"Smallville" Identity (TV Episode 2008) Poster

(TV Series)


Erica Durance: Lois Lane



  • Lois Lane : I'm gonna use my expert tracking skills and find this camera shy superhero.

    Clark Kent : Really? Good luck with that.

    Lois Lane : Mark my words, Clark Kent. I won't stop until I land the first worldwide exclusive interview. Watch me.

  • Clark Kent : I heard about your date last night. Ended with a thud. I'm sorry I didn't get your phone call till it was all over.

    Lois Lane : I wasn't on a date, Smallville. I was deep undercover on a dinner with a psychopath.

    Clark Kent : Sounds like your type.

  • Sebastian Kane : Have you ever had your palms read?

    Lois Lane : I don't do too well with fortune-tellers. The last one I went to see told me that I was destined to fall for a guy who flies a lot and likes to wear tights. So I'm just waiting for my cross-dressing pilot to make his landing.

  • Lois Lane : Any big investigations? You know, where you went deep undercover with a drug lord or crime family or maximum-security prison?

    Sebastian Kane : Okay, bullets flying over my head is one thing, but stick me in a tiny, little cell, no, thank you. Claustrophobia's a bitch.

    Lois Lane : So, you've never, you know, seen the inside of a big government facility? 'Cause that would be a great exposé waiting to happen.

    Sebastian Kane : You want to hear about the last time I was in a big government facility? I think I was in high school. That's about as close to prison as it gets.

  • Lois Lane : I write news stories, not fairy tales. Especially ones about mythical saviors that no one's ever seen.

    Jimmy Olsen : Look, I may not have a name or a face to connect him with. But I am telling you, this stealth crime fighter is as real as it gets.

    Lois Lane : Well, the only stealth crime fighter I know about wears green leather and plays with arrows. And I think he's hung up his bow.

    Jimmy Olsen : Lois, this guy is light years beyond bows and arrows. Trust me, this is the kind of story that careers are made of.

    Lois Lane : Well, without a photo, that story is about as relevant as a five-part exposé on the tooth fairy.

    Jimmy Olsen : I bet you Clark won't feel that way after I pitch him the story over dinner tonight.

    Lois Lane : Oh, Clark is coming to dinner with us?

    Jimmy Olsen : Yeah, I had a feeling you were too much of a cynic for such an uplifting piece. But, hey, you know, C.K. will be all over this.

    Lois Lane : I wouldn't be so sure. As shocking as it might seem, Smallville is no hack.

    Jimmy Olsen : Wait a minute, did I just hear you give Clark Kent a compliment?

  • Sebastian Kane : I'm Sebastian Kane, new City reporter.

    [shaking hands, he sees a memory of her on the phone] 

    Lois Lane : Well, if you like covering robbery and homicide, you've come to the right place. The crime rate's so high, there's actually a "no vacancy" sign in front of county jail.

  • Clark Kent : Where you going all dressed up?

    Lois Lane : Little thing called a date. I know you're fresh off the farm, but sometimes when a guy likes a girl, he asks her out.

    Clark Kent : I know what a date is. So, who's the unlucky guy?

    Lois Lane : [giving him a sarcastic smile]  New reporter. Started work at the Planet today. Unlike a lot of new hires, he's actually a serious journalist.

    Clark Kent : You just met him today?

    Lois Lane : I know. The sparks were flying everywhere. I'm surprised the bullpen didn't burn right down.

  • Lois Lane : I swear. Ask anyone. I know how to keep a secret.

    Sebastian Kane : You recognized me at the Daily Planet.

    Lois Lane : And I can just as easily forget. I have a terrible memory. You can trust me.

    Sebastian Kane : [taking the flash drive]  There's one thing you learn when you get locked up in a cage for four years. That is, you don't... trust... anybody.

  • Jimmy Olsen : I'm so sorry, C.K.

    Clark Kent : Congratulations, Jimmy.

    Jimmy Olsen : To think that I just about pulled you out of a closet you weren't even in. I feel terrible.

    Clark Kent : Don't feel too bad. Actually, I'm honored you thought I could move with lightning speed.

    Jimmy Olsen : Well, you might not be superhuman, Clark. But there's a reason that I thought you were the Good Samaritan.

    Clark Kent : Why's that, 'cause I buy Girl Scout cookies twice a year?

    Jimmy Olsen : Seriously, C.K., you're the kind of guy that people can count on. Whether it's your friends or strangers... you're always there for them. That's rare.

    Lois Lane : [rolling in as Jimmy leaves]  What's rare? A pen that works in this place?

  • Lois Lane : Well, then, thanks for dinner. Now you'll be able to make it across town without a tour book in your hand.

    Sebastian Kane : Hey, you said you had that extra transit map. Why don't I come up and get it? We can have a nightcap.

    Lois Lane : I like nightcaps, but unfortunately, I'm on a lethal deadline. I have to proofread a 5,000-worder due at dawn.

    Sebastian Kane : I'm a hell of a speller. Why don't I come up and give you a hand?

    Lois Lane : Thanks, but, uh, spell-check is actually my best friend. See ya manana.

    [as she heads to her apartment, she's attacked from behind] 

    Sebastian Kane : [holding her at gunpoint]  No one can know who I am. I need that flash drive.

  • Sebastian Kane : So, there's bombs going off everywhere. The soldier next to me gets shot. So the lieutenant turns to me, grabs my notebook, Frisbees it out the Humvee window, and sticks an M16 in my hand.

    Lois Lane : Wait a minute. I thought you said your notebook made it all the way to Baghdad and back.

    Sebastian Kane : It did. Once the smoke cleared, I walked about a mile and a half to go find it.

See also

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