According to Jim (TV Series 2001–2009) Poster


Jim Belushi: Jim



  • Cheryl : Jim, are you listening to yourself?

    Jim : Yes I am, Cheryl. I *am* a genius. I can talk and listen to myself at the same time!

  • Jim : Everyone, circumcise your watches!

  • Cheryl : [Cheryl is desperate to talk Jim out of wanting something, and is trying to think of things to replace it]  How about... sex with another woman?

    Jim : [brief pause]  You or me?

  • Jim : You don't even know me any more! I think we should have more sex.

    Cheryl : Why?

    Jim : Why not?

  • Ruby : Daddy, since Gracie won, can Kyle and I have popsicles?

    Jim : How does that work?

    Ruby : She's our sister, we're part of her posse.

  • Jim : Do you want Cheryl to make you a sandwich?

    Dana : I don't think that'll help, Jim.

    Jim : [pause]  Do you want to make *me* a sandwich...?

  • Jim : [under his breath]  That's the great thing about you, honey... you remember every freakin' thing I say.

  • Kyle : I want a sponge bath, from a nurse.

    Cheryl : What?

    Kyle : Uncle Andy says there the best!

    Jim : I think sometimes Andy forgets that Kyle's in the back seat.

  • Cheryl : Jim, there's a lot of culture in this city. We should take advantage of it.

    Jim : What? I take you to the zoo.

  • Jim : OK, I stacked the cat in the freezer.

  • Andy : [telling Jim that he's found the bird they didn't want to find]  Jim! B-I-R-D A-T S-I-X O-'-C-L-O-C-K!

    Jim : [confused]  ... You want to have sex with a clock?

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