Alias (TV Series 2001–2006) Poster


Greg Grunberg: Eric Weiss



  • Sydney : You've lost weight.

    Agent Eric Weiss : Yeah, I stopped eating all the foods I like. I'm miserable, but I look really good.

  • Sydney : Weiss, have you seen Vaughn?

    Weiss : That's all I am to you - just a conduit to Vaughn. Have you ever seen Vaughn and said "Hey, where's Weiss?"

  • [talking about Sydney] 

    Weiss : So she gave you a drawer, huh?

    Vaughn : It was a gesture of convenience.

    Weiss : And, uh, what did you put it in?

    Vaughn : Why do you care?

    Weiss : What do you mean, why do I care? Do you know how spoiled you are? You know, a drawer! I wish I had a girlfriend to say 'Hey, do you want a drawer?'

    Vaughn : I'll give you a drawer at my place.

    Weiss : I don't want a drawer at your place.

  • [Sydney and Vaughn walk into Syd's apartment, Vaughn's cell phone rings] 

    Vaughn : Hello?

    Agent Eric Weiss : Hey, Kendall has something he wants to show you.

    Vaughn : Ah, can it wait?

    Agent Eric Weiss : Apparently not, he wants to Sydney too. Are you with her?

    Vaughn : Ah, no. I haven't seen her.

    Agent Eric Weiss : You're in bed with her right now, aren't you?

    Vaughn : Trying. Just find out what he wants.

  • [Vaughn and Weiss watch as a sleazy bad guy leers at Sydney while she's in disguise as a prostitute] 

    Vaughn : That son of a bitch!

    Weiss : Easy, come on.

    Vaughn : I swear I'm gonna to kill this guy.

    Weiss : There's no way that guy smells as good as you do.

    Vaughn : It's aftershave, I got a new aftershave.

    Weiss : Yeah, well, I'd lighten up on it a little.

    Vaughn : Yeah?

    Weiss : Oh yeah. To the point of non-use.

  • Agent Eric Weiss : Did you ever stop to think that the reason you and Sydney work so well together is because of the feelings you have for each other?


    Agent Eric Weiss : How's that for spin?

    Vaughn : Pretty good.

  • Weiss : Hey, you sure you don't want to talk about this?

    Vaughn : There's nothing to talk about.

    Weiss : I share my fights with you.

    Vaughn : No you don't.

    Weiss : Yeah I do. Remember when Alan pissed in the living room?

    Vaughn : That was your dog!

    Weiss : Yeah, but I was angry about it and I let you know how upset I was.

  • [Weiss has just prompted Vaughn to finally ask Sydney out on a date while on a mission in Nice] 

    Weiss : And?

    Vaughn : We're going to dinner.

    [Weiss breaks into a celebratory dance] 

    Vaughn : I'm going to keep my comm channel open. I need you to monitor the RF frequency.

    Weiss : Got it. Okay, in exchange I get an eclair.

    Vaughn : No, I'm serious, any suspect signal and I want to know about it. Anything.

    Weiss : If they're small, bring at least two!

  • Weiss : Okay, whenever you want to have that talk...

    Vaughn : What talk?

    Weiss : About the cologne or whatever the hell you're wearing.

    Vaughn : I'm not wearing cologne.

    Weiss : Well, something's going on. No man naturally smells as good as you do right now.

  • Weiss : By the power invested in me by the United Church of Mammals, I now pronounce you man and wife.

  • Sophia Vargas/Elena Derevko : Eric, you have no idea how exited I am to meet you. Nadia says the most beautiful things about you.

    [she walks away] 

    Agent Eric Weiss : [obviously happy]  Really?

    Nadia Santos : She asked me if you were tall, dark and handsome. I told her you were tall.

    [they kiss] 

  • [Vaughn is beating a punching bag, obviously angry] 

    Agent Eric Weiss : The bag is dead, I think you can stop now.

    Vaughn : Thanks for coming.

    Agent Eric Weiss : Thanks for sweating.

  • Weiss : So, in a case like this, we start by digitizing all the news coverage that covered the bombing. You, uh, you like Italian food?

    Christine Phillips : I have a boyfriend.

    [Weiss looks up as Vaughn walks in the room] 

    Weiss : Yeah, me too.

  • Weiss : Jack is going to shoot you in the face.

    Vaughn : Just give me a half-hour head start. Tell him that she called your phone and you gave it to me. We only have ten hours to find Kaplan.

    Weiss : If we end up sharing a cell in federal prison, I'm not giving you a drawer.

  • Agent Eric Weiss : You really want some space, or are you and I going to go get drunk? 'Cause there's this bar - you won't even remember it tomorrow.

  • Sydney : [about Allison/Francie]  Why didn't she kill me?

    Weiss : Maybe she likes you.

    Sydney : Weiss, I'm serious.

    Weiss : So am I! Come on. She lived with you for months. She doubled herself as your best friend. Maybe in that time, she started to like you. I could see that happening.

  • Weiss : How are you doing?

    Vaughn : Fine.

    Weiss : Hey, guess what? It's me. Come on, how're you doing?

    Vaughn : I'm hanging in there.

    Weiss : How's Lauren about it?

    Vaughn : She didn't remember.

    Weiss : And, you didn't say anything?

    Vaughn : No. I mean, she's got a lot on her mind.

    Weiss : Yeah, that's probably it.

  • Agent Eric Weiss : You don't poop where you sleep.

  • Agent Eric Weiss : What is this, the flirting corner?

  • Vaughn : Hey, what did you say before about Haladki?

    Weiss : I don't think he showers?

  • Weiss : Will he ever open his eyes?

    Marshall : Babies sleep, Weiss, you know. That's what they do, except when they're screaming. Last night, from midnight to six.

    Sydney : He's gorgeous, Marshall.

    Marshall : Thanks.

See also

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