Selina Meyer : You know what I would like to tell people, but obviously I can't?
Gary Walsh : Say it here.
Selina Meyer : I should be president...
Gary Walsh : Yeah?
Selina Meyer : Because it is my goddamn turn! I was the game-changer!
Selina Meyer : I took a dump on the glass ceiling, and I shaved my muff in the sink of the old boys' club. But for three years Hughes kept me chained to a radiator in some basement in Cleveland. So as far as I'm concerned, America owes me an eight-year stay in the White House, and this time, I want a war!
Gary Walsh : Ye-es!
Gary Walsh : All right. Do you want me to read that back?
Selina Meyer : Oh, we can't use any of that. It sounds like I'm shouting from a balcony in Munich.
Gary Walsh : [Gasps] Like Evita!
Selina Meyer : [after watching Jonah's disastrous interview video] What? Wha...
Kent Davison : Actually, since this segment first aired, Jonah's numbers are up over 3%. He's tapped into something.
Amy Brookheimer : Yeah, his stepsister.
Ben Cafferty : Well, it's playing big with non-college educated white males, and... college educated white males. Basically, white males.
Selina Meyer : This entire country is getting more disgusting by the second.
Kent Davison : That's a demo we're targeting mostly on Facebook.
Selina Meyer : If I ever needed a miracle, it is right now.
Richard Splett : Ma'am, there's been a mass shooting in a mall in Phoenix. Twenty-seven people have been killed.
Selina Meyer : [Everybody reacts in shock and sadness] Hohhh...
[Something dawns on Selina. Dan, Kent and Amy have the same idea]
Selina Meyer : This can... work for us?
Dan Egan : Yes, because we couldn't possibly announce now out of respect for the victims.
Selina Meyer : Halle-fuckin'-lujah! We have to send that shooter a nice thank-you card.
Richard Splett : Actually, he shot himself before he could be apprehended. I'll send something to his wife.
[Continues to read about the incident on his smartphone]
Richard Splett : Oh. Actually, he shot her first.