Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014) Poster

Zach Galifianakis: Jake



  • Riggan : Just find me an actor. A good actor. Give me Woody Harrelson.

    Jake : He's doing the next Hunger Games.

    Riggan : Michael Fassbender?

    Jake : He's doing the prequel to the X-Men prequel.

    Riggan : How about Jeremy Renner?

    Jake : Who?

    Riggan : Jeremy Renner. He was nominated. He was the Hurt Locker guy.

    Jake : Oh, okay. He's an Avenger.

    Riggan : Fuck, they put him in a cape too?

  • Jake : Oh my gosh! How do you know Mike Shiner?

    Lesley : We share a vagina.

  • Jake : Ask me if he sells tickets.

    Riggan : Does he sell tickets?

    Jake : A shitload of tickets! Now ask me if the critics like him?

    Riggan : Do they like him?

    Jake : They want to spooge on him.

    Riggan : [Indicating there's a lady in the room]  Hey.

    Jake : Lesley...

    Lesley : Right on his face.

  • Jake : Get that smile off your face, you're freaking me out.

  • Jake : He has a thing for nuns... in diapers.

  • Riggan : That guy is the worst actor I've ever seen in my life. The blood coming out of his ear was the most honest thing he's done so far.

    Jake : It's not that bad.


    Jake : Okay, it was fucking terrible.

  • Jake : [to Riggan]  This isn't the 90s anymore.

  • Jake : Ralph did it, the motherfucker did it. Threatened to sue us, didn't even wait to get out of the hospital.

    Riggan : What did you say?

    Jake : What did I say? I said "Ralph, you motherfucker, are you threatening me? I swear, I so much as get a letter from a lawyer, then the press is going to get the pictures off your computer." That's what I said.

    Riggan : What pictures?

    Jake : He has a thing for nuns. In diapers. Why should you care? You shouldn't have any knowledge of that, anyway.

  • Jake : What are you doing?

    Riggan : [taking down the Birdman poster]  I can't look at this anymore.

    Jake : That was a present from the crew. Don't fuck with those guys, they're union.

    Riggan : I don't care.

  • Riggan : I don't care, sign it.

    Jake : Listen to me.

    Jake : No you listen to me...

    Riggan : I can't afford to listen to you...

    Larry : I'm gonna need to go shopping again.

    Jake : Fucking sew something, you old fuck!

    Riggan : I don't care. Give him what he wants.

    Jake : His agent is asking for almost four times what we were paying...

    Riggan : Then go into the reserve.

    Jake : The reserve is gone. You spent it on the fog. And those fake trees...

    Riggan : It's a dream sequence, it...

    Jake : And three union midgets that dance around like...

    Riggan : You're not supposed to call them midgets...

    Jake : The reserve is gone!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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