Nostalgia Critic: It was a fantastic show and we loved every single minute of it. Why? Because it never relied on any sort of cheap Disney gimmicks. We had Aladdin for that.
Nostalgia Critic: Alas, Disney would never do anything different, anything original, or anything groundbreaking ever again -
[Gargoyles comes up]
Nostalgia Critic: OK - one.
Nostalgia Critic: [about "Gummi Bears"] And yes, the first thing you are thinking pops into everybody else's head, too. Why and/or how do you make a show based on a fruit snack, whose head and limbs you disturbingly bite off? Well, despite such a distracting commercial tie-in, the show, surprisingly, wasn't that bad. A lot of that had to do with its bright colors, fantasy-focused environment, and a theme song sung by the most easily excitable group ever. Just listen to how into it these guys get; it's impossible not to get sucked in yourself.
[the theme for the show is heard]
Nostalgia Critic: Little known fact: the singer actually died on that very last note, he was that into it.
Nostalgia Critic: Sit down before it starts!
Malcolm: Before what starts? You're just pressing play on the DVD player.
Nostalgia Critic: You don't understand! This is the Disney Afternoon! There's a certain ritual to this: We act like we just got back from school, throw our belongings on the ground for our mothers to pick up, surround ourselves in high-fructose corn syrup, and reward ourselves for dealing with the mental scars of our tremendously flawed education system.
Tamara: Wait, aren't you talking about Disney's One Saturday Morning on ABC?
Nostalgia Critic: Fuck Disney's One Saturday Morning on ABC! That was just a carbon-copy cartoon cock comparison compared to the Disney Afternoon!
Malcolm: Hey, "Pepper Ann" was good.
Nostalgia Critic: Okay, maybe one.
Tamara: And "Recess" was decent.
Nostalgia Critic: Yeah, if you want to get technical...
Malcolm: And "Kim Possible".
Nostalgia Critic: Well, "Kim Possible", obviously, but...
Tamara: And "Proud Family".
Nostalgia Critic: Who's dissing "The Proud Family"? Nobody's dissing "The Proud Family" while I'm around!
Malcolm: And there was also that other show, um... "Doug".
[the Critic's eyes widen in surprise]
Malcolm: Yeah, that was a pretty good cartoon series. You can't deny that must've had some sort of impact on your life.
[moments later, Malcolm is seen with a bloodied jaw and a black eye; he is rubbing his jaw]
Nostalgia Critic: [visibly shaking his hand, presumably from punching Malcolm] What you're both missing is that the Disney Afternoon had a timeless sense of magic and wonder that was the perfect welcome-home from a long day of schoolhouse popularity or awkward social punishment. So, if there's no other comparisons to "lesser forms of art"...
[looks toward Malcolm]
Malcolm: I can't feel my teeth...
Nostalgia Critic: We'll go ahead and get started!
Nostalgia Critic: Truth be told, I always thought I thought that the Duke for most of my childhood was just Skeletor before he lost his flesh. In fact, maybe this all takes place in the same universe and Skeletor is just the Duke's ghost.
Duke Igthorn: Tomorrow... the world! Uh oh...
[the Duke gets crushed by a boulder. There's a clap of thunder and we see that the Duke has become... ]
Skeletor: Nyawwww, dammit! Now what flamboyant spectacle am I going to chase...?