American Dad! (TV Series 2005– ) Poster

(2005– )

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin, Alan Greenspan, Stan Smith as Agent Stan Smith, Bill, Brian Griffin, Future Stan, Glenn Quagmire, God...



  • Stan Smith : You know, son, the great thing about First Love is that it's the first of many

    Steve Smith : But how will I forget my feelings for Akiva?

    Stan Smith : Well you see son, as time goes by you'll find- Amy! Amy why won't you love me! Bwah-ha-ha! I don't wanna live!

  • Roger the Alien : [after a hallucinogenic meal]  I just don't have the words for it. Schmooblydong. Is that a word?

  • Roger the Alien : Don't cry... in front of the fish.

  • Roger the Alien : Oh, Staniel!

  • Roger the Alien : Oh, Franiel!

  • Klaus : I'll tell you something, though. You've just eaten all the potato salad Francine made for the Deacon's Wake! Ha ha ha!

    Roger the Alien : And you didn't stop me? How could you do that?

    Klaus : Yeah, still German...

  • Roger the Alien : [Steve has an electric guitar. Roger has an Octopus, an abacus and a hairdryer]  Your thing looks more interesting

    [throws his stuff away] 

  • [repeated line] 

    Stan Smith : OOH!

  • Roger the Alien : [real estate scam]  Oh look, another serious buyer.

    Husband : But you're so young

    Wife : How can you possibly afford this house?

    Steve Smith : Remember the kid from Jerry Maguire?

    Husband : Yes.

    Wife : Of course.

    Steve Smith : Well, he pays me to call hotels before his arrival to ensure they have pillows that can support his massive head. I do quite well. Which is why I'm prepared to offer you $99,000. And not a penny more.

    Roger the Alien : Oh, yeah? Let me see the cash. I don't need to see the cash. Well, Hannigan, what's it going to be? You gonna offer me 100 K, or are you going to let Jonathan Lipnicki's bitch make you look like a punk in front of your hot wife?

    Wife : Well, are you?

  • Stan Smith : You brought Fat into our house!

  • Football Legend : Stan, I thought the CIA was done with me! I still have the headaches and the nightmares! What happened in Munich? Who did I kill?

    Stan Smith : No, I'm not here about that. It's my kid's birthday!

  • Roger the Alien : What is this and how can I replace my Blood with it?

  • Gay Neighbour : Women don't ask for much, do they?

    Stan Smith : No, just don't pee in the shower on her birthday, and you're good to go.

  • Nebraska Kid : Ooh! I love babies! Jesus was a Baby!

    Stan Smith : Yes, he was also a murder victim.

  • Stan Smith : [to George W Bush]  Is it true that you can make Tony Blair do anything you want? Like if you said he had to eat a bug, he'd eat it even if it had lots of legs?

  • Roger the Alien : Floor Spaghetti!

    Francine Smith : Floor Spaghetti?

    Roger the Alien : [Floor Spaghetti]  Floor Spaghetti.

  • Stan Smith : It's High School, Steve, it doesn't matter.

    Steve Smith : You said that last time, when's it start to matter?

    Stan Smith : Never.

  • Klaus : Am I early for Book Club?

    Roger the Alien : No! You're late! And that's two weeks in a row! You're out!

    Klaus : I didn't read it anyway...

  • Roger the Alien : In a Time of Chimpanzees I was a Monkey!

    Stan Smith : What?

  • Roger the Alien : Can a Brother get a "Run Roger!"? Damn it! Got to be all self-runnin' and whatnot...

  • Stan Smith : We need to have a talk about point of view. Every villain is the hero of his own cinnamon apple monkey toaster.

  • Stan Smith : No-one needs America's Help, until they need it!

  • Avery Bullock : It is time we Feast! Take them!

    Various : It's the 200!

    Roger the Alien : Nonsense, they don't exist! I made them up! Wha...?

    Hayley Smith : 200 Rogers!

    Roger the Alien : 200 mes?

  • Roger the Alien : It's not Silly Juice it's Necessary Juice!

  • Roger the Alien : You poached my Bear!

  • Stan Smith : Son if you ever want to crawl your way out of this Geek Swamp, you're going to have to log some Face Time with the Cool Kids.

  • Roger the Alien : Do not fear me, pretty one, though my outward appearance may repulse thee I assure you my intentions are most pure.

  • Roger the Alien : Meahh! Meahh! Meahh!

  • Stan Smith : [CIA awards]  But I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my gym teacher Mr Raglan, who taught me everything I know about seduction!

  • Stan Smith : Paperclips? Paperclops? Popperclops! Pops that Clop your Poppers!

  • Roger the Alien : [can't roll an oreo from his navel into his mouth]  Dammit!

  • Roger the Alien : Have you read The Tipping Point? I haven't. Perhaps it applies.

  • Roger the Alien : Tam, I gotta go, the Boss is being a real Catch you Next Tuesday...

  • Stan Smith : These rocks will make a fine raft!

  • Stan Smith : I want you to come home, Francine, Greg won't stop being snarky!

  • Stan Smith : [to Sexpun T'come]  I'm going over to the Juice Bar. You wouldn't like it, it's not about reliving childhood trauma it's all positive and about Juice.

  • Dick : When I was your age we had to work harder than this!

    Stan Smith : When I'm your age I want to be dead for ten years.

  • Stan Smith : She's called Thundercat.

  • Doctor : Your breasts are full of spiders!

    Roger the Alien : That's how I like 'em!

  • Stan Smith : [to a fat kid]  God I want to hit you!

  • Stan Smith : Klaus, just be glad you're alone with no family.

  • Roger the Alien : Is there anything more terrifying than a hovering Blimp!

  • Roger the Alien : [Persian Club Shark]  My cousin makes porno and I think you girls should get involved, I hear it makes you feel really good about yourself.

  • Roger the Alien : Behind the wheel of every taxi is a sad confused person who lost a bet they didn't understand.

  • Roger the Alien : I got the Egg Madness, y'all!

  • Stan Smith : Got to get worse before it gets better.

  • Stan Smith : [Gatecrashing Heaven]  We're Mormons! We were born dead!

  • Roger the Alien : Who will feed the Chinchillas?

  • Granny : You tell him he's a Carpetbagger!

    Roger the Alien : [Drunk]  You're a Carpetbagger, Stan! Wassat?

  • Roger the Alien : [Old Lady scattering ashes]  Thank you Umar, thank you for showing me I can go on without you! I know what you did to our kids you bastard! Ha! Why can't I leave things nice?


  • Roger the Alien : [Chinese Restaurant Owner]  You Bicyqwuall Delivery Boy!

  • Roger the Alien : As a Married Woman, here are your choices for Best Friend: Fat Woman, Cat, Gay Guy, Food...

  • Roger the Alien : Let's turn this Country around. Let's make things again.

  • Stan Smith : Feed the Chicken!

  • Roger the Alien : They said I'd never be good enough for Television! How do you like me now, Voices in my Head?


    Roger the Alien : There's no pleasing you guys!

  • Roger the Alien : [Max Jetts, straight out of prison]  Now that I've been raped by people who know what they're doing, I just want to share...

  • Stan Smith : You know what the best part of my Day is? The five seconds after I wake up, before I remember who I am.

  • Roger the Alien : You know, it takes Courage to tell a joke to a group of strangers.

  • Stan Smith : So what? We shoot each other, that's how we communicate in this Family.

  • Roger the Alien : [to Hayley]  Oh, you dear sweet Man-faced Girl...

  • Frat Dude : Great Party Roger! Woo!

    Roger the Alien : Aw, people have been spitting on your cracker and calling it cream cheese all your life, haven't they? No, we haven't achieved greatness yet...

  • Roger the Alien : It's not a real party until somebody dies!

  • Roger the Alien : [Muslim at the Airport]  I can laugh at that, but you can't or they won't let you on the Plane. It's sad, but that's the World we live in now.

  • Roger the Alien : Steve, here's your copy of neglected child Monthly.

  • Roger the Alien : Hayley don't Preach/ I'm in trouble deep/ Hayley don't Preach/ I need booze to sleep/ but I've made up my mind...

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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