[Sam enters the gym]
Sam Sylvia : Okay. I said I'd do anything, so here we fucking are. Okay.
Sam Sylvia : Hello, ladies. I'm Sam Sylvia. Today, we're just gonna be doing first looks and first cuts.
Ruth : Are there sides?
Arthie Premkumar : I didn't get any sides.
Sam Sylvia : This is how this is gonna go, all right? No more talking. Just sit there, and look at me and smile. Okay?
Cherry Bang : How about you tell us what the hell we're doing here?
Sam Sylvia : Oh... hi, Cherry.
Cherry Bang : Hey, baby.
Sam Sylvia : How you doin', baby? Mm-hmm.
Cherry Bang : Good. This another one of your trashy vampire movies?
Sam Sylvia : What? No. This is not a movie. This is GLOW.
Ruth : Sorry, what's GLOW?
Sam Sylvia : Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. This is a wrestling television show. Only ladies. Lady wrestling. Just like the big guys, but girls. Get it? Girl on girl.
Arthie Premkumar : So like, Hulk Hogan?
Sam Sylvia : If one of you turns out to be like Hulk Hogan, I've hit the fucking jackpot.
[several girls raise their hands]
Sam Sylvia : All right, take it easy. This is what's happening, all right. Yes, this is a wrestling show. And yes, you're all gonna have to actually wrestle on cable television for thousands of people. That means... tit grabs. Cunt punches. Shrinky dinks. That move that looks like a catfight, but fancy. Did I say cunt punches? Okay, good. So, if any of you have a problem with, uh, doing a wrestling show, I suggest you leave now.
[half the attendees begin to leave the gym]
Sam Sylvia : Thank you. Really? You're going? Thank you.
[Sam lights up a cigarette. Jenny is about to walk out when she decides to stay]
Sam Sylvia : What happened there? You just... decided? All right, for those remaining, congratulations. You've made it through the first round of cuts. Pretty painless, right? All right, so I guess what we gotta do now is, I'm gonna sit over there, and you guys are gonna line up, get your headshots out, and I'm also gonna have you sign a waiver in case of, uh, serious injury and/or death.
Ruth : Hey, Mallory. It's Ruth Wilder. I was hoping to get some feedback on my audition.
Mallory : Have you been hiding in here for an hour?
[Mallory exits the toilet stall]
Ruth : Can you at least tell me who got the part? Was it Jeanie Barton?
Mallory : She's... in the mix.
Ruth : You bring me in a lot. And you never cast me. If there something I need to change, I wanna change it.
Mallory : [sighs] Every director says, 'Bring me someone I don't know. Someone I haven't seen. I want a girl who's real.' So I bring you in so they can see that they don't actually want the thing they think they want.
Mallory : Look, I do cast some experimental projects on the side, if you are open to that kind of thing.
Ruth : What kind of thing?
Mallory : Would you consider erotica?
Ruth : Porn? Like, in the Valley?
Mallory : Obviously, I'm not suggesting you go have sex on camera... unless that's something you're interested in.
Ruth : What I'm interested in are real parts. Not secretaries telling powerful men their wives are on line two.
Mallory : You read the man's part on purpose, didn't you?
Ruth : It's the better part.
Mallory : No shit. That's why we gave it to Steve Guttenberg.
Ruth : Did I tell you the casting director offered me porn?
Debbie : Uh... you? The girl who changes under her shirt?
Ruth : I don't do that anymore.
Debbie : [puts on pants] Well... oh, Jesus. Obviously, you shouldn't do porn. Unless it's, like, porn Shakespeare. Since you're such a nerd, you'd probably enjoy that.
Ruth : You know, I miss you making fun of me.
Debbie : Why don't you come visit me in Pasadena, then?
Ruth : Ugh. It's so far away.
Debbie : Come on. I've called you like a million times to hang out. What is going on?
Debbie : Ruth, are you okay?
Ruth : It's just... little stupid stuff. You know, like, don't know if I can pay my gas bill. I've got $83 in my bank account, and I'm waitressing all weekend. And I've eaten Cinnamon Toast Crunch for my last... six meals. But hey, you know, I'm gonna do porn. So, things are looking up. Heh.
[Ruth stands up to put on her pants]
Debbie : Can I tell you something that I realized recently?
Ruth : What?
Debbie : When I first got 'Paradise Cove', I was... God, so excited. And then they put me in the year-long coma. And I would lie in that hospital bed, just feeling powerless. And then season three, I graduate to a wheelchair with like, a sad blanket...
Ruth : I'm sorry. How is this supposed to help me?
Debbie : I'm getting there. Everything changed when Mark was like, 'Deb, don't be unhappy. Let's have a baby. I'll support us.' And I was like, 'Yes. Yeah. Why am I working?' Getting pregnant and written off that show, best decision I ever made.
Ruth : I choose work.
Debbie : But you're not working. I... Don't you wanna be happy and have a family?
Ruth : Oh, yeah. Yeah. Uh... I think I need to get a boyfriend first. Isn't that how it works?
Debbie : [gets up and grabs bag] Okay.
Ruth : No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 'Witness' is playing at the Dome!
Debbie : I can't leave my mom with Randy all day. She'll be feeding him Funyuns and Fresca and government conspiracies.
Ruth : Go. Go, I get it.
[Ruth hands her headshot photo]
Sam Sylvia : Ruth Wilder. Looks like you.
Ruth : Yeah. It's a headshot.
[Sam looks at Ruth's credentials]
Sam Sylvia : Oh, Strindberg. Who the fuck is that?
Ruth : Oh, it's a playwright.
Sam Sylvia : I'm kidding. I know who Strindberg is. I'm not an idiot. So what are you, like a... like a real actor?
Ruth : Yeah. I've done a bunch of plays in Omaha. At a little spot called the Blue Barn Theatre. I did a film a few years back. I've also done extensive mask work and clowning workshops.
Ruth : How much acting will there be on this show?
Sam Sylvia : As opposed to what?
Ruth : Hair pulling?
Sam Sylvia : You don't like wrestling?
Ruth : Well, I don't really know wrestling.
Sam Sylvia : You don't think wrestling is acting?
Ruth : It's not, is it? It's... It's more like a sport with costumes? Or... sorry, are you... Are you hiring actors to play wrestlers or are we the wrestlers?
Sam Sylvia : Yes.
Ruth : Which one?
Sam Sylvia : Do people think you're pretty? Because, like, I'm looking at you. One second, I think, 'Fuck yeah, she's hot.' And then the next second, I'm like, 'I don't know. Is she? Really?' I mean, you just have one of those faces that kind of... changes. Like, 'Ehh... Hmm.' I don't know.
Ruth : What the hell does that mean?
Sam Sylvia : It means I don't know... Ruth. Ruth. Ruth. That is not a great name.
[Sam exits his office to face the candidates]
Sam Sylvia : Okay. Five minutes, everybody.
[Ruth storms in the gym, wearing makeup and a wrestling costume]
Ruth : Hey!
[Ruth points at Sam]
Ruth : You're wrong about me.
Sam Sylvia : Yeah, I doubt it.
Cherry Bang : Damn, girl.
[Ruth enters the ring. She takes off her cape and struggles to throw it out of the ring]
Ruth : How long must this... go on? This punishment? Haven't I served my term?
[stomps on ring]
Ruth : Can't I apply... for a pardon?
[grabs stool and threatens to throw it]
Ruth : You know what I feel like? I feel... all the time... like a cat...
Ruth : ...on a hot tin roof.
[stomps on ring, then does a forward roll]
Ruth : ...who has come here to save...
[jumps on the turnbuckle and points at the other candidates and Sam]
Ruth : You! And you! And You! From evil.
[gets down from turnbuckle and jumps to the ropes, barely balancing herself]
Ruth : Train. Say your prayers. Eat your vitamins. 'Cause, uh...
[Debbie storms into the gym, carrying Randy with her]
Debbie : You fucking bitch! Oh, you fucking cunt! I should fucking kill you!
Ruth : Debbie, what are you doing here?
Debbie : Don't play dumb, homewrecker! Husband-fucker!
Ruth : Hold on, hold on, hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
Debbie : Did you sleep with Mark?
Ruth : Don't make me answer that.
[Tammé approaches Debbie]
Tammé Dawson : Do you want me to take him for you?
Debbie : Yes. Thank you.
[Debbie hands Randy to Tammé before looking back at Ruth]
Debbie : I wanna hear you say it.
Ruth : Uh...
Debbie : [slides into the ring] What the fuck kind of friend are you?
Ruth : I don't love him!
Debbie : What? Oh my God, of course you don't love him! You don't love anyone!
Ruth : I know! I fucked up! You think I don't know that?
[Debbie corners Ruth]
Debbie : How long? How long were you two... What? While I was pregnant?
Ruth : No! God, no! It was one time!
Debbie : Oh, what? What about the other night? That doesn't fucking count? Mark told me the whole fucking thing!
Ruth : I know. I told you, I fucked up!
[Debbie slaps Ruth]
[Debbie slaps Ruth, to the shock of the other ladies]
Debbie : I don't know... I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Ruth : It just happened.
Debbie : Haven't you learned anything from that sad fucking scene study class? Things don't just happen. People make choices. They want things, and then they go for them.
Ruth : Can we go somewhere and talk about this?
Debbie : I don't wanna fucking talk to you. I wanna... I wanna kick you ass. And then I never want to see you again.
[Debbie chases after Ruth]
Ruth : No!
Debbie : Come on!
Ruth : I'm not gonna fight you!
Reggie Walsh : Fight her! Do it!
Debbie : Come on!
Ruth : Debbie!
[Debbie grabs Ruth from behind, but Ruth hits her in the face with her elbow]
Ruth : I'm sorry.
[Debbie chases after Ruth again]
Debbie : Fucker!
Arthie Premkumar : Is this real?
Melanie Rosen : Who the fuck cares?
[as Sam watches Ruth and Debbie fight, he envisions them in an actual GLOW match. Salty snaps Sam out of it]
Salty 'The Sack' Johnson : Sam! Sam! Should we call it?
Sam Sylvia : Yeah. Call it.
[Salty slides in the ring to count the pinfall, as Debbie has Ruth pinned to the mat and Ruth helplessly looks at Sam]
Salty 'The Sack' Johnson : One! Two! Three!
Ruth : In this world, there are good guys and there are bad guys. And we are the good guys. You see that name on my door? It's my father's name, son of a bitch. But this isn't about him. This is about justice. This is about holding on to what's ours. This is about my company and my name. And I will not be bullied into submission.
Ruth : Whoo! Oh... I just wanna say thank you so much for bringing me in for this. There are not roles like this for women right now. It's really... ooh. It's really great.
Mallory : You were reading the man's part.
Ruth : Oh, God. Uh... Sorry. That's... 'cause I just thought Mel was short for Melanie, and, and then the other part was...
Mallory : Would you like to start over?
Ruth : Yes, I would.
Mallory : Okay.
[Assistant turns on camera]
Casting Assistant : This is about my firm and my name, and I will not be bullied into submission.
Ruth : [knocks on table] Sorry to interrupt. Your wife is on line two.
Mallory : Okay. Thank you, Ruth.
Ruth : So what's our backstory?
Carmen Wade : Our what?
Ruth : What's motivating this? Why are we fighting? What's... what's driving you to come after me and grab me by the hair and throw me to the ground? It has to be something.
Carmen Wade : He told us to.
Ruth : Look, there's still a lot of girls here, which means anyone could be cut. We have to go above and beyond. Trust me. I'm an actress, and I know what I'm doing.
Carmen Wade : Okay.
Salty 'The Sack' Johnson : Next.
[Ruth and Carmen crawl into the ring, preparing to do the hair mare. Carmen is about to grab Ruth by the hair when Ruth backs away]
Ruth : Please! I beg you! I am not your enemy!
Carmen Wade : You stole.
Ruth : Bread. For my family!
Sam Sylvia : W-What the fuck is this?
Salty 'The Sack' Johnson : Just do the move.
Ruth : We are. We are. We're just motivating it with backstory.
[pause, then Ruth reminds Carmen of her next line]
Ruth : [singing] There is a law...
Carmen Wade : There is a law, and you broke it. And now, you will pay the ultimate price.
[Carmen extends her hand before Ruth approaches to have her hair pulled]
Sam Sylvia : Okay, all right. That's it. Number 30, number 22, thank you.
Ruth : What? Why?
Sam Sylvia : What do you mean, 'Why?' I gave you basic direction. You didn't follow it. You're both out.
Ruth : There are no scenes to read, no character work, so yes, we improvised.
Sam Sylvia : Jesus Christ. Fucking actresses. All right, I'm feeling generous. Sophie's Choice, why should I pick you and not her? Go. Girl fight.
Ruth : I'm a real actress. I will work my ass off, and I will make you believe me when I do stuff, even if it's just hair pulling.
Sam Sylvia : Well, that was a very nice pitch. Very earnest. What about you?
Carmen Wade : My dad's Goliath Jackson.
Salty 'The Sack' Johnson : Holy shit!
Sam Sylvia : Holy shit, why?
Salty 'The Sack' Johnson : He's a giant. I mean... he's a legend in the ring, but he's also literally... gigantic. And the brothers too. Mighty Tom Jackson and Big Kurt Jackson.
Sam Sylvia : No shit.
Salty 'The Sack' Johnson : The Lumberjacksons.
Ruth : The Lumberjacksons?
[Salty shakes Carmen's hand]
Salty 'The Sack' Johnson : It's an honor to meet you.
Carmen Wade : Thanks.
Sam Sylvia : Hard sell, but I'm gonna have to go with the dynasty. You're out.
Ruth : Why? Because my dad was a high school science teacher and not some famous giant?
Sam Sylvia : Maybe. Or 'cause I don't like your face, or your ass. I-I-I don't know. Maybe I like both of them too much. I-I don't... I don't have to explain myself. That's the beauty of being a director. You're out.
[Ruth walks out of the ring]