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The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (1976) Poster

Quotes

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Paul Lynde: Well, here I am again... ABC's answer to Trick-Or-Treat.

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Housekeeper: I'll give you a hint. It's full of witches and spooks and strange creatures of the night.

Paul Lynde: Oh, sounds like Hollywood Squares.

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Paul Lynde: As you know, there's a real scary holiday coming up. Election Day.

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Paul Lynde: [meeting KISS] Well, just what I always wanted: four kisses on the first date.

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Housekeeper: This is Ace. This is Gene. This is Peter. And this is Paul.

Paul Lynde: Oh, I love a good religious group. I can take one look at you four and tell you how you got your name and how you got your act. You had a fight, and your mothers told you to... kiss and make up.

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Paul Lynde: [to Gene Simmons] Why don't you push the down button on your elevator shoes?

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[first lines]

Paul Lynde: [singing] # We wish you a Merry Christmas, / We we wish you a Merry Christmas. #

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Paul Lynde: Hi, I'm Paul Lynde. Well, somebody had to be.

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Paul Lynde: It's been a year since my last special. Was it something I said?

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Paul Lynde: I always give a prize for the funniest costume. Last year I said that the prize goes to the first one that rings my bell. It was my Avon Lady. So I gave her a box of Ding Dongs. You know, though, they got no sense of humor. She smeared my windows with soap on a rope.

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Paul Lynde: I was fa-a-a-a-a-t. My, uh, my brothers and sisters used to dress up in nice little Halloween costumes from the five-and-dime. Mom would hand me the shower curtain. And it didn't fit. So she let it out, and I went as the Hindenburg. It was a disaster.

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Paul Lynde: [singing] # Too much Alice Cooper! / Not enough Alice Faye... / What's the matter with kids today? #

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Housekeeper: [about her sister's house] It's well-preserved. You'll have lots of fun.

Paul Lynde: You're well-preserved, and you're no fun.

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Paul Lynde: [about Rover the vulture] I hope his bark is worse than his peck.

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Paul Lynde: Did you pack everything? It could be a chilly evening.

Housekeeper: Everything. Your robe, your slippers...

Paul Lynde: My Dr. Dentons?

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Witchiepoo: Mr. Lynde, I've been dying to meet you.

Paul Lynde: Looks like you already did.

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Paul Lynde: What about Dorothy and her little dog, Toto, in "The Wizard of Oz"?

The Wicked Witch of the West: She asked for it. And her little dog, too!

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Paul Lynde: She has a striking resemblance to Betty White. But then so many witches do.

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Witchiepoo: It's a hot dog with all the meat scooped out of it.

Paul Lynde: Oh, a Hollow Weenie.

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Cecily Westinghouse: Why are you wearing that earring?

Sheik: Because I'm a very chic Sheik. That's why they call me Florence of Arabia.

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Paul Lynde: Perhaps a glass of my hyena wine will melt your frosty heart.

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Paul Lynde: Open the ruby portals of your lips to the white-hot passion of my desire. I - I - I'm turning myself on. Fool, who needs her when you - when you've got you!

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[last lines]

Paul Lynde: In case I don't see you for awhile, to all you little monsters out there, you have a happy Halloween. Now, excuse me, I'm going back to my group to trip the heavy fantastic.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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