Population 436 (Video 2006) Poster

(2006 Video)

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Great little Mystery/Thriller...
zarmazievex17 September 2006
I was very surprised that this movie did not get a better rating compared to some similar titles that were very disappointing. Population 436 is a low budget but to its benefit as it doesn't play the usual visual and audio special effects. Actually, you don't even pay attention as it doesn't require a high-budget that would have ruined it anyway (i.e. The Wickerman - 2006).This movie has a good cast, good acting a very subtle creepiness. You will follow the main character inside a weird, cult society as with The Tenant, Rosemary's Baby, The Wickerman...If you like the genre you will like Population 436. Give it a try.
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"Welcome to Rockford Falls."
Backlash00715 October 2006
Population 436 is a welcome change in the direct-to-DVD market. It's actually a good movie. Jeremy Sisto stars as census taker who stumbles into a town where the population has stayed the same for over a 100 years. To say anything else would be to ruin the movie. Let's just say it has a few elements from The Lottery but still remains its own movie. There are excellent twists and turns along the way and the ending is brilliant. There are two endings on the DVD, but the ending they chose for the film was the finale that I wanted to see. It's the perfect ending. And Sisto was the perfect choice for the lead. He's quickly becoming one of my favorite rising stars and he does a lot of genre work. The supporting players are all top-notch. Charlotte Sullivan is perfect, Peter Outerbridge has always been underrated, and Fred Durst can actually act. He's quite good, and that's a big surprise. If you are tired of wading through the trash that covers the walls of your local video store, pick up Population 436. It's a welcome breath of fresh air.
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A pleasant surprise.....decent thriller with a good performance from Sisto
srivastavag25 May 2006
Do you ever watch a movie and are pleasantly surprised?? Doesn't happen often for me....but Pop/436 did the trick! A decent thriller with an unique plot, Pop/436 tells a story of a small town that through over 100 years has kept a constant population. The story is adequate, but a good background score and another excellent performance by Jeremy Sisto (who was excellent in Paranoia 1.0) is able to keep the audience interested for the 90 min runtime.

Don't expect anything extraordinary from this movie, but in a day and age where over budget movie miss the mark time and time again, Pop/436 is a rare treat which is worth a view.
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Mundane re-run of Two Thousand Maniacs, less the gore
The_Void28 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Population 436 was a point of interest for me because of its main plot line. The idea behind the film is definitely intriguing, and I've got to say that I did want to discover the mystery behind the film; but the plot is also the film's biggest problem. Writer Michael Kingston seems too content to let the film simply wallow in it's central idea rather than building it up, so what we're left with is a movie with a rather dry final third, as it soon becomes obvious that it's not going anywhere it hasn't gone already. The plot is fairly original in itself; but the handling isn't, as most everything about the film reeks of Herschell Gordon Lewis' classic 'Two Thousand Maniacs', only without the bloodshed. The plot focuses on Steve Kady; a man that works for a census-taking agency. He is dispatched to a small town called 'Rockwell Falls' in order to investigate why their population has been at 436 for the last hundred years or so. While there, several instances transpire and our man soon finds out that the town of Rockwell Falls isn't quite right; and the reason why the population stays the same is more than a coincidence.

At first, I thought the reason why the residents of Rockwell Falls have opted to keep their population at 436 was so they wouldn't have to change their painted sign, and actually; the real reason isn't too far away from being that drab. The film starts off with a woman giving birth, inter-cut with a scene that sees a man killed in a car accident. I guess this would be a pretty good indicator for most people as to why the population stays at 436 right from the off, and the film makes a habit of not keeping it's cards close enough to it's chest as heavy hints are dropped often and by the time it gets to actually finding out the mystery, you already know. However, in the film's favour; it does feature an amiable lead performance from Jeremy Sisto. Sisto made his best film with 'May', and since then has also starred in that Dead and Breakfast rubbish, and some American TV shows. Population 436 is directed by Michelle Maxwell MacLaren, a director that has only worked on TV shows prior to making this; and it shines through, as the movie never feels any more ambitious than your common TV movie. Overall, Population 436 is not essentially 'bad' - but it's not very good either. Feel free to skip this one.
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very good twilight zone style stuff
windypoplar21 September 2006
Being a huge fan of Jeremy Sisto, I had to check out Population 436. This was very good. It sort of plays like a twilight zone episode. Nice little town, what the hell is wrong with the people? Being a big horror fan, I was very pleased with this movie. Jeremy Sisto is such a great actor, He was really good here, just a simple everyman confronted with growing malevolence and secrecy. A surprisingly restrained Fred Durst also gives a nice performance as the deputy. Actually his presence almost kept me from getting this, don't worry, he's actually good here.

Simply put these townspeople are really sick. I highly recommend seeing it on DVD as this includes a very interesting alternate ending. I actually thought this was good enough for theaters, I guess the lack of gratuitous violence kept it out. It's a thinking persons horror flick. With the terror more implied than shown. Very good. In fact to return to the always brilliant Sisto, I don't really think he's been in anything poor, OK Hideaway (96) comes close, but this is another feather in his cap. Lets hope NBC's "Kidnapped" is a hit so we can see more of this fine young actor.
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436 Mini-Maniacs!
Coventry9 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I enjoyed "Population 436", I have to admit! Sure it was very predictable and a little too tame for my usual liking – they could have used a bucket or two of fake blood – but director Michelle Maxwell Maclaren maintains a nicely uncanny atmosphere and everyone involved in this production showed a lot spirit. "Population 436" feels like an honorable throwback to the 'creepy little town with a dark secret' sub genre of the older days. It's very similar to films like "Dead and Buried","The Wicker Man", "Messiah of Evil" and in a way even to the almighty Hershell Gordon Lewis' classic "2000 Maniacs", with its plot about the remote little village of Rockwell Falls that holds the same number of inhabitants since more than a complete century. Government worker Steve Kady (Jeremy Sisto) is sent to investigate the registering habits of this little town, only to realize the locals are a bunch of deeply religious lunatics who believe they have to keep their number on 436, otherwise God will severely punish them. Steve is warmly welcomed as a new township member, but that of course means that someone else has to be sacrificed. Writer Michael Kingston tries a little too hard to keep the events going on in Rockwell Falls a secret, even though it's all fairly obvious since the opening sequences already. This approach nevertheless results in a couple of creepy and ominous moments, like the fantastic highlight during the town's autumn festival, but there never are any real surprises or shocks to experience. As stated previously, the film also could have used a little more bloodshed, as that is the least you expect from crazy inbred rednecks living in isolated areas. Still, I very much admire the effort and, since I'm a sucker for unhappy endings it gets another extra point. The filming locations are splendidly chosen and so are the eerie musical tunes and camera viewpoints. The acting performances are far above average with Jeremy Sisto as a convincing hero and the beautiful Charlotte Sullivan as an amiable local girl. Heck, even Fred Durst did a fine job and I'm really relieved that none of his songs were on the soundtrack. Recommended!
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Are you in a Matrix?
whotheff25 August 2006
This movie has no special effects, no super celebrities, no expensive advertising campaign. But it has atmosphere, this is the thing that lacks in most of the today's movies. It immerses you into it's story.

Although you know that this town is corrupted in some way, it makes you believe there is nothing wrong with it - it LIES you! That's why the cinema is called "The Great Illusion".

Instead of hearth-stopping LFE effects, breathtaking views made with a computer frame by frame, this movie manages to create the illusion only by using the right music + right acting + right nature shots. It's far away from perfect, but nowadays making a different movie is not easy. It lacks authenticity at the end, but that's not the important in it. The hidden message is to open your eyes and take a look around (i sound like Fred Durst) you and see if you are not in a matrix like Rockwell Falls... yourself!
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The Most Perfect Place on Earth
claudio_carvalho15 February 2007
While traveling to Rockwell Falls in an assignment of the US Census Bureau, the surveyor from Chicago Steve Kady (Jeremy Sisto) has two flat tires nearby the small town. The local Deputy Bobby Caine (Fred Durst) brings him to the town and the Mayor Grateman (Frank Adamson) lodges him in a farm, where the gorgeous Courtney Lovett (Charlotte Sullivan) lives with her mother. Steve finds that Rockwell Falls, considered by the locals as the most perfect place on Earth, has the same population since 1860 and sooner he discloses the meaning and the dark secret of their creed of solidarity and steadfastness.

"Population 436" is a good horror B-movie, with an intriguing dark story that in some moments recall the original "The Stepford Wives" and a great mystery. I personally liked the surprising and unpredictable conclusion, and hated the alternative commercial ending in the Extras of the DVD. If the viewer sees this low-budget movie with a lower expectation, he or she may have a worthwhile surprise. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "População 436" ("Population 436")
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Average in all aspects
dblaine00714 July 2006
Well, I was kind of hoping for a thriller with this movie, but around half way through you'll see the ending coming if you've watched at least half a dozen thrillers. And I have seen MORE than half a dozen so it was pretty predictable.

Can't say this was too much of a thriller, Michelle Maxwell MacLaren doesn't come anywhere near M.Night Syamalan and his thrillers and suspenses. The other thing that backed me off was the background score. Its always the same weird music which you'd get sick of 15 minutes into the movie. The theme is well... nice.

The story is unique, that I guarantee you, but kinda seemed lame to me. I mean a town with Population at 436 through a 100 years? You can always guess how the climax is going to be! Oh yes, there are a large number of plot holes too.

Decent performances though. Jeremy Sisto, through whose eyes we see the movie give a good enough performance. The camera angles throughout the film were average and impressed me only in the 'chase'. ;) OK, now this movie might be rated R, but the "brief sexuality and violence" lasts only a couple of sec. It should be PG-13.

Predicability and average plot with huge plot holes cause its downfalls. Decent performances uplifts it a bit. Overall though it doesn't fall into MUST-WATCH-OR-ALL-HELL-WILL-BREAK-LOSE, its worth a rental... maybe.... if you're too much of a movie buff.

I give it 5/10. Bite me.
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Solid film with "subliminal" message for some of us
A.N.7 October 2006
I think this movie could have been better but it's hard to say exactly how. The acting was less than stupendous but I can't find too much to criticize. I was never bored and the ending (including alternate) was unpredictable. I didn't find it too scary except for one scene that caught me off guard; a pivotal point in the movie.

Two CGI flaws stood out in scenes where it was probably used to cut costs. Keep an eye on the moving Jeep and study the town in aerial views. The latter may require a high resolution TV or projector. A few plot holes were adequately explained by paranoia but it's difficult to be that isolated in the lower 48 now.

Under different circumstances Rockwell Falls could indeed be "the most perfect place on Earth," meaning a picturesque town that isn't destined to get overrun. There are safe and sane ways to stop population growth and I think the whole world should encourage that. Whether or not you agree, I can recommend this film as more than light entertainment.
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Decent if predictable STV
xredgarnetx9 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Jeremy Sisto is a census taker stranded in the isolated town of Rockwell Falls, population 436 (and shot in Canada, of course). His car breaks down just outside of Rockwell Falls, and the good folks of Rainbow Falls make it plain he won't be leaving anytime soon. Sisto immediately takes a shine to a comely local gal and becomes concerned with the plight of a young female orphan who is being helped captive by the town's nutty doctor. He becomes a witness to the town's madness, which not too surprisingly involves human sacrifice, and decides it's time to skeedaddle. You can guess where the plot goes from there. Sisto is very good, as always. The movie is clearly a made-for-video job, and done as well as any made-for-TV movie. It reminded me very briefly of the Bette Davis 1978 TV miniseries, THE DARK SECRET OF HARVEST HOME, wherein a family moves into an idyllic new England town only to discover it's run by a coven of witches. The sets and locations of POPULATION 436 look to be right out of Sisto's previous WRONG TURN, which was also shot in Canada. There are some thrills, although the flick is highly predictable. The gore is minimal but effective, especially scenes involving electric shock therapy and the aftermath of a lobotomy. A spooky basement scene may remind some of SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, among others. Worth a look. The squeamish are unlikely to mind.
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Pretty good actually
samtotallyrules5 July 2006
On a lazy holiday I decided to rent this little number from the video store. I'm a pretty big movie fan so I knew what I should have expected from it but I was actually pretty pleased. The story was fairly engaging, the acting really wasn't that bad and the whole feel of the movie was pretty much dead on.

On the box it said that it was like 'The Wicker Man' which is one of my favourite movies, and it comes fairly close to capturing the concept of that movie (though not as well) so thats a big endorsement from me.

I'm not gonna be bothered going into the story but lets just say that if you are a fan of this kind of movie then you should probably check it out.
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Quite good, considering its limited resources.
Boba_Fett113827 July 2007
This is obviously a movie made with a very low budget and low other resources. The movie however manges well with its limited resources and its good for what it is, although obviously its hardly a genre classic or anything else too remarkable.

The movie begins well but for the viewers it becomes obvious too early on into the movie what the story is all about and where the movie is heading to. It doesn't ever make the movie good as a mystery-movie but its atmosphere and other things compensate for this.

As other reviewers have pointed out already, the movie has a great creepy kind of "The Twilight Zone" atmosphere, despite that the movie itself not being scary at all. I am however convinced of it that if this was an actual "The Twilight Zone"-episode, it would be considered one of the best ever. The atmosphere and the professional feeling of the movie make the movie work out, even though it all is nothing too remarkable or original.

The movie has a good visual style and due to the fast directing (which was I think probably due to the limited shooting time) the movie flows well. It's cinematography is good and it provides the movie with a couple of pretty pictures. The movie also tries to be creative at times and also provide it with a couple of scare moments but this mostly does not work out.

The movie its concept is interesting and I guess that it even had more potential in it, than used in the actual movie now. All of the elements now used feel rather formulaic and predictable. The movie perhaps also feels a bit like a poor man's "The Village".

Jeremy Sisto is a good 'big' leading man for a this kind of movie, though I expected more from him honestly. The supporting cast does a good job although this movie of course hardly features any of the best performances.

Worth a watch, if you're into the genre.


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Another aggressively bland "suspense" movie.
lordvolde1 August 2006
Population 436 is yet another piece of evidence for the theory that suspense film writers think that everyone who goes to a movie theatre is stupid.

It starts off with a strange idea; there's a town that always has the exact same population (436, obviously), year after year and year. Most people in the audience would have figured out why this is within the first few minutes of the movie. I mean, there are only two or three possible explanations and the movie makes it painfully obvious which one is correct.

That would be fine, except that the writers apparently thought that we wouldn't realize what was happening until they told us outright. You can see how they struggled to keep everything suspenseful and mysterious, and it's almost sad to know that they went to so much trouble when the movie revealed its greatest secret in the first five minutes. Don't think that the clumsily deployed mystery is the only thing bad about Population 436. It features many of the other staples (well, clichés) of the horror/suspense genre: freaky religious cults, ominous gas stations (of DOOM!) and enough weird inconsistencies to be almost terrifying if the movie wasn't so risible.

Personally, I wouldn't spend any money going to see this movie. Encyclopedia Brown is more clever and suspenseful, and you get him at the library for free.
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Population 436
Scarecrow-8811 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
An employee for the census bureau discovers something quite sinister underneath the homey, folksy atmosphere of Rockwell Falls which has a community of people all speaking as one collective unit with smiles wide. We see that anyone who might oppose the town's ways, however, are considered "feverish" and must be cured by Dr. Greaver(David Ames). The bureau man is Steve(Jeremy Sisto)and along the way he befriends Deputy Bobby(Fred Durst, not bad)who is quite sure that the lovely Courtney(Charlotte Sullivan)will marry him. But, Courtney secretly wishes to leave Rockwell Falls and begins a romance with Steve that can prove critical to their survival as the very religious town keeps all eyes on the "visitor". Many of the townsfolk already include Steve as one of their citizens and soon he'll discover one of Doc Greaver's "patients" is a normal girl named Amanda(Reva Timbers)whose father dies tragically at the opening of the film because he wished to leave Rockwell Falls. The township believe that anyone who remains in Rockwell Falls overnight will never leave because God wouldn't allow it. Somehow, Steve will have to find a way out of this madhouse also trying to play hero by saving Amanda & Courtney as well.

Plays best as an extended Twilight Zone episode..certainly has that vibe. I think it has a problem of what it wants to be, though. It seems to play for a while as a paranoia thriller where people who go within a town have a hard time escaping. Then if anyone who attempts to go against the town's principles, will face being lobotomized by Greaver as being sick. Yet, there's a twist that offers a supernatural aspect regarding Steve being able to escape that just didn't wash with me. But, that twist merely backs up a claim by the crazed citizens of Doc Greaver's "paradise." Disturbing and at times effectively creepy with a good performance from Sisto as the unfortunate Steve.
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Dangerous Message!!!
maike428 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I thought the movie was not too bad. Not very creative and very predictable, but I liked some of the ideas and the characters and actors were okay. But then I saw the last few minutes. They were stupid and not very well thought through. But even worse was the message they sent: You have no chance to escape from your destiny! The wrath of god will always find you! ... Until the end I thought the movie was supposed to criticize the narrow-minded, fanatic Christian right but the last minutes even seemed to support the villagers' point of view, that it was all God's wish that people were dying. I can see the people in the village gloating, because they were right again. What a horrible message for a movie that was just supposed to entertain.
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The trick isn't working anymore !
Allendorf6 August 2006
I obtained Population 436's DVD from local store awhile ago after watching the trailer on IMDb. I felt attached to the storyline - and was wildly curious about how could possibly any town has constant population, something must went really wrong?.

Yes, everything seems to be wrong with this town although everything seems to be perfectly normal. A happy little small neighborhood with many buts. The census bureau agent is on his duty on only counting...but soon discovered there are odd pieces in the survey, then the adventure unfolds.

On summary, acting of the main players are Good - although the villager's and suspense seems to be exaggerated and overly done sometimes. There are a lot of mysteries in this village, but unfortunately they're poorly unfold and there is not enough twists in this movie. As a result of the unclarity of the causes and root of the problem - many suspenses (i.e the nightmare) are to be unfounded and quiet irritating.

The storyline sometimes unfold in 'bizarre' fashion. People seems to act really strangely in this movie with no apparent reason (i.e One suddenly attacked the other like crazy dog...and some people just tried to follow the others..etc). I think this is really amusing in someway, making me scratching off my head quiet a few times during the movie. If this is an attempt to lengthen the movie, then mission accomplished - but otherwise, I don't think it has reached any goal.

The suspense tricks deliberately doesn't work for me and makes this film rather a bizarre mystery drama...and can't be classified as a thriller or horror.
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Incredibly bad
terjeber20 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This is just bad, bad, bad. Who on earth green-lighted this garbage? The plot is terrible, the execution formulaic in the extreme. There was literally not a single move any of the characters in this movie made that was anything but blatantly obvious and horrifyingly stupid.

You connect with absolutely nobody in this movie. The "hero" is boring in all kinds of ways, and when the obvious ending comes, you breathe a sigh of relief that this is FINALLY over.

I enjoy watching an Ed Wood movie because it is so bad it is both funny and tragic. When this movie was over I was just left with a feeling that I wished it was the script writer who met his maker in the end, not the "hero". I didn't like or dislike the "hero" enough to care what happened to him.
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Census taker visits creepy small town, and discovers their secret... too late?
boone05216 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This is a well-written, but low-budget suspense story. If you're looking for huge visual effects or a 'big Hollywood' movie, you should avoid this film. If you want a low-budget movie that rises above it's meager funding, with good acting, a good script, and a really interesting story, check this Canadian movie out. Filmed in Manitoba, Canada, this film is a new take on such cult (pun intended) movies as 'Rosemary's Baby', and "Race With the Devil'. The movie is more reminiscent of the latter picture in terms of funding, but somehow delivers an interesting build-up of suspense worthy of "Rosemary's Baby'. Jeremy Sisto is a real talent and plays the lead in this small movie very convincingly. The locations in Manitoba, as mentioned earlier, are very well shot, and the movie has beautiful cinematography. The ending is classic horror, without the usual Hollywood upbeat ending, where everyone ends up alright. All in all, this movie is a really good modern horror movie, paying homage to some earlier demon/cult movies of the past; well worth a watch.
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The dregs of the horror barrel
saturnalia3313 September 2006
A film such as Population 436, like many in its genre, is a straight-to-DVD movie. Occasionally such films make their way there because they are first-time directed low-budget flicks with no distribution company pushing behind it. Most films in this field however make it to the shelves because they are simply bad films and probably did not win over audiences in its screen test. Some are diamonds in the rough and some are so amazingly amateurish it's surprising that they were ever made. Most are just plain bad and unsurprisingly this is the category that Population 436 fits into.

It begins with a journey by a census-taker who is travelling to the small town of Rockwell Falls in order to find out why the population has remained at 436 since the 19th century. It's an original idea granted but I always find if a movie is based in a small town ending in 'Falls' you better hold on to the receipt as you are in possession of damaged goods. My trepidations increased due to the fact that Fred Durst aka Mr Limp Biscuit was acting in this film and on the whole, rock stars do not make for great actors. Interestingly enough his acting is actually one of the best features of the movie as an initial intriguing plot soon gets bogged down into the mundane and obvious horror plot.

As you might imagine, all is not well in Rockwell Falls and the census-taker is viewed with trepidation and treated with disdain. Can our intrepid main character find out the mystery behind the small town before he falls victim to their evil ways? By the end of the movie you probably wont care enough because if you're intelligent you'll see the ending coming a mile off besides numerous other plot points which borrow from the big box of horror plots. Sometimes I think writers use fridge magnets to put these scripts together. Your oven deserves to get cleaned above your priority of watching formulaic nonsense like this and whilst I'm a sucker for trashy horror movies but this is certainly the dregs of the barrel that should be avoided.
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Utterly spoiled by the last few minutes
neil-upto1113 March 2011
Until the last few minutes, this was a decent TV movie with a bit of depth. It borrowed from some worthy stories (Wicker Man, Stepford Wives, Body Snatchers and others) and developed a good narrative.

The tale explored the horrors of cults and religions. It exposed the demented actions of such groups and the ignorant hysteria that they both create and thrive on. This whole metaphor worked effectively and impressively ... until the end. I'm afraid that the ending saw all that good work flushed away for the sake of a very predictable twilight-zone conclusion. I could've even enjoyed the silly ending if it hadn't completely undermined the entire thrust of the film.
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Not a very good movie, but not that bad either.
Vic_max23 February 2008
This is a mildly interesting movie; it's not that bad and not that good. It's pretty slow for the first 2/3 of the movie, and then picks up towards the end. Although I didn't quite like the story, the movie wasn't completely bad.

The movie is about a census taker who goes to a town that has a population of only 436 people. As he spends more time in this bizarre place, he learns that the population has been the same for a long time.

Although the story sounds interesting, once you watch it, it's a bit far-fetched. There's only one strong character (the census taker) and the rest are kind of one-dimensional.

Still, it's a step above most junk horror/sci-fi/supernatural movies. It's story is somewhat different/unusual and it does get more interesting towards the end. In general though, it's not really worth watching.
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Fred durst
heiskanenpetja19 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
The day that movie business died. I need to write more to get this through. Pesee and love ! #woodstock99
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Well Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas any more.
It's not going to win any awards, and the acting is not the greatest, but the story is interesting in a Stepford Wives/Wicker man sort of way.

TV director/producer Michelle Maxwell MacLaren did a good job of presenting a story by new writer Michael Kingston in his sophomore effort. The actors are not the thing here, but the story, and it has probably been done before, but I found it captivating.

If this town voted in this year's primaries, it would be a 100% vote for Santorum. It's that kind of town, and you better conform or they have ways of making you do so. The "doctor" has no medical training and doesn't need any as he has perfected the necessary procedure for dissidents. They don't need jails, because they will have your complete cooperation once they are done. Besides voicing concern, wanting to leave is considered a sign of sickness, and will be dealt with.

The town's population has remained at 436 for over 100 years. They have elaborate rituals to make sure it stays that way. Like the Roach Motel, once you check in, you can't check out. It is the thinking behind this number that was the really interesting part of the film. I know people like this, and you do too.

The existence of Rockwell Falls in America is very believable.
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I'll have to assume that the movie's writer originates from this village: complete with a free childhood lobotomy.
fedor821 April 2009
Warning: Spoilers
"Hi, my name is Jeremy Sisto, and I'm from the Census Bureau. In other words, I've come to count you hillbillies. I hear that you have 435 inhabitants and one lame white metal rapper." "That's correct. We keep Fred here because metal fans from all over the world had donated 15 million dollars to us to keep him here against his will. Besides, he is so inexpensive and low maintenance: Fred is the only one who won't be needing a lobotomy."

"The Stepford Wives". "The Reaping"……… You don't have a clue yet? Need more hints?

"Dead & Buried". "The Wicker Man"……… Still confused? Well, then this is the ideal movie for you!

If you still haven't guessed the type of horror sub-genre from these four hints, then you've either never seen a horror film before, or you're 9 years old AND have never seen a horror film before. However, to figure out not only the genre but even the entire "mystery" behind this unoriginal premise, all you need to do is to watch the first 436 seconds of P436: contained in it is all the most basic information you need to spoil for yourself any kind of major plot-twist "surprise" that the incompetent writer and clumsy female director had planned for you.

The movie begins like this: 1. A man gets killed trying to run away from Fred Durst. (Anyone anyone would run away from Fred Durst and his music, cop or no cop.) 2. A baby is born at the same moment of the man's death. 3. The town's plaque says "population 436". 4. Even the movie title tells you this. That is what is known as "information overkill".

Hence, a simple mathematical equation should help even Slipknot fans to read the humongous plot-twist miles ahead:

1 + 2 + 3x4 = the town must be some kind of a religious cult that maintains its precise population number by force.

So why watch the rest of the movie? In the hope that Fred Durst's character gets killed? Not only does Freddy not get killed (horror-movie Freddies are immortal, remember?), but he even ends up getting engaged to Sisto's rather sexy (and recently lobotomized) girlfriend. You might wonder why she's been lobotomized... in order to agree to marry Durst. Duh! So obvious.

The movie's painful predictability makes it even harder to watch because the cliché story moves very slowly. Watching P436 is like watching a snail trying to "run" away from a Limp Bizkit concert. Nevertheless, because I'm the type of person who sees the glass as half-full, I'd decided not to get annoyed by the obvious flaws. Instead of being peeved that Fred Durst now even infests the world of film (which is pitiful enough without him), I chose to rejoice the fact that he doesn't sing at all! There isn't even a single Limp Bizkit track in the end-credits.

Well... almost. In the barn scene (at the end), when he threatens to kill himself but sadly doesn't, he whines almost like he sings in LB. It's quite funny, actually... The definitive highlight of the film, as ironic as that may sound.

And what modern-day horror film would be complete without the obligatory "hey, my mobile phone doesn't work here!" cliché...

IQ 43.6
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