Howard Wolowitz: Sounds like you have a boyfriend.
Amy Farrah Fowler: He's not my boyfriend.
Raj Koothrappali: Are you sure? He's tall, pale, and awkward. That sounds like your type.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Should someone as lonely as you really be making fun of me?
Raj Koothrappali: Yeah, Howard! What is wrong with you?
Leonard Hofstadter: How did she get you to do yoga?
Sheldon Cooper: Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.
Sheldon Cooper: What if there is a big breakthrough in science today and I'm not here to see it?
Leonard Hofstadter: Do you really think there is going to be a breakthrough without you there to do it?
Sheldon Cooper: No. I was just tricking you.
Leonard Hofstadter: You taking Hollywood by storm?
Penny: Actually I'm at the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard Hofstadter: You got your job back. That is great news. I didn't want to say anything but you are making the right choice. To plunge yourself into debt now would be literally insane.
Penny: Yeah, I'm just returning my uniform.
Leonard Hofstadter: And I support you.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Maybe I should tell him.
[Howard and Raj object in unison]
Raj Koothrappali: You'll upset him. He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building and start swatting at planes.
Leonard Hofstadter: Hey.
Penny: I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I just needed some time to think.
Leonard Hofstadter: Okay.
Penny: Come in.
Leonard Hofstadter: Look if you want to break up, just say it.
Leonard Hofstadter: No, no, no. I take it back. Don't say it. Just hate me but stay with me. It worked for my parents.
Penny: Listen. I don't want to break up with you.
Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, okay. Good... good. So is it cool if I cry a little?
Penny: Yeah, I probably wouldn't.
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah.
Penny: Look you did the right thing last night. I was a mess. I was frustrated because my career was going nowhere.
Leonard Hofstadter: I get it. I want you to know that I support you whatever you want to do.
Penny: at, because I've been thinking that if I ever want this acting thing to work I need to focus all my energy on it. And to do that I should quit waitressing at The Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard Hofstadter: That... that's a big step.
Penny: I know.
Leonard Hofstadter: Well, before making any rash...
Penny: I already quit.
Leonard Hofstadter: And I support you.
[Penny hugs Leonard]
Penny: Why can't Leonard understand it?
Sheldon Cooper: Because she is not like us, Penny. We're dreamers.
Penny: Yeah, I'm gonna have to start crakcing a window when I leave you in the car.
Howard Wolowitz: You know, we can tell Bert for you.
Amy Farrah Fowler: You'd do that for me?
Howard Wolowitz: Sure. We've been in his shoes, we'll let him down easy.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Thank you, guys.
Raj Koothrappali: No problem.
[as they walk out]
Raj Koothrappali: So we'll tell him she's a lesbian.
Howard Wolowitz: Of course we'll tell him she's a lesbian!
Leonard Hofstadter: I thought we were in the kind of relationship where we make decisions together. If I'm wrong, maybe we should talk about the kind of relationship we are in.
Penny: Yeah, well, maybe we do.
Sheldon Cooper: I'm willing if you guys are.
Leonard Hofstadter: Can we please have some privacy?
Sheldon Cooper: No, I'm as much a part of this relationship as you two. I think that it is high time that we put all our cards on the table. For example, where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?
Leonard Hofstadter: No.
Sheldon Cooper: Penny?
Penny: Okay, wait. What are we doing?
Leonard Hofstadter: For some reason, we're planning a future where we both live with Sheldon forever.
Penny: Look, I know you think I am being reckless, and you might be right, but I need to take this shot
Sheldon Cooper: Yeah, no kidding. Despite what it says on her resume she is no longer 22.
Leonard Hofstadter: I swear, I am on your side.
Penny: You keep saying you're on my side, but you don't act like it.
Sheldon Cooper: He does that to me too. Why do we put up with this?
Leonard Hofstadter: Listen. I could never do what you are doing, okay? I would be terrified.
Penny: Well, it's scary for me too.
Sheldon Cooper: I'm fine with it.
Leonard Hofstadter: My point is, just because I couldn't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. And I'm proud of you.
Penny: Okay. Thank you.
Sheldon Cooper: It'll be okay.
[Pats Leonard on the back]
Leonard Hofstadter: Did you just put a kick me sign on my back?
Sheldon Cooper: No.
[Rips paper off Leonard's back]
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Batman got his ass kicked by a curling iron.
Stuart Bloom: Well, don't let The Riddler know that. It's a comic book joke. Or maybe it's not.
Bernadette Rostenkowski: There's a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine and he's a much nicer person than you, and if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jesse: Sure. Would you like a latte?
Bernadette Rostenkowski: No, I would not like a latte! Give me a cappuchino and a blueberry scone!
Jesse: We don't have blueberry. We have chocolate chip.
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Well that sounds even better!
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Did I startle you?
Stuart Bloom: At this point, any customer would startle me.
Bernadette Rostenkowski: You know, I work for a big pharmaceutical company. If you make this happen today, I could hook you up with anxiety medication, some anti depressants.
Stuart Bloom: Do you have any of these?
[Dumps full box of medicine bottles]
Howard Wolowitz: Does he know you're going out with Sheldon?
Amy Farrah Fowler: No. It hasn't come up.
Raj Koothrappali: Does Sheldon know you're going out with Sheldon?
Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm sorry, who are you dating?
Raj Koothrappali: Cut it out, Howard! God!
Amy Farrah Fowler: Hello, rat brain. Not so bitey without the rest of the rat to back you up, eh?
Sheldon Cooper: Did you get my lemonade?
Penny: Oh, sorry. I forgot.
Sheldon Cooper: A fitting swan song to your career as a waitress; to forget my order one last time.
Man V.O.: Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful place.
Sheldon Cooper: All right. I'm at the Hadron Supercollider.
Man V.O.: Now breathe in...
Man V.O.: ... and out.
Sheldon Cooper: Wow. Didn't see that coming.
Man V.O.: Once again. In...
Sheldon Cooper: [Inhales] Let me guess.
Man V.O.: ...and out.
Sheldon Cooper: What was I going to do, two ins in a row?
Sheldon Cooper: They say some great yogis have such great control over their bodies that they can take in water up through their genitals.
Penny: I don't think we'll be getting to do that today.
Sheldon Cooper: Too bad. It sounds like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze.