No cold opening. In her monologue, the host Madonna talks about her and Sean Penn's recent secretive wedding and shows mockumentary clips from it. Hell beer commercial carries a warning for the soul. The Reagans spend a quiet evening with Prince Charles and Lady Di at the White House but tongues get loose after a few drinks and Nancy gets frisky. The musical guest Simple Minds perform their song Alive and Kicking. Twitchy street fences Jones & Jones offer the best cheapest goods in town. Dennis Miller makes his first appearance as the anchorperson on the Weekend Update. He comments on the USSR's paranoid reaction to Halley's Comet, the US and USSR's peace talks, Georgia's ironic anti-gay law, Ferdinand Marcos hold over the Philippines elections, the passing of Orson Welles, the new way to throw away the garbage, Libya, the Palestinian PLO and Jehovah's Witnesses clash, clinical death record, the Beatrice Company expansion, Louis Farrakhan's similarities to Pee-wee Herman, the ironic ...
Did You Know?
During the "Pinklisting" sketch, a stage light fell into an empty pool that was on the set, causing Terry Sweeney
to scream and nearly fall out of his chair. See more
When will you understand that I am a person? That I am not some thing... that I am me, a person, and not just some thing. That you can't treat me like some thing. Because I am not a thing. I am a person, so treat me like a person and not a thing, because that is what I am. A person. Me.
[buries her face against Ronald Reagan's broad chest
Well, that pretty much says it all.
[stands up, walks to Diana
Oh darling, you poor thing.
In the original airing, the cold opening featured NBC executive Brandon Tartikoff
stating that urine drug tests will be given to the new cast members. This sketch was cut from all subsequent reruns. See more
Three Times a Lady
Written by Lionel Richie
Performed by Madonna See more