22 Jump Street (2014) Poster

Channing Tatum: Jenko



  • [from trailer] 

    Schmidt : Yo Sleepy, wus up, homie? Everyone saying that Sleepy, he like the Mexican wolverine.

    Scarface : Why you not talking?

    Jenko : My name is Jeff!

  • Captain Dickson : Gentlemen, you're not gonna sit here

    [places pistol down on desk] 

    Captain Dickson : & pretend there's not a big-ass elephant in the room.

    Jenko : [confused]  What the fuck is going on?

    Captain Dickson : [turns picture frame on desk around, revealing a photo of Maya]  *This* is what the fuck is going on!

    Jenko : [looks at the picture confused, looks at Schmidt, then back at the picture as he realizes]  OH SHIT! Oh Shit!

    [laughs hysterically at Schmidt] 

    Jenko : Oh shit! No! That is not happening right now!

    [exits office] 

    Jenko : No!

    [to coworkers, exchanging high fives] 

    Jenko : Hey ya'll he's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo! Oh my FUCK!

    Captain Dickson : [as Jenko is laughing outside office, to Schmidt]  Every time, he says that shit? That's another foot in your ass!

    Jenko : [outside office]  Schmidt! You clearly... yo, this is the best thing ever!


    Jenko : Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!


    Jenko : Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!

    Jenko : [re-enters office]  Shit! Fuck!

    [to Schmidt] 

    Jenko : You fucked Captain Dickson's daughter? Captain? What the fuck, you bragged to him to his face! To his actual face, the captain, do you understand that *this face*

    [pointing to Captain Dickson's angry face] 

    Jenko : right here! You bragged to that face!

    Jenko : [to Captain Dickson]  You actually high-fived Schmidt for fucking your daughter? Holy Shit! Oh my God, this is...

    Captain Dickson : [picks pistol up and places it back on the desk, with the barrel facing Jenko] 

    Jenko : [composing himself]  It's really not that funny.

  • Captain Dickson : Fuck a 21 Jump Street & *FUCK* a Korean Jesus!

    Jenko : [pointing across the room to the statue of Jesus]  Captain, Korean Jesus is right there!

    Captain Dickson : That's Vietnamese Jesus now. See this is a Vietnamese church, you racist sacrilegious sack of shit!

    [admiring Vietnamese Jesus] 

    Captain Dickson : Yeah, Vietnamese Jesus is just drippin' swag-goo!

  • [from trailer] 

    Captain Dickson : We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass.

    Jenko : Mmmm-hmmm.

    Schmidt : Right in the crack.

  • [last lines before end credits sequence] 

    Captain Dickson : Jenko, what are you doing, man?

    Jenko : Fuck you, Schmidt!

    Captain Dickson : Stop dicking around!

    Jenko : Hey, captain!

    Captain Dickson : Congratulations, you two. You managed to un-fuck a situation you originally already fucked up!

    Schmidt : Thanks!

    Captain Dickson : [talking to Schmidt]  I wish I could have you un-fuck my daughter, but I'ma let that be the past.

    Captain Dickson : [talking to Schmidt and Jenko]  Now, for your next mission, you two sons of bitches going to medical school!

    Jenko : What?

  • Jenko : [to bandit]  I'm your best ni... I'm your worst nightmare!

  • Schmidt : Say something cool when you throw it!

    Jenko : One, two, three!

    [throws the grenade] 

    Jenko : Something cool!

  • Schmidt : I just wanna say that it was bizarre not to share the fact that your daughter went to MC State...

    Captain Dickson : I think it's bizarre that I haven't cut your motherfuckin' nuts off.

    Jenko : [to Schmidt]  What if, Captain gets to punch you in the face, one time? Really, really, REALLY hard?

    Captain Dickson : Nah, I've got something WAY better than that.

    [cut to Captain Dickson shooting a stun gun at Schmidt's testicles] 

  • [during end credits sequence] 

    Jenko : I'm really really glad you're back, Schmidt.

    Schmidt : What are you talking about? What contract dispute? I have been here the whole time.

    Captain Dickson : Hey, shut the fuck up! How about a flight academy?

  • Schmidt : [while hanging from a helicopter]  There's a grenade in my shorts, can you reach it? Go in from underneath!

    Jenko : Oh, shit! Is that it?

    Schmidt : No, that's my dick!

    Jenko : What about that?

    Schmidt : That's my dick also!

    Jenko : Why is it hard?

    Schmidt : I'm so full of adrenalin right now!

  • Jenko : Fuck you, doves!

  • History Proffesor : Mr. McQuaid?

    Jenko : ...uh, Covalent Bonds.

  • [during end credits sequence] 

    Captain Dickson : This time, foreign exchange students!

    Schmidt : Awesome!

    Jenko : Yes!

    Captain Dickson : In Russia!

    Jenko : What?

  • Jenko : Did you get Mercedes?

    Schmidt : Yes, all by myself!

    Jenko : Really?

    Schmidt : ...Mainly by myself!

  • Schmidt : Mr. Walters, I should apologize for...

    Mr. Walters : ...for shooting my penis off? Don't sweat it, brother. I'm liberated. Totally. You know they gave me a vagina. It's awesome. You guys wanna see it?

    Jenko , Schmidt : No, no, no, no!

    Mr. Walters : Eric's seen it. Eric's been all up in that shit. Ain't that right, Eric?

    Eric Molson : You guys gotta get me the fuck out of here.

  • Jenko : It's 2014, asshole. You can't fucking use 'faggot'. 'Gay' is okay.' 'Homosexual', maybe.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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