Homer Simpson : [chops down a door a la The Shining] Heeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!
[there's no one in the room]
Homer Simpson : D'oh!
[chops down another door]
Homer Simpson : Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavid Letterman!
Grandpa Simpson : Hi, David, I'm Grampa.
Homer Simpson : D'oh!
[chops down another door and holds a stopwatch]
Homer Simpson : I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes!
Lisa : Bart, does it strike you as odd that Uter disappeared and suddenly they're serving us this mysterious food called "Uterbraten"?
Principal Skinner : Oh relax kids, I've got a gut feeling Uter's around here somewhere hahahahaha, after all isn't there a little Uter in all of us? hahahaha... hahaha, in fact, you might even say we just ate Uter, and he's in our stomachs... right now! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Wait, scratch that one.
Lisa Simpson : Dad, look!
[holds TV up]
Homer Simpson : Television! Teacher, mother...
Homer Simpson : [lustily] ... secret lover. Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading - rising! Fading... fading... gone.
Homer Simpson : Come, family. sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow.
[Hours later, everyone is frozen]
man introducing Tony Awards : [on TV] Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden!
Bart Simpson : [with difficulty] Homer... change channel.
Homer Simpson : Can't! Frozen!
[music on TV: "One chorus line of people...?]
Homer Simpson : [family screams]
Homer Simpson : Urge to kill... rising...
Lisa : Mom! Mom! You gotta help! They're cooking kids in the school cafeteria!
Marge Simpson : Listen, kids - you're eight and ten years old now; I can't be fighting all your battles for you.
Bart Simpson : But, mom!
Marge Simpson : Nobuts! You march right back to that school, look them straight in the eye and say 'Don't eat me'.
Marge : [Bart awakens from a nightmare] Relax, honey. You were just having a crazy nightmare. You're back home with your family now, where there's nothing to be afraid of... except that fog that turns people inside out.
Bart : Huh?
Homer : [the fog starts coming in] Uh-oh, it's seeping in. STUPID CHEAP WEATHER STRIPPING!
[everyone screams as the fog turns them inside out; then they stop screaming, looking at each other. Music plays, and they start dancing and singing]
Groundskeeper Willie : [Willy, also turned inside out, jumps on stage] Too...!
Marge , Bart , Homer , Lisa , Groundskeeper Willie : Many dancing people, covered in blood, gore, and glop!/Just one sniff of that fog and you're inside out!/It's worse than that flesh-eating virus you've read about!/Vital organs, they are what we're dressed in, the family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine!/Happy Halloween!
Homer Simpson : [Homer is slowly being driven mad by the lack of beer and TV at the lodge] I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you!
Marge Simpson : Homer!
Homer Simpson : Sorry. Sorry. Don't worry. There's plenty I can do to keep myself occupied. Maybe I'll check out that axe collection?
[he leaves the kitchen but then pokes his head around the door jamb with a sinister smile]
Homer Simpson : See ya later.
Lisa Simpson : Mom, is Dad gonna' kill us?
Marge Simpson : [not too concerned yet] We're just gonna' have to wait and see.