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Was disappointed that this movie was not better as I expected far more than what I saw. As many others have reviewed this movie I will keep mine short. The two biggest issues I had were the casting choices of Kidman and Wilson and the length. I like Kidman as an actress, but feel she is only in here for face recognition due to the many low level poor actors used. A waste of her talent. Patrick Wilson is so far from a believable villain as to be almost a parody of himself. I realize that there are probably a lot of A list actors that don't want anything to do with some of the super hero movies, but there must have been someone that could have been more threatening. My second beef is with the length of the movie. No reason at all for this to run almost 2 1/2 hours. Not enough story to fill that time.
To end on a positive note, some of the special effects are pretty decent.
Mortal Engines (2018)
Based on the brief movie summary I thought that this might be an interesting movie. It is, and it isn't. The overall story is rather simple but there are moments where it is interesting. A bit more back story would have been a real good idea. What happened to cause these rolling cities? A supposedly advanced civilisation that thinks weapons from long long ago are superior to what they currently have. Really? Also found the scale of things to be way off. Big city eats little city for power but little city gets stymied by a canyon that isn't much bigger than the tracks left by the big city. Guess maybe in fantasy land things don't have to make sense. But for people that are looking for more than chases, fights and explosions the story does matter and details are important.
I'm guessing that most of the great reviews are from younger folks that have grown up with movies that are big on special effects and weak on story. For them this is an acceptable movie. For those looking for a good story, you may be disappointed.
Not great, but not awful.
IMDB shows this video as being 99 mins. Actual run time was 112. Video watched did have english subtitles so the story was easy to follow. Guy longs after coworker who is being controlled by another, older man. She finally allows the guy to have sex with her. Once there he finds some videos of her in a bondage and submission video where she is performing with the older man. What follows is his attempt to obtain her from the older man.
There are some sex scenes but nothing explicit is shown. The story doesn't really allow for any character development which makes the movie seem to be only about the sex. While the acting is acceptable and the actress is attractive their needs to be more story for me to give this movie a high rating.
No doubt this video will appeal to some people and that is okay. Others might find it a bit slow and as I've said not the movie you might expect based on the title.
Your Move (2017)
Actor, writer and director.
Maybe this movie is awful because one person was trying to do too much. The story itself is worth about 15 minutes of time. The movie also could have been done in about 15 minutes. Watch until the kidnapping and then the last 5 minutes and you'll have seen all that there is to see. Kidnap happens on video chat, husband gets really mad, husband finds wife and daughter before police could. He then kills kidnapper. The end. Everything else is pointless filler. Would not be so bad if any of that time had been spent on character development. Instead it is just different scenes that don't build on the story.
Hopefully once money people in Hollywood see how awful this is they will ensure that Goss never gets to direct again. As for his writing, maybe being a former singer he is better off writing three minute songs instead of trying to fill 100 minutes for a movie run time. Actually most songs tell more story in those three minutes that you get from this movie.
Tired old story redone many times, and much better, make this a total waste of time. If you love Luke Goss then maybe you'll enjoy some of this. Otherwise save yourselves and pass this by.
Minutes to Midnight (2018)
I guess I should have expected this movie to be bad because William Baldwin is involved. Typical of his movies this one has no real point. It could have been entertaining, but it isn't. Just an excuse to have some masked killers slaughter some incredibly stupid young people. Some of the other actors appear to be trying hard to look convincing in their roles. Others, like Baldwin, are just bad. Some of the special effects are also very poorly done. Not surprising that there is really no plot to this movie either. As stated this is just a reason to have some gore to excite those that need to see that for a movie to be good.
If you are looking for some cheaply done gore fest then this might be of interest. It also could fit into that sub category of so bad that it's good. If you have time to waste and some popcorn or pizza to eat then this might suffice while you eat.
Bloody Snow (2016)
This is a very cheaply done, very poorly written and acted film. Story lacks imagination, filming looks amateurish at best and the acting is worse than you'd see in a high school play. This is what happens when people are allowed to make a film that have little or no experience doing anything like this before. It was so bad that at one point they decided to throw in some nudity, maybe in hopes that anyone watching would keep watching hoping for more. Another movie where there is no character development and what we do see of the characters makes us dislike them enough as to not care when they are killed.
Best part of this disaster is that it is only an hour long. Still not worth the effort.
The Wrong Babysitter (2017)
Sad to admit that I have seen worse.
I hate to dump on an entire country, especially the one I live in, but this is so typical of Canadian movies. Not enough money or desire to make something decent. Using a lot of Canadian talent, while patriotic, can at times mean getting less than great performers. However, the worst job might have been a non Canadian. Zuniga is awful in this role. She is not at all believable as a mother that has had her daughter kidnapped. The rest of the cast might just have had nothing much to work with and working with an uninspired Zuniga would not be easy. The story is very thin which never helps and the writing sure isn't very good either.
All in all a failure at providing anything entertaining.
I mostly enjoy horror, gore, bondage, visual oddities and the like. There is nothing in this film that makes me like anything about it. Lunatic makes snuff films killing people that have wronged him. That is the entire plot and story. Production value is worse than home video. Performers are either the worst actors money could buy, or were institutionalised and this was part of their punishment for their crimes. It disgusts me that other reviewers have the nerve to compare this crap to any other movie made other than that it might be the worst ever. There is no point to be made here. Nothing about this made me think it could ever be anything real. If a movie can't do that then why bother?
Stay away from this garbage. There is nothing here that is either entertaining or worthy of the time wasted. I hope that the real people involved in this never worked again if this is an indication of what they can do.
Maximum Shame (2010)
Unique and unusual
Had no idea what to expect from this movie. The write up gives nothing away. It is a game of chess, sort of. But it is done in a way I have never seen before. For sure this movie will not appeal to a lot of people as attested by the average rating of 2.8 as of this date. I can't say that I really liked the movie, but am giving it points for originality. A very low budget movie that has some surprisingly good effects. Might appeal to some kinky folks with the use of different gags to keep women from talking. Not sure if there is a deeper meaning behind the gags, but they are prevalent and different. Probably the weirdest thing about this movie is that for no apparent reason a couple characters start singing. If you like movies that are very different and hard to explain, then this might be for you. It sure won't be for everyone.
Hell's Half Acre (2006)
Wasn't going to write a review for this thing, but if this prevents even one person from watching this, then I will have done my part.
If you gave a bunch of ten to twelve year olds a camera and a hundred dollars and told them to make a movie with lots of fake deaths, no story, and nothing logical happening, it would likely be better done than this garbage. How these people spent as much money as they did on this mystifies me. It wasn't spent on special effects, nor on a story, certainly not on the performers, I can not in good conscience call them actors, nor on anything else that can be seen in this film. Maybe they ate at expensive restaurants while making this and spent the money on that.
This thing starts with an incredibly fake public message warning others than this movie is too shocking and disturbing for your children to watch. Not because of the violence, blood or adult themes. But in fact because it is the worst possible way to spend 45 minutes ever. Watch your toaster and it will offer more entertainment value. Nobody should watch this because it is beyond horrible. The only violence is pretty much that which is shown during the public service announcement. The rest is just done for effect. Nothing added to the story at all. Not that there is much story. Almost indestructible guy kills random people. Unbeknown to us he is highly flammable and gets burned to death. Sorry for the spoilers, but this way you won't need to watch to see the story.
Even though this is a rather short film, don't be fooled as it will seem to waste more time than expected.
Ang-ma-reul bo-at-da (2010)
Much too long
This is a movie with a decent story and is well put together. The problem I have with this is that the story does not justify the well over 2 hour run time. Had some of the useless filler been taken out the story and entertainment value would have been better. There are a number of issues with how some of the characters are developed. Mostly the police are rather dim when it comes to solving crime. Our "hero" makes some questionable decisions as well. Why allow a serial killer to keep going out and killing more people? I get the whole revenge angle, but to have others die for his revenge makes him seem like he is no better than the other killers.
There is a fair bit of blood and gore with this movie which could be off putting to some people. However it isn't all that bad and does fit with the story of a sicko killer and an overwrought man bent on revenge.
If you have the time to sit through the whole movie it is worth a look.
The Pet (2006)
To start I do not think this movie represents any kind of BDSM relationship. He buys her to be his pet. She apparently is so desperate for money that she accepts it from him seemingly without strings attached. He then mentions that she could try being a pet. People in this lifestyle don't on a whim decide that they should give this a try. She really doesn't even know what she is signing up for. She is kept in a torturous triangle cage where she can't even sleep on the floor. Just the bars on the bottom of the cage. Who would treat something so precious in such an abhorrent way. Rather than wake her from what seems to be her endless sleep he uses her shock collar instead. His idea of a pet goes from potential love to pain in seconds and she doesn't even do anything wrong. Whens she does wet the floor and deserves pain she gets nothing but a "bad dog".
The actors, while not great, look good doing their thing. Maybe with a decent script they would be much better.
The ending was far too rushed with little story to fit the ending. He manages to take her owners tag out of his pocket at a meeting of other owners with pets and drops it on the floor in front of her face. Rather than say anything, and with him oblivious to the fact that he dropped the most important thing he had, another owner picks it up and uses it to sell her even though he knows the rightful owner would never sell. Suddenly some clowns arrive to take her away to be used as a heart donor. She ends up being retained by her original owner but dies soon after being saved. Basically that is the end.
For anyone to claim that this portrays any aspect of an alternative lifestyle is a joke. This is fiction of a guy that pays a woman to be his dog and she ends up dying because of his carelessness. There is no lifestyle choice.
Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist (2004)
Nobody could find this interesting.
Like a very few others the title sucked me in to waste almost 100 minutes of my life watching crap. The first 42 minutes are some awful home movie like shots of women supposedly tied up. The few brief glimpses of their hands appear to show no ropes or at best some thin string. Certainly nothing that would indicate the "victim" could not escape. The remainder of the film is just video of still photos being scanned. There is no rhyme or reason to the photos shown or the video. No words are spoken throughout the movie and what little acting there is is horrible. Women looking very bored standing or lying around. If there is ever an award for looking bored then these "actresses" have a good chance to win.
Do yourself a favour and stay as far away from this junk as you can. There is nothing of interest to justify the time wasted, unless you really want to write a negative review.
Jonny's Sweet Revenge (2015)
What happens when a movie is supposedly a comedy yet there is nothing very funny about it? The story jumps around so much that unless you are paying close attention, and I could not, it can be hard to figure out who is on what side and why. Possibly this is an intended consequence of the direction the editor and director wanted the movie to take. I have no real issue with the acting on display other than the two cops that are unbelievably poor performances. For their sake I hope this is not some of their best work.
Not sure why some reviews read like promotional advertisements for the movie. To each their own. I would never waste my time watching garbage like this again.
The Strangers (2008)
If you want to be disappointed......
I must admit that I like Liv Tyler tied up. She does it well. That might be the only good thing to say about this film. Sadly there was not enough of it to justify watching the whole thing. As with most movies of this genre there was hope that this might somehow be different or have a twist other than the typical intruder type films. It does not. What is does have is so many illogical decisions by the victims that you likely are happy when they are put out of their misery. The kids finding the aftermath of the intruders reminded me a little of In Cold Blood when the neighbour finds the victims. As with all of the other characters there was no character development other than we are shown that they are very young religious promoters. If you need to learn what not to do if ever in this situation, then this movie would be informative as the victims do everything possible to get themselves killed. It is possible that these two people are just incredibly stupid. As for the killers, they get credited at the end of the movie although you never get to see their faces directly. Anyone could have played their roles as they really don't do anything but stand around until the end when they finally do what they were there for. My other issue with them is that they don't make any noise when they do move around and they seem to be able to disappear in a matter of seconds. Could they be aliens? Impossible to know since we are never given any clue as to what they are doing what they are doing. No backstory or anything. Did they have a reason for wanting this couple dead? Was it just a random thing to waste a few hours? Was there a religious reason for the attacks? Might connect the kids story a little.
As there is nothing unique or original about this film I can't recommend it for any reason. Unless you like to see Liv Tyler briefly tied up.
The Image (1975)
Well done for it's time.
Considering that this film was made in 1975 it shows more brutality than I had expected. The story itself is paper thin. What these characters do besides their chosen lifestyle doesn't seem to be of any importance to the story. Anne is a very pretty and obvious object of desire for her Mistress and male friend. Claire is a rather off-putting woman that enjoys abusing Anne. Jean is the guy that provides the male sex object. Anne is abused and humiliated in a number of ways by both of her "lovers". The S&M/bondage/dominance scenes are at times brutal yet likely accurately portrayed. More brutal than anything else I have seen from the mid 70's.
If you are looking for something sexy and/or kinky then this might be for you. As seen by the other reviews some really like it and some hate it. The production values and the acting are good.
The Den (2013)
Was expecting better.
From the brief storyline I thought this movie had an interesting view of something that we all have knowledge about. However, while this isn't an awful movie, there are concerns about the story and the pacing. It begins as an interesting proposal for an internet project. From there it spirals into something unexpected. Found that the early part of the film was a bit slow to develop, yet the end seemed quite rushed. Were they running out of time, or money, and had to wrap things without concern for story completion? None of the characters were interesting enough to actually care about what happened to them, if anything. As a matter of fact there is almost no back story on any character. If we don't care for them, how can we be scared when something happens to them? Not a real horror movie in my mind, unless blood scares you. I also did not find the lead actress to be all that convincing in her role. Some of her reactions are forced. She seems to be a computer efficient person based on her project, yet doesn't seem capable of critical thinking when things go awry.
Can't really criticize the production values as the movie is well made other than the pacing, which might just have been the way it was edited. Could see this maybe being liked by younger viewers as the cast is rather young for the most part. The few older people are just token pieces. Guess if you were having friends over and needed something on the TV this would be fine. But it isn't interesting enough to keep you glued to your seat.
Cauldron: Baptism of Blood (2004)
Will it ever end?
I guess when one is making a low budget movie one must make the tough choices of what to do with the limited money available. After watching this movie I am unable to determine where the director spent the money. The acting is poor, the script has little continuity, the special effects are far from special and the pace is pedestrian at best. The endless dance scenes with the coven of witches made me want to scream. Awful dancing by women that did not look all that interested in what they were doing. The scenes went on far too long and did not seem to add anything to the movie other than time. Maybe this movie would have been better had the director cut some of the filler and told more of the story. If you're a fan of this director then go for it. Otherwise find something better to watch for the 100 minutes.
Fetish Dolls Die Laughing (2012)
Awful from start to finish
To say that this film is bad is a huge understatement. From awful acting to even worse production values this belongs on everyone's worst films watched list. The story, while thin, could have been worth seeing. However, the people involved had no idea how to develop anything. Fom amateurish acting to bad special effects this one just missed in every way. I've seen low budget movies that were far superior to this one. Crazed tickle fetish monster captures and kills some plain looking women after properly restraining them. As stated in the title they die laughing. A couple of detectives try to find the tickle monster but can't seem to figure out who the culprit is. By the time they do you will be thankful that the end of this film is near.
I do wish that I could give an A for effort, but not sure that much went into this undertaking. Would like to see this story done by more capable people with more money to spend to get it done right..
Save your time and money for something else.