Brian Potter: What's the matter with you man?
Jerry 'St. Clair' Dignan: What's the matter with me? I'll tell you what's the matter with me. My first week as licensee. I'm stood here looking like a gay Satan cos' somebody's sold all me clothes ont' jumble, I've been rolled round the car park all day dressed as a hernia and I've got 12 people in casualty with rubber burns.
Brian Potter: Rubber burns? Isn't he a Scottish poet?