Ubuntu feels untalented until he is recruited for the football team. His success as left tackle brings out Helen's long-repressed football hysteria. Gerald and Ubuntu clash with the football culture, especially when the boosters want to kill a pig that represents the opposing team. Ubuntu stays on the team only when they agree not to kill the pig. Bliss schemes for a college scholarship to avoid being trapped going to Greenville Community College, but finds the only way she might qualify for a scholarship is to take a college class at GCC. She tries it but then wigs out in the first class and pulls the fire alarm to escape. Her dream comes true when she is banned from GCC for life.