Dr. James Wilson: Sounds like you had fun last night.
Dr. Gregory House: You believe Chase?
Dr. James Wilson: I believe Foreman. And they had fun with you. What happened?
Dr. Gregory House: I realized they could be my friends.
Dr. James Wilson: You're serious?
Dr. Gregory House: And then I sobered up.
Dr. Gregory House: He can't tell his fiancee he's gay, how's he gonna tell her he's pregnant?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I just want us to be friends.
Dr. Gregory House: Funny. That's the last thing I want us to be.
Dr. Gregory House: That's nothing. I woke up in the wrong bed this morning.
Nurse Jeffrey Sparkman: Any bed you wake up in is the wrong one.
Dr. Gregory House: That's not what your momma said. Oh snap!
Dr. Robert Chase: If history is written by the victor, how do we find out what really happened?
Dr. Gregory House: Talk to the loser.
Theodore Taylor: I'm not gay.
Dr. Gregory House: Really? Because it would certainly explain the cold feet. Oh and the boyfriend.
Dr. Gregory House: It's not going to work though.
Dr. James Wilson: Maybe, but how bad can a night out at a lesbian bar be?
Thirteen - Dr. Hadley: Yeah, it sucks what he's doing to her too. But it's hardly the same. To be faithful to his wife, our patient has to deny his identity. Taub just needs to...
Dr. Gregory House: Resist his biological imperative.
Thirteen - Dr. Hadley: It is easier to say no to dessert than to pretend you don't eat.
Dr. Gregory House: Says someone who's obviously never been on a diet.
Dr. Robert Chase: Just like most straight marriages. He's got the right to life liberty and unhappiness - like the rest of us.
Dr. Gregory House: A distracted person makes for a distracted professional.
Dr. Chris Taub: And destroying my marriage will help me focus?
Dr. Gregory House: Probably... Do a spinal tap, run the CSF.
[Taub starts to leave]
Dr. Gregory House: Still talking about you. But you can do it on the patient.
Dr. Robert Chase: We don't want to do it either. But Wilson already paid us.
Dr. Gregory House: It's gonna suck.
Dr. Robert Chase: I know.
Dr. Gregory House: Where and when?