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"Saturday Night Live" Tom Hanks/Lady Gaga (TV Episode 2016) Poster

Quotes

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Hillary Clinton: Chris, here is the truth. Donald said he was going to be tough on Mexico, but when he met with the President, he choked.

Donald Trump: Wrong. Trademarked.

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Chris Wallace: Good evening, I'm Chris Wallace, and welcome to the third and final Presidential debate. Tonight is going to be a lot like the third Lord of the Rings movie. You don't really want to watch, but, hey, you've come this far.

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Man: Ok, yeah, yeah, and David Pumpkins is?

David Pumpkins: His own thing!

Woman: And the skeletons are...?

SkeletonSkeleton: Part of it!

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Darnell Hayes: [From category "They out here sayin'"] They out here sayin', the new iPhone wants for fingerprint, "for your protection.

[Doug buzzes in, surprising the host]

Darnell Hayes: Oh, ok then, Doug.

Doug: What is, I-I, I don't think so, that's how they get ya.

Darnell Hayes: Yes! Yes! That's it!

Keeley: Yes, I don't trust that!

Shanice: Me neither.

Doug: No, I read that goes straight to the government.

Shanice: Hm!

Darnell Hayes: Well, that is not bad Doug!

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Darnell Hayes: Doug, I don't know what's going on, but the board is yours.

Doug: Well thank you so much, Darnell. You people are fun. Can I say that? Is that ok? Can I say that?

Darnell Hayes: We'll give you a pass this time.

Doug: Okay, let's go to... Big Girls for $200.

Darnell Hayes: Okay, the answer there: Skinny women can do this for you. Doug?

Doug: What is, not a damn thing?

Darnell Hayes: Yeah, you damn right! You damn right! heh heh.

Doug: Yeah, cause, you know, my wife, my wife, she's a, she's a sturdy gal.

Shanice: [High-fives Doug!] That's my man right there!

Darnell HayesShaniceKeeley: Go Doug! Go Doug! Go Doug!

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Darnell Hayes: They out here saying that every vote counts. Oh, Doug again!

Doug: What is, come on, they already decided who wins, even before it happens.

Darnell Hayes: Yes! Yes! Yes! The Illuminati figured that out months ago! That's another one for Doug!

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Darnell Hayes: The mechanic says you owe $250 for new brake lines. Doug?

Doug: What is, you better go to that dude in my neighborhood who'll fix anything for $40.

Darnell Hayes: Why, why, you know Cecil?

Doug: Yeah, but my Cecil's name is Jimmy. And he fixed my refrigerator, my air conditioner and my cat.

Darnell Hayes: Yeah, yeah, everybody's got a guy. Woo, you all right, Doug!

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Mark: It's a hundred floors of frights. They're not all gonna be winners.

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