In New York, the ambitious Dr. Jack Byron and his associate Gordon Mitchell present the research of his assistant Sam Rogers to the CEO and board of directors of a corporation to sponsor a scientific expedition to Borneo. The objective is to find a flower, Blood Orchid, that flourishes for a couple of weeks every seven years and could be a fountain of youth, prolonging the expectation of life of human beings. They are succeeded and once in Borneo, they realize that it is the raining season and there is no boat available to navigate on the river. They pay US$ 50,000.00 to convince Captain Bill Johnson and his partner Tran to sail to the location. After an accident in a waterfall, the survivors realize that a pack of anacondas have gathered for mating and their nest is nearby the plantation of Blood Orchid, which made them bigger and bigger.Written by
Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
ANACONDAS: THE HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID (2004) * Johnny Messner, KaDee Stickland, Matthew Marsden, Nicholas Gonzalez, Eugene Byrd, Karl Yune, Salli Richardson, Morris Chestnut. (Dir: Dwight H. Little) SSSSsuper Ssssize Sssssnakes Redux!
While it is hard to believe that there was an actual clamor albeit a 7 years later one for a sequel to the marginal hit 'Anaconda' starring Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube it is even harder to believe that the film is a near-virtual remake only substituting a documentary film-making crew with a scientific expedition that none-the-less winds up the river without a paddle in this rudderless display of new ineptitude.
When a pharmaceutical conglomerate giant decides to listen to a panel of young, go-getting researchers to extract an extremely rare blood orchid from Borneo that may have the key to eternal youth (you can practically here the ka-ching! of millions of cash registers and saliva foaming at the corners of their mouths with greed) they are pressed for time since the flower only blooms once every seven years (of course!) and literally have days to procure the bounty that awaits in the thick no-man's jungle that only offers rogue boat captains (you'd think a multi-gazillion corporation would have their own fleet of ships at the ready but NOOOOOO!!!) in questionably seedy bars with an appropriately slap-dash vessel at the wait.
So begins the journey into fear since not one character in this unknown cast emerges with a unique thought as to maybe that this is not a good idea with the fact that it is monsoon season and they have not a clue as to the dangers that lie in waiting (cue the giant deadly snakes!)
Captain Bill Johnson (can he be a more blandly named 'hero'!?!?- played by Messner, who resembles a deflated, charisma-less version of The Rock) skippers the team with his Asian first mate, Tran (Yune) and cute monkey Kong (who gets the most close-ups, I kid you not then the entire cast combined!) in tow with a few problems that derail them over a waterfall and eventually trekking through the treacherous tropical thicket where one-by-one they become prey to a 40 foot anaconda and several of his buddies (we learn that it is mating season How convenient! and it seems a booty call for the cold-blooded reptiles is in order , but first one must eat and the international food court (that would be the untalented cast) is tops of the menu.
The sequel's biggest problems is that there is no one to truly root for, with its cardboard characters : Richardson, the bitchy idiotic company woman who actually whines she's lost her phone after being rescued from a crocodile (!); Marsden the Rico Suave of Doctors Without Frontiers program (I kid you not!); Byrd, the black sacredy cat ala Bill Paxton's Hudson in 'Aliens'; Marsden as the not-to-be-trusted British scientist and Chestnut the only real name actor and substitute 'Boyz N The Hood' alum for Cube basically doing a variation of Samuel L. Jackson's gig in 'Deep Blue Sea'. However Strickland's mousy administrative assistant proves to be the film's wild card as she gets in touch with her inner Sigourney Weaver mid-way through the slogging mess (literally) that is this lame, dunderheaded horror flick that elicits very few scares no thanks to the pedestrian direction by hack Little.
The CGI critters do in fact look more authentic than its predecessor however they are barely on screen long enough to get worked up over but should note that they are effectively quicker in their kills. Wish they could've done the same to the bonehead who greenlit this loser.
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