Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Lori Campbell: Hey. Gibb, what are you doing? I thought you were gonna quit.
Gibb: I only smoke when I drink now.
Kia Waterson: But you're always drinking.
Gibb: Yeah, well, I'll work on that next.
Freddy Krueger: [narrating] My children... from the very beginning, it was the children who gave me my power. The Springwood Slasher, that's what they called me. My reign of terror was legendary. Dozens of children would fall by my blades. Then the parents of Springwood came for me, taking justice into their own hands. When I was alive, I might have been a little naughty, but after they killed me, I became something much, much worse. The stuff nightmares are made of. The children still feared me, and their fear gave me the power to invade their dreams, and that's when the fun REALLY began. Until they figured out a way to forget about me. To erase me completely. Being dead wasn't a problem, but being forgotten, now that's a BITCH. I can't come back if nobody remembers me. I can't come back if nobody's afraid. I had to search the bowels of Hell, but I found someone, someone who'll make 'em remember. He may get the blood, but I'll get the glory, and that fear is my ticket home.
Kia Waterson: Oh, God, y'all, two killers? We're not safe awake or asleep.
[Jason approaches two ravers]
Teammate: Check out this fucking guy.
Shack: Well, hey, Jethro. This is a rave, not a Halloween party. Why don't you go find yourself a pig to fuck?
Teammate: Yeah. Invite only, cornpoke,
[Poking Jason's chest on each word]
Teammate: and you... weren't... invite...
[Jason grabs Teammate's head and twists it around. Jason then pokes him in his chest... and he falls over, dead]
Shack: Son of a bitch.
Deputy Scott Stubbs: [as the teens come out of the house screaming] You kids need some assistance?
Gibb: [showing him her blood-stained hands]
Gibb: What the fuck do you think?
[In Jason's dream]
Mrs. Pamela Voorhees: [to Jason] Jason, my special, special boy. Do you know what your gift is? No matter what they do to you, you cannot die. You can never die. You've just been sleeping, honey. But now, the time has come to wake up. Mommy has something she wants you to do. I need you to go to Elm Street. The children have been very bad on Elm Street. Rise up, Jason. Your work isn't finished. Hear my voice and live again. Make them remember me, Jason. Make them REMEMBER WHAT FEAR TASTES LIKE.
[after Jason leaves, Mrs. Voorhees morphs into Freddy Krueger]
Freddy Krueger: I've been away from my children for far too long.
[after seeing Jason at the rave]
Kia Waterson: Was that him? The guy you were talking about... Freddy Krueger?
Lori Campbell: No, that wasn't the guy in my dream. That was somebody else.
Charlie Linderman: Who cares about some fucking dream guy, okay? That psycho in the hockey mask was real.
Bill Freeburg: Dude, that goalie was pissed about something.
[Tormenting a 'young' Jason in his dream]
Freddy Krueger: Awww... how sweet.
[Rips the hockey mask off]
Freddy Krueger: You ugly little shit. Now there's a face...
[Holds up his mother's severed head]
Freddy Krueger: only a mother could love.
[Bobby Davis appears in a bloody bathtub in Mark's nightmare]
Bobby Davis: Hey, Mark. You didn't forget about me, did you?
Mark Davis: Oh, God.
[Bobby speaks in Freddy Krueger's voice]
Freddy Krueger: Oh, that's right! Everyone forgot! That's why they weren't afraid anymore! That's why I needed Jason to kill for me to get them to remember. But now he just won't stop...
[Bobby shows Mark his slit wrists]
Freddy Krueger: That hockey puck!
Gibb: You're the one that killed Trey!
Freddy Krueger: Oh, don't worry about my little errand boy. The only thing to fear, is fear himself!
[Gibb stumbles and falls over railing]
Freddy Krueger: Oh.
Bill Freeburg: Man, screw that clown. I mean, what kind of a pussy comes after you in your dreams anyway? Now, that, that big-ass mother fucker back at the cornfield, all right, that's who we should be afraid of. Tell me who the fuck that was.
[torturing Jason in the dream world]
Freddy Krueger: Penny for your thoughts, chief!
[Jason grabs him and pushes his throat to the machete]
Freddy Krueger: Uhh! Oh, scary.
Kia Waterson: [to Freddy] So you're the one everyone's afraid of? Tell me something. What kind of faggot runs around in a Christmas sweater? I mean, come on, get real. You're not even scary.
Kia Waterson: You're not even scary. And let's talk about the butter knives. What is with the butter knives? You trying to compensate for something? Maybe coming up a little short there between the legs, Mr. Krueger?
Freddy Krueger: Hmmm.
Kia Waterson: I mean, you've got these teensy-weensy little things and Jason has got this big old thing and like...
[Freddy points behind her, she turns, and there is Jason standing right in front of her with his machete]
Freddy Krueger: Now it's time to put this bad dog to sleep... for good!
[jumps down to kill Jason, Jason chops off his arm]
Freddy Krueger: Not my arm!
[Jason chops off Freddy's other arm]
Freddy Krueger: AHH!
Lori Campbell: [in Jason's nightmare, while young Jason is drowning in Crystal Lake] Aren't you going to help the kid?
Male Counselor: [having sex with a female counselor] Can't you see that I'm busy here?
Lori Campbell: You mean you're not coming?
Freddy Krueger: [the Counselor turns into Freddy Krueger and it is revealed that he is having sex with a dead girl's body] It's not my fault this bitch is dead on her feet.
[he laughs, and waves the dead girl's hand at Lori]
Deputy Scott Stubbs: This Jason Voorhees supposedly drowned at Camp Crystal Lake back in 1957 when he was 11-years old. The counselors weren't watching him. Then they made the mistake of killing his mother. Now legend has it that Jason kept returning from his grave to punish whoever returned to the Camp.
Freddy Krueger: [to Lori] Welcome to my world, bitch. I should warn you, princess... the first time tends to get a little... messy.
Freddy Krueger: What's wrong, Lori? Miss your wake-up call?
Freddy Krueger: [to Jason] I'm dying to see what skeletons are hidden in your closet.
Deputy Scott Stubbs: I don't know, maybe what we need to do is to offer Freddy a, a sacrifice.
Bill Freeburg: Yeah, yeah, totally. Like a, like a virgin, right? Someone pure.
[Everyone looks at Linderman]
Charlie Linderman: Dude, don't look at me. Even if you pay for it, it still counts.
Freddy Krueger: [In Westin Hills, possessed as Freeburg] These are my children, Jason. Go back to where you belong.
[in Lori's dream]
Dr. Campbell: Look at you, you're exhausted. We need to get you to...
[Dr. Campbell turns into Freddy Krueger]
Freddy Krueger: Bed.
Freddy Krueger: [after Gibb's death] No! She's Mine! Mine! *Mine!*
Kia Waterson: Do you guys thing I should get a nose job?
Lori Campbell: Oh, my God.
Gibb: Oh, please. Kia, what you need is a lobotomy.
Mark Davis: "Hypnocil." What does this shit do anyway? How come we all have to take it?
Kinsey Park: Keeps you nice and docile while I kick your little ass.
Mark Davis: [swallows pill with water] I'm fine with that.
Kinsey Park: [switches off the television] Sorry, Will. You know the rules.
Will Rollins: Turn that back on. I somebody who lives in that house. Come on, turn it back on, man. I never ask for anything. Just turn on the fucking TV, please.
[Male Nurse lays the tranquilizer kit in front of Will]
Will Rollins: Fuck you, man. What the fuck is your problem?
Mark Davis: [pulls Will away] What are you doing, man? You want 10 cc's of that pink tranquilizer in your ass?
Lori Campbell: [to Freddy] Freddy! Go to Hell!
[ignites propane tanks to blow up Freddy and Jason]
Kia Waterson: Linderman, you know, I always pictured you as a straight-up bed-wetter.
Charlie Linderman: You know what, Kia? I used to think you hated me because you thought I wasn't good enough for Lori, but that's not it. You tear me down to make yourself feel better, because you really hate yourself, which is kind of pathetic when you actually stop and think about it. Assuming, of course, you *can* think, with all that make-up weighing down your head.
[Linderman leaves; Kia and Lori look impressed]
[after Blake gets away]
Freddy Krueger: [to himself] Not strong enough, yet. Well, I will be soon enough. Until then... I'll let Jason have some fun.
Freddy Krueger: [to Lori] Think you're so smart! Huh, bitch?
Freddy Krueger: [to Lori] Your eyes say "no, no." But my mouth says "yes, yes."
Deputy Scott Stubbs: I think we're dealing with a copycat here.
Charlie Linderman: No. No. No, no, no. He's not a copycat. I've seen what he can do. He's the real Jason.
Deputy Scott Stubbs: That's impossible, Linderman. Jason is dead.
Bill Freeburg: Yeah, well, you better start thinking outside your little box, dude, 'cause somebody's definitely breaking the fucking reality rules, okay?
[Freddy is playing pinball with Jason, suddenly Jason hits the ceiling and falls straight down]
Freddy Krueger: Tilt!
[In Jason's dream, after being impaled to a tree with Jason's machete]
Heather: I should've been watching them, not drinking. not meeting a boy at the lake...
[Heather morphs into a dead boy killed by Jason in the past]
Dead boy on tree: I deserve to be punished...
[Dead boy morphs into a dead girl with her throat slit, another past victim of Jason]
Dead girl on tree: We all deserve to be punished...
[on top of a construction scaffold, yelling down to Jason]
Freddy Krueger: Hey, asshole! Up here!
[Jason looks up to see him and Freddy knocks down a stack of rebars which impale through Jason's body]
Lori Campbell: [From Trailer, Lori and Will are watching Freddy and Jason fight to the death] Freddy versus Jason. Place your bets.
Will Rollins: Let's go, we can't help her anymore.
Lori Campbell: No, I'm staying.
Will Rollins: Are you crazy? You got what you wanted, you pulled Freddy out. Now he's fighting Jason. Come on, what more do you want?
Lori Campbell: He killed my mother, Will. It was Freddy. My father covered it up to protect me. He didn't do it.
Will Rollins: Oh, my God.
Lori Campbell: Look, he has taken everything from us. He has ruined both of our pasts. And I am not leaving until I see him die.
[Freddy and Jason begin their fight]
Freddy Krueger: [to Lori] I've always had a thing for the whores that live in this house.
Freddy Krueger: [to Jason] Ahhh. So you are afraid of something after all, huh?
Little Girl: His name is Freddy Krueger... and he loves children, especially little girls. Freddy's coming back. Soon he'll be strong enough. It's okay to be afraid. We were all afraid. Warn your friends. Warn everyone.
[tormenting Mark in his nightmares]
Freddy Krueger: [disguised as Mark's brother] I need you to send a little message for me. That's all, just a little message.
Mark Davis: I'm not gonna do it. I won't do it!
[fully transformed back into himself]
Freddy Krueger: No?
[slams the gloved hand on the wall next to Mark's ear]
Mark Davis: I won't do it.
[grabs Mark by his shirt sleeves and points a bladed finger at him]
Freddy Krueger: I'll have to pass that message myself. Won't I, hmm?
Mark Davis: Do you want some free advice? Coffee. Make friends with it.
Mark Davis: [talking about Freddy] He's a child murderer. And some parents from around here burned him ALIVE. Then he came back; back for revenge in our nightmares.
Blake: My best friend was just KILLED Dad! So how about giving me some FUCKING SPACE?
Mark Davis: Do you want me to start having nightmares again?
Will Rollins: Don't start with that dream demon shit again. OK? You know that's all just in your head.
Mark Davis: Yeah, yeah, and who are you, the poster boy for sanity?
Lori Campbell: What is it, Linderman?
Charlie Linderman: Well, I heard what happened, and I just wanna express how - Or tell you how sorry I was.
Lori Campbell: Thank you. That's sweet.
Charlie Linderman: Right. You know, actually if you need anybody to talk to or maybe...
Kia Waterson: Whoa, Linderman, let me give you a tip. Place your hormones back in the box and quit while ahead, okay? We don't have time for date-a-dork right now. Thanks.
[Lori and Kia walk off]
Charlie Linderman: Right. Sorry.
Kia Waterson: I swear, every day is the same thing. He's like one of those fucking froufrou dogs that keeps humping your legs.
Beer Line Girl: The cops said Blake committed suicide. Apparently it was grief over Trey.
Beer Line Guy: No, man, that's bullshit. I heard some guy Krueger killed them both. Said his name to my parents, they almost shit themselves.
Bill Freeburg: Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, and I heard that Freddy freak, he used to live here. Fucking gutted Trey like a goddamn turkey, man. Like, I heard his intestines and shit was on the floor...
[Freeburg turns to see Trey's girlfriend, Gibb, glaring at him]
Bill Freeburg: Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
[Gibb throws her cup at Freeburg]
Lori Campbell: [to Linderman] What happened to your clothes?
Charlie Linderman: Oh, this?
[gestures to his alcohol-stained clothes]
Charlie Linderman: I was... playing a drinking game with some of the lower primates... and I guess I'm penalized for my ability to read above a fourth-grade level.
Lori Campbell: Welcome to my world, bitch!
[decapitates Freddy with Jason's machete]
Freddy Krueger: [to Jason] You think that I'm afraid of you? Huh? Now that we're in the real world? Come on!
[Jason swings his machete twice at Freddy and misses]
Freddy Krueger: You're slow, you're stupid, and you got no style.
[Jason swings machete down at Freddy and misses again, the machete gets stuck in the floorboard, Freddy kicks him in the groin]
Freddy Krueger: No balls, huh, Voorhees?
Kia Waterson: Oh, come on. We all know who the real virgin is here.
Lori Campbell: Kia!
Kia Waterson: Oh, come on, Lori. I know that you never made it with Will. Why would he want to, when he can fuck somebody like me?
Will Rollins: [laughs] Let's tie the bitch up.
Will Rollins: Freeburg, time to go. We gotta go. Now. Come on.
[Possessed By Freddy Krueger]
Bill Freeburg: Let me handle this, bitch.
Mark Davis: Kurt, how many times do I have to tell you, man? I don't do checkers. I'm a UNO guy, all right? So go grab the fucking UNO deck and we'll play, OK?
[Hears Trey from the cornstalks]
Trey: I'm dead one day and you're already out gettin' shitfaced? Same old Gibb.
Gibb: [Stammering] Trey, I, I can not believe it.
Trey: Come on, let's go.
Trey: Babe, don't make me ask you twice, okay?
[Lori is talking about her dream]
Lori: And there were these little girls, and they were singing this song like... like...
Mark Davis: One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Do you know why they sing that? Because that's when he comes for you.
Will Rollins: The reason I was sent to Westin is because I saw your dad kill your mom.
Lori Campbell: Will, mom died in a car accident.
Will Rollins: Well, he wanted you to believe that, but I was there, Lori.
Lori Campbell: Did mom die in a car accident?
Dr. Campbell: Yes, of course she did.
Lori Campbell: Prove it. Show me a death certificate. Show me an off top zero report.
Dr. Campbell: Lori, I don't think now it's the right time...
Lori Campbell: Really, dad? Because I think it's the perfect time! Why don't you tell me about Westin Hills? Do you work there? Because I thought you're a fucking General Practitioner!
Dr. Campbell: Yes. I do some consulting there now, but... it isn't what you think.
Lori Campbell: Oh, my god. So you knew about Will this whole time.