The Disaster Artist (2017) Poster

Dave Franco: Greg, 'Mark'



  • Greg Sestero : Tommy, dude, this really isn't necessary.

    Tommy Wiseau : No, no! Very necessary. I need to show my ass to sell this picture.

  • Greg Sestero : You are a fucking villain, you fucking Frankenstein-looking motherfucker!

  • [from trailer] 

    Greg Sestero , Sandy Schklair : I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark.

  • [from trailer] 

    Sandy Schklair : Take 67, Action!

    [Wiseau enters the scene] 

    Tommy Wiseau : I hit her!

    Sandy Schklair : No! Do you want to change the line?

    Greg Sestero : You're doing great, man. We'll get there!

  • Tommy Wiseau : Los Angeles, everybody want to be star. All the pretty boys. They're lining up for the big shot.

    Greg Sestero : Just uh, just have to get lucky, I guess.

    Tommy Wiseau : No. No. It's not luck, Greg. Greg, you have to be the best. You have to be the best you can be. And never give up.

  • Greg Sestero : I wish we could just make our own movie.

    Tommy Wiseau : That great idea.

  • Greg Sestero : [to Carolyn, after she fainted on the set]  Can I ask you something?Why do you do it? You've got a husband, grand-kids. You live fifty miles out of town. And you're waking up at 5, driving all this way, for what?

    Carolyn Minnott : We're actors, Greg. For you, me, people like us, even the worst day on a movie set is better than the best day doing anything else.

  • [Tommy orders Juliette off the set for make-up after seeing a pimple on her shoulder] 

    Greg Sestero : W-what are you doing? Why are you acting like this?

    Tommy Wiseau : I make American movie. She needs to look sexy. Beautiful!

    [Greg grabs Tommy off the set] 

    Greg Sestero : Come here. Fuck, man.

    Tommy Wiseau : I know I'm hard on her.

    Greg Sestero : Yeah, you're hard, but it's not just that. What's going on with you?

    Tommy Wiseau : Stanley Kubrick, he nice to actors? Alfred Hitchcock? Let me tell you something, Greg. He do this movie, Birds.

    Greg Sestero : Yeah, I'm aware of The Birds.

    Tommy Wiseau : On this movie, he terrify actors. He locked them in room, he throw, he throw birds at them. Real birds! Nasty stuff. The actors, they crack every day. But this movie win every award. Is Mr. Hitchcock bad man? No. He great director!

    Greg Sestero : Yeah, but he was an asshole, and I bet he didn't direct with his fucking dick out.

    Tommy Wiseau : Oh, really? Well, maybe we check the record, okay? And you know, for your information, where director come from, dictator. Rest my case.

    Greg Sestero : You can't treat them like this! it's not right!

    Tommy Wiseau : I treat them how I treat them! If anyone needs to be upset here, it's me, quite frankly.

    Greg Sestero : Wait - why?

    Tommy Wiseau : I give them job, I give them salary. I already spent five million dollars on this movie, Greg.

    Greg Sestero : My God, are you kidding me? Five million dollars...?

    Tommy Wiseau : And they are not grateful! Nobody respect my vision! I know what they say, Greg. I hear them. Nobody trust me. Not even you, Greg!

    Greg Sestero : That's... what are you...

    Tommy Wiseau : Oh, see? You don't even trust me!

    [Tommy proceeds to walk back into the set] 

  • [Tommy walks out of the screening of The Room, disappointed that people are laughing at his movie. Greg follows him] 

    Greg Sestero : Hey, Tommy.

    Tommy Wiseau : They hate it.

    Greg Sestero : No, no, they're, they're just laughing.

    Tommy Wiseau : They're laughing. Laughing at me. Maybe it's true, you know. Maybe everybody right. Maybe, maybe I just big joke, ha, ha.

    Greg Sestero : No, Tommy...

    Tommy Wiseau : I try to open my heart, show them my soul, and they just hate me. Even you hate me, Greg.

    Greg Sestero : Hey, hey, hey. Listen to me, all right? All right, that thing out there, that's your movie. You made that. All right, like you said, you did that all by yourself. You know how special that is?

    [Tommy groans] 

    Greg Sestero : Hey, it's fucking incredible. How many people can say they have done something like that?

    Tommy Wiseau : I don't know, one thousand?

    Greg Sestero : All right, and yeah. Maybe it didn't turn out exactly as you hoped, but just listen for a second.

    Tommy Wiseau : Sound like they're laughing.

    Greg Sestero : All right, come here.

    [Tommy and Greg return to the theatre, to see the audience still laughing. We see the scene where Johnny kills himself on screen] 

    Greg Sestero : Look how much fun they're having. They fucking love it, man! How often do you think Hitchcock got a response like this?

    Tommy Wiseau : Never.

    Tommy Wiseau : [after Johnny throws the television on screen]  Greg, why you help me?

    Greg Sestero : 'Cause we're friends.

  • Greg Sestero : You're really gonna make this thing?

    Tommy Wiseau : No, Greg. We are going to do it. Together.

  • Greg Sestero : We are doing this.

    Tommy Wiseau : Tomorrow, this will all be yours, Greg.

    Greg Sestero : Ah! We will own you, L.A.!

    Tommy Wiseau : Watch out, here we come!

    Greg Sestero : You will know our names!

  • Greg Sestero : Tommy, that felt fucking amazing, man!

    Tommy Wiseau : There you go, now you're acting, Greg.

  • Greg Sestero : It's Bryan fucking Cranston!

  • [Tommy prepares to film his sex scene, and he is walking in the set completely naked] 

    Tommy Wiseau : Okay, okay, we go.

    Greg Sestero : Tommy, Tommy, this is not necessary.

    Tommy Wiseau : No. It very necessary. I need to show my ass to sell this movie, okay?

    Greg Sestero : That's not true.

    Sandy Schklair : At least we have a closed set.

    Tommy Wiseau : Not closed set. Open set. Life is not closed set! I want everyone to see!

    [points at Greg] 

    Tommy Wiseau : You, especially.

    Greg Sestero : W-what? Why? What?

    Tommy Wiseau : Brad Pitt do this in the Legend of the Fall.

  • Raphael : We gotta get going, okay - we're already four hours behind.

    Tommy Wiseau : Okay, well, whose fault that?

    Raphael : [pauses, flabbergasted]  *Yours.*

    Tommy Wiseau : Uh, my fault?

    Raphael : You're late *every* goddamn day.

    Tommy Wiseau : Alright, that your five cents. I'm fucking director!

    Raphael : Exactly!

    Tommy Wiseau : Exactly!

    Raphael : Exactly!

    Tommy Wiseau : Exactly - turn these lights on, right now!

    Raphael : If I turn on the lights, it's getting hotter.

    Tommy Wiseau : Be professional! Do your job!

    Raphael : You do *your* job!

    Greg Sestero : Tommy, it's hot enough as is!

    Tommy Wiseau : Greg, so you know about light too, huh? You know everything - you know water, light, girlfriend.

  • Tommy Wiseau : What is this? This makeup. You look like you're swimming in lake.

    Carolyn Minnott : It's a hundred degrees in here.

    Tommy Wiseau : Makeup!

    Greg Sestero : Tommy, if you're not gonna pay for air conditioning, you at least have to pay for water.

    Juliette : Could we maybe just have a little bit of water before the scene? I...

    Tommy Wiseau : Okay, I stop you. I stop everybody right there, okay? Nobody in Hollywood will give you water either, okay?

    Greg Sestero : That's not true. Dude, we can't work like this!

    Tommy Wiseau : Well, I'm not Santa Claus, all right? Maybe you go buy water for everybody, *Greg,* okay? Maybe girlfriend bring you some water or something.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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