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"The West Wing" Noël (TV Episode 2000) Poster

(TV Series)

(2000)

Quotes

Showing all 14 items

Leo McGarry: [after Josh finishes an intensive therapy session set up by Leo with a trauma therapist, Josh walks past Leo in a nearby hallway of the White House] How'd it go?

Josh Lyman: Did you wait around for me?

Leo McGarry: How'd it go?

Josh Lyman: He thinks I may have an eating disorder...

Leo McGarry: [bemused] Josh...

Josh Lyman: ...and a fear of rectangles. That's not weird, is it?

[pause]

Josh Lyman: I didn't cut my hand on a glass. I broke a window in my apartment.

Leo McGarry: This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."

[pause]

Leo McGarry: Long as I got a job, you got a job, you understand?

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Josh Lyman: Why would the music have started it?

Stanley Keworth: Well, I know it's going to sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of potatoes, but at this moment, in your head, music is the same thing as...

Josh Lyman: ...as sirens. So that's going to be my reaction every time I hear music?

Stanley Keworth: No.

Josh Lyman: Why not?

Stanley Keworth: Because... we get better.

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Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: You see, you try very hard to be mean, but you see that being nice is better.

Bernard Thatch: You're a freakishly tall woman.

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Josh Lyman: I don't need a doctor.

Donna Moss: Are you a doctor?

Josh Lyman: No.

Donna Moss: Then be quiet.

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Bernard Thatch: C.J., your necklace is a monument to bourgeois taste.

Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Thank you.

Bernard Thatch: You're welcome.

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Stanley Keworth: Let's start again.

Josh Lyman: You gonna lie to me this time?

Stanley Keworth: No. You gonna lie to me?

Josh Lyman: Haven't yet.

Stanley Keworth: Really?

Josh Lyman: Yeah.

Stanley Keworth: How'd you cut your hand?

Josh Lyman: [thinks about the question, but doesn't respond]

Stanley Keworth: You're not talking to the paperboy either, Josh.

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Stanley Keworth: [Prompting him] Josh.

Josh Lyman: I was fine.

Stanley Keworth: [Not believing] Josh.

Josh Lyman: It was the Bach, G Major.

Stanley Keworth: That's a nice piece.

Josh Lyman: It is.

Stanley Keworth: Did he play it well?

Josh Lyman: It's Yo-Yo Ma.

Stanley Keworth: I've never heard him in person.

Josh Lyman: It's really... It's really quite something.

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Charlie Young: Christmas cards.

President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: How many am I sending out?

Charlie Young: One million, one hundred and ten thousand.

[... ]

Charlie Young: There are about a thousand names on the First Family's list, then there are about a hundred thousand campaign workers and contributors.

President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: Who are the other million?

Charlie Young: You send a Christmas card to everyone who writes a letter to the White House.

President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: I do?

Charlie Young: Yes sir. And somewhere around a million people wrote you letters this year.

President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: Okay, but some of those were death threats.

Charlie Young: They've weeded those out.

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Stanley Keworth: I swear, I am completely unimpressed with clever answers.

Josh Lyman: And I was so hoping we'd have a second day.

Stanley Keworth: [pause] You're in nine kinds of pain. You don't even know what's going on inside of you. And you are so locked into damage control that you can't...

Josh Lyman: You diagnosed me in eight hours?

Stanley Keworth: Josh, I diagnosed you in five minutes.

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Josh Lyman: You're not going to understand it.

Stanley Keworth: I'm a fairly well-educated guy.

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Bernard Thatch: Cailloux was a contemporary of Courbet, who was considerably more gifted. This is a painting of the cliffs at Entretat, cleverly titled "The Cliffs at Entretat." It is a minor work

Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: What's it doing here?

Bernard Thatch: It was on loan from the Musee d'Orsay to the National Gallery. The President, on a visit to the National Gallery, and possessing even less taste in fine art than you have in accessories, announced that he liked the painting. The French government offered it as a gift to the White House, I suppose in retribution for EuroDisney. So here it hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod.

Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: You're a snob!

Bernard Thatch: Yes.

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Stanley Keworth: [Josh is realizing music makes him relive the shooting] What happened then?

Josh Lyman: I couldn't make it stop...

[cut to scene of Josh starting to have an episode]

Josh Lyman: I couldn't make it stop...

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Josh Lyman: All the same, I need some more therapy.

Stanley Keworth: Oh, you're gonna get some.

Josh Lyman: I mean now!

Stanley Keworth: [making his way out] Merry Christmas, Josh.

Josh Lyman: We could order pizza.

Stanley Keworth: [chuckles] Have a good night.

Josh Lyman: Stanley, I haven't told you my dreams yet!

Stanley Keworth: [now down the hall] Fax 'em over to me.

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Sam Seaborn: So I spoke to Jesse Witt at Energy.

Josh Lyman: Yeah?

Sam Seaborn: I dressed her down pretty good.

Josh Lyman: They're not going to get us to change our policy on the SPR by announcing we should change our policy.

Sam Seaborn: I know. I told her that. I told her that in no uncertain terms.

Josh Lyman: And?

Sam Seaborn: I think we should change our policy.

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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