"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" The D.E.N.N.I.S. System (TV Episode 2009) Poster

Kaitlin Olson: Dee Reynolds


  • Dee Reynolds : Oh shit, Ben, look - a carnie.

    [puts arms around carnie] 

    Dee Reynolds : So I wonder if there's a kissing booth anywhere close.

    [the carnie stabs her] 

    Dee Reynolds : Oww! Ohh you stabbed me! He stabbed me with a key!

  • Dennis Reynolds : You're gonna wanna nurture that dependence that she's feeling on you now, guys. Have her car towed, or you could slash her tires. Either way, make her depend on you for rides. Or you can use my personal go-to, which is to create a fictional angry neighbor who's threatening her and tell her you'll take care of 'em. Hit up a payphone so that she can't trace the calls back to you, give her a call and say something along the lines of, "I'm watching you, you bitch. You're gonna die tonight!"

    Dee Reynolds : Oh for Christ's sake, you're a complete sociopath!

    Dennis Reynolds : Don't interrupt.

See also

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