Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)
- Spoilers (1)
Shifu: If you only do what you can do, you'll never be better than what you are.
Po: But I like who I am!
Shifu: You don't even know who you are!
Po: Who are you?
Li: I'm Li Shang. I'm looking for my son.
Po: You lost your son?
Li: Yes. Many years ago.
Po: I lost my father.
Li: I'm very sorry.
Po: Thank you.
Li: Well, good luck to you.
Po: You too. I hope you find your son.
Li: And I hope you find your father.
[they both walk off, everyone facepalms]
Kai: You must be the Dragon Warrior.
Po: And you must be Kai. Beast of vengeance, Maker of widows.
Kai: YES! Finally thank you. Almost makes me want to spare your life.
Po: Oh you want to spare me huh? How about you spare me the chit-chat alright let's do this.
Kai: I'm going to take your chi then the chi of every panda in the...
Po: Augh! chit-chat
Kai: In the...
Po: Chitty-chitty-chat-chat, chat-chat-chat!
Kai: In the...
Mantis: [they stand outside a ship run aground in a desert after Masters Bear and Croc ran in] We gotta get in there.
Crane: But Master Shifu said...
Mantis: You're seriously afraid? Even Master Chicken's going in, and he's a *chicken*!
Kai: [Kai has materialized in a vast field; two farmers cower in fear of him] What is this place?
Rabbit Villager: [uneasy] Ah... my brother's farm?
Kai: Ah. If I stepped on you, would you die?
Rabbit Villager: [both cower as the Goose lays eggs in fear] Y-yes.
Kai: The Mortal Realm.
[speaking to jade talisman of Oogway]
Kai: You hear that, Oogway? I'm back.
Kai: Kai has RETURNED!
Kai: Kai. General Kai. Supreme Warlord of all China!
Farmer Goose: I dunno.
Kai: The Jade Slayer. Master of Pain. You may know me as the Beast of Vengeance. Uh... Maker of Widows?
Farmer Goose: Huh?
Kai: [exasperated] Okay, I used to work with Oogway?
Farmer Goose: He was a great warrior!
Rabbit Villager: We've heard of Master Oogway, he's a...
Kai: [cutting their chatter] Okay, okay, enough. SILENCE!
Po: Master Shifu? Good time, bad time?
Shifu: Time is an allusion, there is only the now.
Po: So now is a... good time?
Po: Never under-estimate the impact of dramatic entrance!
[Po made a dramatic move to kick open the door, door suddenly opens, oops it's Shifu!]
Mr. Ping: Sometimes we do the wrong things for the good reasons
Oogway: [the two duel in the Spirit Realm] You've grown stronger!
Kai: Five *hundred* years in the Spirit Realm; you pick up a thing or two.
[brandishes jade amulets]
Kai: I have taken the chi of ever master here!
Oogway: [gasps] No...
Kai: [chuckles] Yes... and soon, I will have *your* power, too!
Oogway: [pleading] When will you realize the more you take, the less you have?
Crane: [Crane is flying, with Mantis on his hat] Wings of surveillance!
Mantis: Why do you do that?
Crane: Do what?
Mantis: Just 'cause you say "wings of" before something, it doesn't mean that you're doing a special move. It's like me saying "antenna of power!" or "thorax of... making sandwiches!"
Crane: Wings of disagreement.
Po: [Shifu has made a flower bloom with the power of chi] Woah! What was that?
Shifu: That was chi.
Po: Wow! What's chi?
Shifu: The energy that flows through *all* living things.
Po: So you're saying if I-so you're saying if I teach, I'll be able to do cool stuff like that?
Shifu: No, I'm saying if you teach, *I'll* be able to do cool stuff like that.
Shifu: Mastering chi requires mastery of self. Oogway sat alone in a cave for *thirty* years, asking one question: who am I? Who am I? I'm lucky if I get five minutes before you interrupt...
Po: Aw, so now I have to sit alone in a cave for thirty years?
Shifu: Eventually. After you master teaching.
Po: Teaching? There's no way I'm ever gonna be like you!
Shifu: I'm not trying to turn you into me; I'm trying to turn you into you.
Shifu: Time is just an illusion, there is only the now.
Oogway: Inner peace... inner peace.
[a flower petal falls on his nose]
Oogway: Itchy nose...
Po: [Mr. Ping has stowed away in Po's travel bag] Dad?
Li: [thinks Po is talking to him] Yes?
Po: [sternly] Dad...
[opens the bag to find Mr. Ping inside]
Mr. Ping: Yes?
Po: What are you doing here?
Mr. Ping: What am I doing? Getting a backache! Did you have to step on every rock?
Po: No, I mean why are you here ?
Mr. Ping: What was I supposed to do, huh? What if the pandas don't have food you like? You're never gonna be able to save the world on an empty stomach. I consider my presence mission critical.
Li: Oh yes, about that. We can't share the location of the village with others. So...
Mr. Ping: Oh, you think I can't keep a secret, huh? I raised Po for twenty years before I finally told him he was adopted.
Li: OK, I guess it would be cruel to make you fly back.
Po: [amazed] You can fly?
Mr. Ping: I'm a bird, Po.
Crane: Master, what are we going to do?
Shifu: *You* are going to find out where Kai is. Follow the trail of those jade creatures but do not engage For with every foe he faces Kai becomes stronger.
Crane: Why me? Is it because I asked?
Shifu: No. It is because you can fly. Go
Mantis: Should have kept your beak shut!
Shifu: And take Mantis.
Mantis: What? Oh man, is it because I...
[sees Master Flying Rhino's armor]
Po: I think I just peed a little!
Po: [leaps into a fight] Enemies of justice, prepare for...
[sees he's leapt too far and is going over them]
Po: Are you kidding me?
Mr. Ping: Your son got angry at you. Welcome to parenthood.
Shifu: I am not trying to turn you into me, I am turning you into you.
Li: [wheezing] I am your father... Why're there so many stairs?
Mr. Ping: Why is he breathing like that? It's creepy!
Li: [to Po] You must rediscover what it is to be a panda!
Po: There's no way I can stop him!
Li: Unless you had an army of your own.
Po: You don't even know kung fu!
Li: Then you will teach us.
Tigress: [to Po] Kai took the Valley, it's all gone... now he's coming for the Pandas... you MUST teach them to fight!
Li: You have to come home with me.
Po: What? To the secret village?
Li: Yes, son. You must rediscover what it is to be a panda. You have to learn how to live like a panda. Sleep like a panda. Eat like a panda. Those 103 dumplings? I was just warming up.
Po: I always knew I wasn't eating up to my full potential!
Mei Mei: Get ready to dance... with danger!
Shifu: You must take the next step on your journey, from warrior to teacher.
Po: But I'm no good at it!
Shifu: You're terrible at it!
Shifu: [searching through Oogway's scroll library] There's so much wisdom in here, I can't find anything!
Li: She was the total package: smart, beautiful, tremendous appetite
[Li reveals a secret lift to the Panda Village]
Li: We're pandas! We don't do stairs!
Po: I have waited all my life to hear those words.
Po: [dueling Kai in the Spirit Realm] You want my chi so bad? Then take it.
[Po redirects his chi to Kai]
Kai: Yes, the power is *mine*!
[as the chi fills his body, he begins to glow and his jade amulets float away]
Kai: Wait, no. It's too much. That's too much. No!
[Kai vanishes in a burst of light]
Shifu: Behold. All of the answers will be found within.
Shifu: What? It's blank? Are you kidding me? Not again.
Kai: [to Crane] Your chi is strong, just like your friend,
[brandishes Mantis talisman]
Kai: the bug.
[tries to attack Kai but is overpowered]
Kai: Don't worry, little birdie. I'll put your chi to good use: destroying the Jade Palace and *everyone* in it.
[kicks barrel at Kai, then flies off, but is caught]
Crane: Wings of... Regret!
Mantis: [as he is turned into a jade zombie] Antenna of Power! Agh, it didn't work!
Shifu: [Kai is destroying stone statues outside the Jade Palace] I will not let you destroy Oogway's memory!
Kai: Why not? He destroyed mine.
Kai: [to his jade zombies] Find Oogway's students and bring them to me.
[to jade talisman of Oogway]
Kai: By the time I am done with them, Oogway, there will be no one left who will even remember your name. Hahahaha, Kai is COMING!
Shifu: Before the battle of the fist comes the battle of the mind... then the dramatic entrance
Po: [Po is about to perform the Wuxi Finger hold on Kai] Sorry, buddy. Gotta send you back to the Spirit Realm. Skadoosh.
[flexes his pinky]
Po: OK, that didn't work. Let me try one more time. Skadoosh.
[flexes his pinky again, then over and over]
Po: Skadoosh, skadoosh, skadoosh. What the ?
Kai: Hold on, wait! It's working. No! No!
[pretends to gag, then chortles]
Kai: No, it's not. Did Oogway teach you that little trick? Too bad it only works on mortals. And *I* am a Spirit Warrior.
Mr. Ping: It doesn't mean less for me... it means more for Po.
Shifu: The student has truly become the tea - Wait. Where did you get that?
Po: Oh, this. Oogway gave it to me in the spirit realm.
Shifu: Ugh, of course he did.
Po: I think I mastered Chi.
Shifu: Oh, of course you did. Can you teach me?
Li: Well done, son!
[Po smiles, and guides everyone to flow their chi]
Lei Lei: [Lei Lei discovers Po's action figure of Tigress] Oh stripy baby, so beautiful!
Po: Oh! Okay, careful with that, that's my action figure!
Lei Lei: Can I keep her? Can I?
[Lei Lei starts to get sad as if she's ready to cry; Po has a change of heart and decides to let Lei Lei have his Tigress action figure]
Po: ...problem, of course! Yeah, that's why I brought her; take good care of her.
Lei Lei: Yes, stripy baby!
[Lei Lei giggles as she plays with the Tigress action figure]
Kai: Who are you?
Po: I've been asking myself that question. Am I the son of a panda? The son of a goose? A student? A teacher? I'm all of those things.
[Po's chi forms the shape of a dragon around him]
Po: I am the Dragon Warrior! Get it? You see the giant dragon?