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"Saturday Night Live" Matthew McConaughey/Dixie Chicks (TV Episode 2003) Poster

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Whale Protestor: [shouting during anti-war rally] Then, legalize porn!

Protest Leader: Sir, it is legal... okay?

Whale Protestor: Not the kind I like...

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Joseph Jackson: Ooh! One time... I mean, one time, I was sleeping on my own gold-plated La-Z-Boy chair, LaToya and Michael peeped over the headrest at me, and I thought for a minute I was being attacked by glow-in-the-dark vampire bats! I would like to say, I almost crapped my drawers!

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