"President Nixon would have been here, but he's being roasted himself right now"
Longtime Republican senator Barry Goldwater was the first of two politicians to be roasted during the 1973 season, and like Hubert Humphrey, was a losing candidate for President during the previous decade. Fellow WW2 Air Force pilot William Conrad pays tribute to Goldwater's distinguished record as a Major General, laying waste to 11 major cities: "and then he went overseas." Norm Crosby has a trenchant comment about government and the people: "if you don't pitch in and do your part, and we here in Washington don't pitch in and do our part, then pretty soon we won't have a part to pitch in!" Steve Landesberg portrays Goldwater's nephew, Democrat Bubba Lee of Halfstaff, Arizona, who remembers his uncle advising him to follow in his footsteps: "but Uncle Barry, I want to win!" 'Token liberal' Carroll O'Connor is followed by Oscar winner William Holden, who discusses the differences between what a politician says and what he means. Both Mark Russell, longtime political satirist, and little known comedian Don Rice would reappear on the Hubert Humphrey roast, while Dan Rowan makes a rare appearance without Dick Martin. Zsa Zsa Gabor sums up the evening best, with her comment about spending a dinner date with the Senator: "Barry dear, how can they call you a conservative?"
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