Meet Dave (2008)
Eddie Murphy: Dave, Captain
Dave : Welcome to Old Navy.
Gina Morrison : [Dave is looking at a picture of Gina's late husband.] Captain?
Dave : Yes?
Gina Morrison : That's my husband. He was a captain with the Navy.
Dave : I am a captain.
Gina Morrison : Really? A captain of what?
[Inside the ship, Number 3 looks something up.]
Dave : I am a captain of crunch.
[in an alley outside Gina's apartment sometime after she hits Dave with her car]
Gina Morrison : Hi, are you all right? Because you just ran off!
Captain : Contact, everyone! Our first verbal encounter!
Captain : Thank you for your concern.
Dave : [speaks with extremely high pitch; bottles explode in background]
Captain : It's way too high! More bass!
Dave : [speaks in extremely low pitch]
Captain : Level the frequency!
Dave : [speaking perfectly] I'm all better now.
Josh : [to Gina] How hard did you hit this guy?
Gina Morrison : I'm Gina, by the way. Gina Morrison.
[pauses, waiting for him to tell her his name.]
Gina Morrison : And you are?
Captain : 3?
No. 3 - Cultural Officer : This is a list of the most common names on this planet.
Captain : My name is...
Dave : Ming Chang.
Gina Morrison : Ming Chang?
Gina Morrison : Sorry, sorry, you just struck me more like a "Dave" or something.
Dave : Which happens to be my other name.
Gina Morrison : Dave...Ming Chang?
Dave : Dave Ming Chang.
Captain : Number 3, do we have significant linguistic information to communicate with these natives?
No. 3 - Cultural Officer : Yes, I tapped into their central planetary database named "Google."
Captain : What a frivolous name for such a vital function.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer : Well, if you prefer, there's another called "Ya Hoo."
Captain : Baffling!
Gina Morrison : Dave, I feel just terrible about this whole thing...uh, and I was gonna have some breakfast. Would you like to join me?
Dave : No, I really have to be going now.
Gina Morrison : Are you sure? I mean, I sort of have a rule that when I hit somebody with my car, I need to make them breakfast!
[she laughs, Dave doesn't.]
Gina Morrison : That was a joke.
Dave : [blankly] Hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahaha ahaha ha hahahahahahahaha. Woo-hoo, woo!
Gina Morrison : So, where are you from? Do you live around here?
Dave : Yes, of course. I am just a regular person from right here on Earth, just like you. I just don't get out that much.
Gina Morrison : Yeah, judging from your suit, I'd say since about 1978.
Captain : Note: all-white apparel is not as standardized as we thought.
Gina Morrison : [laughing] You late for a Bee Gees concert or something?
Dave : Bee Gees. Barry, Robin and Maurice. The brothers Gibb. Winning ten Grammy Awards and selling over 100 million records.
Dave : [high-pitched, fast singing] Well, you can tell by the way I can use my walk / I'm a woman's man, no time to talk / Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh, Stayin' Alive / Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
No. 3 - Cultural Officer : I didn't think we'd make it out of there, Captain. Good thing you have such big feet.
Captain : We'll have much to explain when we return home.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer : We'll find another way to save Nil. There are plenty of worlds out there for us to explore.
Captain : Yes, Number 3. But what we learned on Earth is more valuable than all the salt in the galaxy. And when we do return, it looks like I'll be needing a new Number 2.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer : I think you'll be needing more than that.
[they kiss; the crew cheers]
Captain : Cue the new anthem.
Dave : We have got to get out of here.
Captain : [after getting knocked out by a baseball and is shocked with a defibrillator] Power has been restored!
Captain : [after getting "knocked out" by a baseball and is hit with a defibrillator ] Power has been restored!