Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014) Poster

Naomi Watts: Lesley



  • Jake : Oh my gosh! How do you know Mike Shiner?

    Lesley : We share a vagina.

  • Lesley : Why don't I have any self respect?

    Laura : You're an actress, honey.

  • Jake : Ask me if he sells tickets.

    Riggan : Does he sell tickets?

    Jake : A shitload of tickets! Now ask me if the critics like him?

    Riggan : Do they like him?

    Jake : They want to spooge on him.

    Riggan : [Indicating there's a lady in the room]  Hey.

    Jake : Lesley...

    Lesley : Right on his face.

  • Lesley : I'm pathetic. You know, I've dreamt of being a Broadway actress since I was a little kid. And now I'm here. And I'm not a Broadway actress. I'm still just a little kid. And I keep waiting for someone to tell me I made it.

    Laura : [Sincerely]  Hey. You made it.

    Lesley : I did?

    Laura : Sadly it was with Mike Shiner, on a fake motel bed.

  • Lesley : Mike's available.

    Riggan : I thought he was doing the thing...?

    Lesley : He was. He quit... or got fired.

    Riggan : Which is it, quit or fired?

    Lesley : Well, with Mike it's usually both.

  • Mike Shiner : Lesley?

    Lesley : What?

    Mike Shiner : I think I'm hard.

    Lesley : No, you're not. It's just that sometimes you don't consider other people's feelings, that's all.

    Mike Shiner : No, no, no. I'm getting hard. Feel that.

  • Lesley : [after accidentally bad-mouthing Sam in front of her]  How is it that you always manage to find a new way to humiliate me?

    Mike Shiner : Oh, to be fair, you make it really easy.

  • [Mike got an erection on stage and actually wanted to have sex] 

    Lesley : You've got to be shitting me. You can't get it up in six months, and now you want to fuck me in front of 800 strangers?

  • Lesley : [Laura looks as if she is about to kiss Lesley]  What are you doing?

    Laura : Nothing.

    [Laura kisses Lesley] 

    Lesley : Do it again.

  • Lesley : [about Mike]  He's such an asshole.

    Laura : What'd he do now?

    Lesley : Oh, nothing. He just tried to *fuck* me in front of an entire audience.

    Laura : Oh, my god.

    Lesley : Right?

    Laura : That's kinda hot!

  • Lesley : What are you doing?

    Mike Shiner : I'm waiting on Larry.

    Larry : I'm finished.

    Mike Shiner : Then I'm just standing with my cock out.

    Lesley : Well, get dressed. Riggan's daughter's hanging around, and I don't need her to...

    Mike Shiner : Lesley?

    Lesley : ...walk in here. No, Mike, you haven't seen her. She's always hanging around, watching everyone, like Little Miss Creepy.

    Mike Shiner : Mm-hmm. Les?

    Lesley : I don't know if it's the drugs that fried her brain or what, but I just don't want her running to her father saying you showed her your junk.

    Mike Shiner : Then we should ask her to leave.

    Lesley : [mortified]  Oh, god. Really?

  • Lesley : Mike's like my 5 year old son. Neither of 'em has clean underwear.

    Larry : Or pubic hair, I imagine.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

Recently Viewed