Stan Smith: I guess I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie-daisys.
Roger: Ah, I love your religion - for the crazy! Virgin birth, water into wine; it's like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music.
Stan Smith: God pays twice as much attention on Christmas, like the media when a white kid goes missing.
Roger: Ascent! You're flying now! I hope I haven't missed the part where the three Chinese guys give perfume to the star baby.
Roger: It's like the diaries of a madman!
Francine Smith: [while watching everyone ascend] What's going on?
Father Donovan: It's the Rapture. Turns out there really IS a God.
Stan Smith: We can't use the open road. It's too dangerous.
Jesus Christ: What if we journey through Sector 16?
Stan Smith: Sector 16? The perfect man just proposed the perfect way to die.
Jesus Christ: Fine. What about Sector 35?
Stan Smith: Sector 35 makes Sector 16 look like Sector 48!