Barney Stinson: Oh, go on honey. Kiss him
Narrator: Ummm, Uncle Barney didn't say kiss.
Barney Stinson: Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!...
Narrator: Still not saying kiss.
Usher: Sir, you need to leave. Now.
Barney Stinson: This is outrageous! Who the kiss are you?
Jed Moseley: [Repeated line] No-can-do's-ville, baby doll.
Barney Stinson: There's only one street where that is normal. Here's a hint: a big, yellow bird lives on it.
Ted Mosby: Royce!
Tony Grafanello: Stella!
Stella Zinman: Tony!
Jed Moseley: Tony?
Barney Stinson: Ted?
Ted Mosby: Barney?
Barney Stinson: Baggage is the cornerstone of America's greatest national product.
Barney Stinson: Actually, it's porn. No women works in porn without having major baggage.
Lily Aldrin: Sorry, Ted, you're screwed.
Marshall Eriksen: No! You know what? Ted is not screwed. Do you guys wanna know why I'm always nice to everyone? It's because I don't care about baggage. I mean, most people, they see a person walking down the street with that big, heavy bag they're carrying, and they just walk on by. But not me. I look at them, and I say... I say: "Howdy, stranger. Can I give you a hand with that?" And do you know who taught me to be that way? A guy called Ted Mosby.
[uplifting music starts playing]
Marshall Eriksen: A guy who's uncynical and sincere and believed in things. And you know what, Ted? I believe that deep down, you're still that guy!
Ted Mosby: [dramatically excited] I am still that guy.
Marshall Eriksen: [pep talking] I think you wanna go out there and get that girl!
Ted Mosby: I do wanna go out there and get that girl!
Marshall Eriksen: Because she's the love of your life!
Ted Mosby: Because she's...!
[music stops playing in a beat, and Ted calms down for a minute]
Ted Mosby: Well, okay. Let's, uh... We're three dates in. She seems nice.
Marshall Eriksen: Because she seems nice!
[music starts playing again, and Ted stands up, back to being dramatically excited]
Ted Mosby: She does seem nice! You're right, Marshall. I gotta go get her. And I know exactly where she is.
Ted Mosby: This doof in the red cowboy boots, this isn't me!
Barney Stinson: So just to be clear,you are saying that you don't have a pear of red cowboy boots in your closet ?
Ted Mosby: That movie sucks, and your all stupid for liking it.
Royce: Ted, I think you owe us an apology.
Ted Mosby: No-can-do's-ville, baby doll. No-can-do's... ville.
Ted Mosby: That's it. I'll have to move to another country, one where they're not showing "The Wedding Bride".
Robin Scherbatsky: Good luck, Ted. That movie has gone worldwide. It's huge.
Lily Aldrin: Maybe North Korea.
Robin Scherbatsky: No, I heard Kim Jong Il saw it and it's his second favorite movie, right behind one of him running in slow motion in a field of turnips.