Hugh Laurie: E.B.'s Dad
E.B. : Look, Dad.
E.B. : Ever since I was yea big, it's been, "The Easter Bunny wouldn't do that" and "The Easter Bunny has to be perfect." But... Ha! I'm not perfect!
E.B.'s Dad : I know that, Son. But you'll get there, eventually.
E.B. : But I'm... Listen. You want me to be this.
[holds an egg]
E.B. : But maybe I'm not this. Just maybe, maybe I'm this.
[grabs a sock]
E.B.'s Dad : A sock?
[sniffs and gets disgusted]
E.B. : Yeah, that's right. I might be a metaphorical sock. I might not be a good enough egg, but I might be the best sock ever! I might not cut it delivering Easter baskets, but I might be great at something else.
E.B.'s Dad : Oh, the drums. Why, I think that's fine! I think it's really nice that you have a hobby. Everyone should have a hobby.
E.B. : It's not a hobby, Dad.
[pulls his ears]
E.B. : I wanna drum in a band. I wanna see the world
[spins globe around]
E.B.'s Dad : E.B., the Easter Bunny sees the world. Every country in one night, making people of the world happy.
E.B. : Oh-oh, really, Dad? The whole world? What about China?
[places finger on China]
E.B.'s Dad : [Chinese woman throws Easter basket yelling in Mandarin] No! Look, it's candy, woman!
[Chinese Woman shoos E.B's Dad away]
E.B.'s Dad : Madam, please.
[switches back to E.B's room]
E.B.'s Dad : All right. So, we haven't cracked China yet. But, for all those who do believe, you will be there.
E.B. : No, Dad. I don't want to be the Easter Bunny.
E.B.'s Dad : Now, listen to me. Four thousand years of tradition doesn't end just because one selfish bunny doesn't feel like doing it.
E.B. : Look. Dad...
E.B.'s Dad : No, E.B., you look! You are going to be the Easter Bunny! Now you need to get it together, get rid of these drums, and get your priorities straight! I'll see you out there!
[closes bedroom door]
E.B. : [behind E.B's Dad's back] No, I don't think you will.