say for this thing. It's not awful (1) simply because his wife, and the other actors are worth watching. But so many times during watching this movie, I wondered if there was anything else that I taped I'd rather watch. When I finally decided there must be something, it was almost done so I watched it fast forward. It really was as boring as others have mentioned. You do get to see a lot of old, fat naked women which, OK this really isn't a joke, it's great to see anything other than stick women. (yes I am a male and would rather see stick women, or actually athletic women, but what the heck). I loved many of the actors, didn't really like the crap movie. I'm probably in the minority here, but I kind of liked Zombie's Halloween movies- maybe not the 2nd so much, but this was poop.
Parks and Recreation (2009)
Only likable for a small amount of people
I'm guessing you have to be of a certain political bent to enjoy this, or of the opposite to hate it. I really don't care, I just think this is incredibly boring. It's only a half hour but I swear it's the longest half hour you'll spend without laughing, well to be fair there's probably one or two laughs, but a lot of dull and uninteresting characters. I can completely understand it's low ratings and how it survives on the least watched network. Of course supporters and NBC have to create research stating that "more watch than the ratings state". Yeah really. You've got to really want to support your beliefs to have to put up with this.
Starship Troopers (1997)
Enjoy, but save us from your "deep thoughts" It's not much more than an action movie
Opposed to the one who thinks this is a subtle film, you have to be completely clueless to not get the "point". This is as subtle as having an elephant stomping through your living room. Doubt me, then check the scene about 20 minutes in with the ex-soldier "Infrantry made me the man I am." If you don't get it, you probably are too stupid to read this. The one thing this movie and the goofs reviewing it exposes is that people really fail to understand fascism. The thing you most fail to understand is it's practically the same as those wonderful socialist nations. Can't see any difference between the two theories in reality, just like this movie. Finally, feel free to enjoy the movie, it's not bad, but for all you giggling in glee thinking this an attack on US Imperialism and the stupidity of it, I've got to think you're as stupid as the military in this movie. Things like this, and the "intellectual" reviews are really simplistic and incapable of anything but superficial thought. This movie is not subtle, not nuanced, not deep (presents only 1 view and fails to consider any other arguments), and not anything more than Robocop Goes to War. But, hey, I liked both movies. I'll buy that for a dollar.
Dark House (2009)
Some things are good but you probably won't want to slog through it
If you ignore the story you can find things to enjoy. First and best is Jeffrey Combs acting a completely different character than I have ever seen. I think it's his best. Does that make it worth seeing? No, unless you are fan. Secondly, again ignore the story, and enjoy the sets and vivid colors. Yes stupid reason to watch a movie but nice to see a non-drab movie. Third, there are four great camera shots, i.e. angles etc. that would really work well with a better script.
Negatives, except for obvious, really could do without the Joe Jonas and Johnny Depp lookalikes. The Depp one even tried to act like him. The decapitation blood scene is as bad as Tokyo Gore Police (one you absolutely have to watch. The big bad evil woman's hair and acting in last scenes is more comical than scary. Terrible smarmy cops summing up the crimes, unbelievable acting of the little girl who discovers the bodies in the beginning of movie, and horrible idea of the black spooky mist flying around the room. But did like the squirrel crossing the electric lines behind the adult "little girl" in the very last scene.
Dark Floors (2008)
This is not that difficult to understand.
Look this is not that difficult to understand! I'll admit, I did read the posting that Lordi was a band and that they wear ridiculously silly monster costumes, and that the head goon (the completely un-terrifying monster in the garage (who looks more like a hamburger stand chef from the 70's than a monster) can control time etc. and the rest of the silly monsters hunt down loony Lordi's enemies; but even without that knowledge you can tell what's going on here. You can tell it's a fight of good v evil and that the girl in going through the fight several times (look at the two dead people who are huddled together in the hall and see a striking similarity to the nurse and dad. The one guy who knows what's going on is dead and keeps hanging around, the security guard died twice- yes that's probably him that's turned to dust in an earlier incarnation.
Anyway, it's not a bad movie. I like the atmosphere and the scary- if you can really call them scary moments. But one thing the movie could benefit from is much less- MUCH LESS- air time for the silly monster band members. The only one they did right in the movie was the banshee, and by right I mean she was a ghost effect so you couldn't see completely how completely silly she looked. So, stick the band members in the shadows, up the scares (I mean they had no idea how to create a scare so instead, they just piled the corridors full of dead bodies), plus a little better acting and better lines (I mean some of the dialogue was so stupid and didn't even fit the scene) and you could have a movie worth seeing more than once.