"Veep" Iowa (TV Episode 2019) Poster

(TV Series)



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Selina Meyer: You know what I would like to tell people, but obviously I can't?

Gary Walsh: Say it here.

Selina Meyer: I should be president...

Gary Walsh: Yeah?

Selina Meyer: Because it is my goddamn turn! I was the game-changer!

[Gary agrees]

Selina Meyer: I took a dump on the glass ceiling, and I shaved my muff in the sink of the old boys' club. But for three years Hughes kept me chained to a radiator in some basement in Cleveland. So as far as I'm concerned, America owes me an eight-year stay in the White House, and this time, I want a war!

Gary Walsh: Ye-es!


Gary Walsh: All right. Do you want me to read that back?

Selina Meyer: Oh, we can't use any of that. It sounds like I'm shouting from a balcony in Munich.

Gary Walsh: [Gasps] Like Evita!

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Selina Meyer: [after watching Jonah's disastrous interview video] What? Wha...

Kent Davison: Actually, since this segment first aired, Jonah's numbers are up over 3%. He's tapped into something.

Amy Brookheimer: Yeah, his stepsister.

Ben Cafferty: Well, it's playing big with non-college educated white males, and... college educated white males. Basically, white males.

Selina Meyer: This entire country is getting more disgusting by the second.

Kent Davison: That's a demo we're targeting mostly on Facebook.

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Selina Meyer: If I ever needed a miracle, it is right now.

Richard Splett: Ma'am, there's been a mass shooting in a mall in Phoenix. Twenty-seven people have been killed.

Selina Meyer: [Everybody reacts in shock and sadness] Hohhh...

[Something dawns on Selina. Dan, Kent and Amy have the same idea]

Selina Meyer: This can... work for us?

Dan Egan: Yes, because we couldn't possibly announce now out of respect for the victims.

Selina Meyer: Halle-fuckin'-lujah! We have to send that shooter a nice thank-you card.

Richard Splett: Actually, he shot himself before he could be apprehended. I'll send something to his wife.

[Continues to read about the incident on his smartphone]

Richard Splett: Oh. Actually, he shot her first.

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