"The Office" Crime Aid (TV Episode 2008) Poster

(TV Series)


Steve Carell: Michael Scott


  • Michael Scott : It squeaks when you bang it. That's what she said.

  • Michael Scott : And welcome to Crime Aid. "Crime reduces innocence, makes everyone angry, I declare."

  • Michael Scott : [sees office in disarray]  Oh my god, what happened?

    Jim Halpert : We were robbed last night.

    Dwight Schrute : Bravo, Watson. Looks like a classic seven-man job. Okay, security tapes were stolen. Motives: financial, or possibly vintage HP computer collectors. Hank down at security had clocked out... and that's all we have.

  • Oscar Martinez : So, in order to recoup the value of items we liked, we have to spend more money on things we don't want.

    Angela Martin : Who would *ever* come to this?

    Michael Scott : I don't know, it could be any number of people. It could be a pedestrian. It could be... uh, old person. I could be a looky-loo. Or, it could be... a Bruce Springsteen fan. What? Who said that? I did. Why did I say that? Oh, I think you know why I said that. I think it is very apparent. I think it goes, without saying... Bear with me. There's a point there. But what is the point? I don't understand what he's saying. It seems a little shady, it seems a little foggy. Well, it's not a little foggy. There's really something going on...

    Jim Halpert : [interrupts]  Do you need us for any of this?

    Michael Scott : ...Do I?

  • Michael Scott : In my opinion, the third date is traditionally the one where you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me, I'll know for sure.

  • Michael Scott : So when can I see you again?

    Holly Flax : Tonight, I'm free tonight. Is that too eager? I don't care, I'm free tonight.

    Michael Scott : Ok. Oh wait, oh, tonight's no good. Because I'm busy taking you out.

    Holly Flax : Oh I just remembered, I can't tonight.

    Michael Scott : Why?

    Holly Flax : I'm going out with you.

    Michael Scott : Wow! Oh, wait a second. Oh, I can't tonight. What... no? Ok, too many times.

  • Phyllis Vance : [about Crime Aid, the charity auction]  I think it's a fun idea.

    Michael Scott : Thank you!

    Phyllis Vance : We could auction all things that we do for each other, like cleaning or tennis lessons, my sorority did it all the time.

    Michael Scott : Ok, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Was this a sorority that you didn't get into, a real sororities so you had to kind of form your own?

    Phyllis Vance : Move on, Michael.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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