"The Simpsons" Treehouse of Horror V (TV Episode 1994) Poster

(TV Series)


Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson


  • Homer Simpson : [chops down a door a la The Shining]  Heeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!

    [there's no one in the room] 

    Homer Simpson : D'oh!

    [chops down another door] 

    Homer Simpson : Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavid Letterman!

    Grandpa Simpson : Hi, David, I'm Grampa.

    Homer Simpson : D'oh!

    [chops down another door and holds a stopwatch] 

    Homer Simpson : I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes!

    Marge Simpson , Bart Simpson , Lisa Simpson : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

  • Homer Simpson : Well, what do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of... No TV and no beer make Homer something, something.

    Marge : Go crazy?

    Homer Simpson : Don't mind if I do!

    [goes crazy] 

  • [Marge enters a large room, with a typewriter in the middle] 

    Marge Simpson : Homer? Homey?

    [sees the typewriter] 

    Marge Simpson : Hum, what he's typing will be a window into his madness.

    [approaches the typewriter and reads:] 

    Marge Simpson : 'Feelin' fine.' Well, that's a relief.

    [Lightning flashes and illuminates the room, showing "NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY" scrawled again and again all over the walls in wild letters] 

    Marge Simpson : Mmm... this is less encouraging.

  • Marge : [on radio]  Husband on murderous rampage. Send help. Over.

    Chief Wiggum : Whew, thank God that's over. I was worried for a little bit.

  • [Marge drags an unconscious Homer into the cellar] 

    Marge Simpson : You stay here until you're no longer insane!

    [turns to the shelves] 

    Marge Simpson : Hmm, chili would be good tonight.

  • Lisa : Mom! Mom! You gotta help! They're cooking kids in the school cafeteria!

    Marge Simpson : Listen, kids - you're eight and ten years old now; I can't be fighting all your battles for you.

    Bart Simpson : But, mom!

    Marge Simpson : Nobuts! You march right back to that school, look them straight in the eye and say 'Don't eat me'.

  • Marge Simpson : [emerges from behind a curtain]  Hello, once again. As usual, I must warn you that this year's Halloween show is very, very scary, and those of you with young children may want to send them off to bed, a...

    [someone hands her a note, which she reads] 

    Marge Simpson : Oh, my. It seems the show is so scary, that Congress won't even let us show it. Instead, they've suggested the 1941 Glenn Ford movie, "200 Miles to Oregon".

    [a scene from the movie plays and then is cut off with a flash. The flash then turns into a speech waveform] 

    Bart Simpson : There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust your picture. *We* are controlling the transmission.

    Homer Simpson : What's that, boy? We're in control? Hey, look! I can see my voice!

    [chuckles, and begins vocalizing to experiment with the waveform] 

    Homer Simpson : Brrrrrr! Hee! Heeee! Blub-blub-blub-blub-blub! This. Is-my-voice. On Tee-Vee...!

    Bart Simpson : DAD! You're ruining the mood!

    Homer Simpson : Sorry.

    Bart Simpson : For the next half-hour, we will control what you see and hear. You are about to experience the terror and foul horror of...

    [the waveform morphs into outline of the family] 

    Bart Simpson : The Simpsons Halloween Special.

  • Marge : [Bart awakens from a nightmare]  Relax, honey. You were just having a crazy nightmare. You're back home with your family now, where there's nothing to be afraid of... except that fog that turns people inside out.

    Bart : Huh?

    Homer : [the fog starts coming in]  Uh-oh, it's seeping in. STUPID CHEAP WEATHER STRIPPING!

    [everyone screams as the fog turns them inside out; then they stop screaming, looking at each other. Music plays, and they start dancing and singing] 

    Marge , Bart , Homer , Lisa : One chorus line of people, dancing till they make us stop!

    Groundskeeper Willie : [Willy, also turned inside out, jumps on stage]  Too...!

    Marge , Bart , Homer , Lisa , Groundskeeper Willie : Many dancing people, covered in blood, gore, and glop!/Just one sniff of that fog and you're inside out!/It's worse than that flesh-eating virus you've read about!/Vital organs, they are what we're dressed in, the family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine!/Happy Halloween!

  • Homer Simpson : [Homer is slowly being driven mad by the lack of beer and TV at the lodge]  I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you!

    Marge Simpson : Homer!

    Homer Simpson : Sorry. Sorry. Don't worry. There's plenty I can do to keep myself occupied. Maybe I'll check out that axe collection?

    [he leaves the kitchen but then pokes his head around the door jamb with a sinister smile] 

    Homer Simpson : See ya later.

    Lisa Simpson : Mom, is Dad gonna' kill us?

    Marge Simpson : [not too concerned yet]  We're just gonna' have to wait and see.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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