Rush Hour 2 (2001)
Ricky Tan: [while Lee is holding him at gunpoint] Would you like me to tell you how your father died?
[Lee cocks his gun]
James Carter: Hey, hey. Wait one second, Lee. It ain't worth it, man. He's trying to trick you. Don't go too far, man.
Ricky Tan: He never begged for his life. Or tried to make a deal.
James Carter: Put the gun down.
Ricky Tan: All he asked me... just seconds before I pulled the trigger... was that I promise not to kill you. Oh, he was so pathetic.
James Carter: Oh hell no, he done went too far now, Lee. Shoot his ass right now, Lee. Shoot his ass!
Ricky Tan: What are you doing to do, Lee?
James Carter: All you gotta do is pull that trigger back and BAM!
Ricky Tan: Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding like your father?
James Carter: Man, don't let him talk about your daddy like that! Shoot him, Lee!
Ricky Tan: Can't do it, can you?
James Carter: Yes, hell you can Lee. Ain't nobody up here but us, man.
Ricky Tan: Just as I thought.
James Carter: Go off on him, man, he's trying to punk you! Shoot him!
Ricky Tan: Go on!
James Carter: If you ain't gonna shoot him, kung fu his ass or something!
James Carter: Who died, Lee?
James Carter: Detective Yu?
Lee: Not Yu, you!
James Carter: Who?
James Carter: Who?
Lee: Do you understand the words that are a-coming out of my mouth?
James Carter: Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth.
Lee: Let me tell you something about Asians, we never panic.
James Carter: Oh yeah, when Godzilla be coming, y'all be trippin': "Giaca! Giaca!"
Lee: These men are Triads. The most deadly gang in China.
James Carter: You think they scare me? I'm from Los Angeles, man. We invented gangs!
[during a fight scene with a bunch of Chinese men]
James Carter: [after accidentally punching Lee] Sorry, man!
James Carter: All y'all look alike!
[Carter attempted to speak Chinese to everybody but had no idea what he said]
James Carter: What did I just say?
Lee: You just ask everybody to pick up their Samurai swords and shave your butt.
[about to fight Hu Li]
James Carter: I'm gonna pretend you a man. A very beautiful man with a great body that I'd like to take to the movies.
James Carter: [after Hu Li is knocked out] You know, we could have been a good couple. We could have had something special. But you one crazy-ass bitch!
Lee: You are a civilian. In Hong Kong, *I* am Michael Jackson and *you* are Toto.
James Carter: You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate for dinner last night!
James Carter: Why didn't you tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?
Lee: I did.
James Carter: No you did not!
Lee: I said "mmm!"
James Carter: What the hell is "mmm! mmm!"
Lee: mmm, mmm. Bomb!
James Carter: [In a casino] I have a dream! That white people, and black people... and even Chinese people, can gamble together without getting different chips!
Audience: [Applause, Cheering]
James Carter: [Sees that Lee no longer needs a distraction] Whoa, whoa, whoa... in the spirit of brotherhood... let's just play craps man.
James Carter: How come you ain't got no black people performing in this casino? We ain't good enough for you?
Pit Boss: We got Lionel Ritchie!
James Carter: Lionel Ritchie ain't been black since the commodores!
[Carter throws Lee's CD out the window]
Lee: That's my CD! Don't you ever touch a Chinese man's CD!
Kenny: [pointing to Carter] Why are you hangin' out with 7-11?
Kenny: Because his mouth never closes.
James Carter: [in English] Hey I heard that!
[Carter tried to pick up two girls in Chinese]
James Carter: All I did was invite them to have a drink.
Lee: You invited them to get naked and sacrifice a small goat.
James Carter: Which word was 'goat'?
Lee: I'm sorry.
James Carter: You sorry? I got somebodies old chopsticks stuck up my ass and all you gotta say to me is you sorry?
James Carter: Don't be messing with me, Lee. I will slap you so hard you'll end up in the Ming Dynasty. I mean it man, I'll bitch slap you back to Bangkok!
[outtake, after Ricky Tan falls to his death]
James Carter: Damn! He ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3.
James Carter: Just tell me how the Triads gonna kill us.
Lee: They will torture us for three days.
James Carter: Okay, I can handle that.
Lee: Then they will cut off our eggrolls.
James Carter: Cut off our eggrolls? Hell no! Lets get the hell outta here! C'mon man, don't give up!
James Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter's new theory of criminal investigation: follow the rich white man.
Lee: Follow the rich white man?
James Carter: Behind every big crime there's a rich white man waiting for his cut.
James Carter: Secret Service Agent James Carter, I like the sound of it. Won't be long before I'm in Washington D.C. protectin' the President.
Lee: We both know you wouldn't take a bullet for someone else.
James Carter: Yeah but they don't know that.
James Carter: All right, listen up! All the Triads and the ugly women on this side, and all the fine women on this side, right now!
James Carter: Couldn't help noticin' how she was staring at a brother.
Lee: She never even look at you.
James Carter: You just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you third world ugly.
Lee: I am not third world ugly, women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.
Kenny: How you gonna come up in here and jam me up like this James, huh? You embarass me in front of my wife, my kids out there.
James Carter: Kenny you embarassin' yourself, you a black man with a Chinese restaurant on Crenshaw.
James Carter: I can't believe I flew 10,000 miles for this shit!
[Carter has just been hit on by the gay Versace Salesman]
James Carter: Did you see that?
Lee: He likes you.
James Carter: I ain't shopping with you no more.
[outtake, cell phone rings and Tucker answers]
James Carter: Hello? I'm filming man. Call me back at 7... I'm filming, I'm looking at Jackie Chan dead in his eye. Call me back.
Lee: [pointing at the camera] We're on a... We're...
James Carter: Call me back!
Lee: Are you a professional? We are filming and you turn on your phone?
James Carter: No, you can't speak to Jackie Chan.
James Carter: No! They want to speak to you, Jackie.
Lee: [Tucker hands the phone to Jackie] Hello?
James Carter: I'm sorry about this.
Lee: We're... We're filming right now!
Lee: You're sorry? You wasted all our film!
James Carter: [Takes phone back] Call me back later, 7 o'clock!
[Tucker hangs up, crew applause and laughter, Jackie points at Tucker]
Lee: Where did you learn that?
Kenny: Master Ching.
Lee: Master Ching of Hong Kong?
Kenny: No, Freddy Ching on Crenshaw.
Lee: [In English] They're brothers.
Old Lady on Stairs in Bamboo-Climbing Fight: [to James Carter] Move aside, Kobe!
James Carter: [Snatching away a Chinese gangster's towel and looking at him naked] No wonder you mad!
James Carter: I'm tall, dark and handsome, and you're third world ugly.
Lee: I always dreamed of going to Madison Square Gardens, see the Knicks play.
James Carter: New York City?
Lee: First class.
James Carter: The Plaza hotel.
Lee: Maybe some mu shu.
James Carter: I could use another vacation.
James Carter: Oh I know I don't think I see what I see what I'm thinking. I know good and well y'all ain't gambling back here, this supposed to be a Chinese Restaurant!
[running down a Hong Kong street]
James Carter: Out of the way! LAPD!
James Carter: Hey Lee! What are you doing?
James Carter: Dancing! Man, im up here working, putting my life on the line, and you up here messing around, dancing with some Bimbo... Does she have a friend?
Lee: [exasperated sigh] You will never understand me.
James Carter: You right, because I didn't even understand what you said to me right then!
Ricky Tan: I enjoyed that little story you told about the dragon and the treasure. My mother used to tell it to me all the time. Do you know the moral of that story?
Steven Reign: Greed will imprison us all.
[Ricky stabs Reign]
Ricky Tan: I hate that fortune cookie shit.
Lee: I'll meet you at the bar in ten minutes. They don't like tourists in here, so try to blend in.
James Carter: Blend in? I'm two feet taller than everyone in here.
James Carter: I don't like my chickens alive, I like 'em dead and deep fried. You ever heard of Popeye's?
James Carter: When the shootin' started, he was way too cool. And normally when there's shootin' white people aren't that cool, man. They either run around in circles, or screaming out 'Aaaaagh!'
James Carter: No, I'm Lee's new muscle. And don't let this robe fool you, this is the only color they had left.
James Carter: [after Lee kicks Ricky Tan out of a window and onto a cab] Damn! Good kick, Lee.
Lee: It was an accident.
James Carter: That's okay. We'll just say he tried to catch a cab.
James Carter: [In a casino] My people did not go through 362 years of slavery just so you could send us back to the cotton fields with $500 chips!
James Carter: Now why did you say it was a bomb.
Lee: No you said that!
James Carter: No you said it!
Lee: You said that in the hotel room.
James Carter: I said 'she was the bomb'.
Lee: She was the bomb?
James Carter: [Approaching a Chinese soul food restaurant] This is my informer's place. They got some good ribs here too.
James Carter: Who put their hand on my butt? Do it again.
Massage Parlor Hostess: Follow her to the Quiet Room.
James Carter: Ain't gonna be no quiet room no more.
James Carter: Whoa, man. I ain't going in there!
Lee: Come on!
James Carter: There's rats in there!
Lee: There's no rats!
James Carter: Look at that rat!
[Lee leaves, and Carter reluctantly follows]
Hu Li: [watching Isabella while carving an apple with a knife] I do not trust her.
Triad: Our orders are to leave her alone.
Hu Li: [puts on a fake smile for Isabella, still speaking in Cantonese] I want to slice those pretty lips off her face. Bury her in the desert with those two cops.
[in English, to Isabella]
Hu Li: Some apple?
Isabella: [takes apple] You'd better put that knife away, bitch, before you have an accident.
[Hu Li throws the knife and hits the apple as Isabella takes a bite]
Lee: I'm not third world ugly, women like me! They think I'm cute, like... Snoopy.
James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is six inches taller than you.
James Carter: Gotta be somethin' you want?
Lee: I've always wanted to go to Square Mad - -...
Lee: I always want to go to square... I
Lee: I've always dreamed to Square Marden...
[Jackie and Chris laugh]
Lee: I always wanted to go to Square 3,2...
[laughing and Jackie tampers]
Lee: Now I'm gone. Now I'm nervous. Every garden I'm nervous! Madison Square Garden.
Lee: I always want to go to Square...
[Jackie and Chris laugh]
[after Isabella kisses Lee]
James Carter: I saw that. You played it smooth too, walkin' away like that.
Lee: Yeah, I'm a player.
Lee: Stop, I'm sick of your bullshit.
James Carter: And I'm sick of you! I'm not the one running up in Karaoke bars full of gangsters. And I'm not the one running up in massage parlors looking for crime lords.
James Carter: [to Lee at a massage parlor] What's wrong with you man? You never step in front of a black man at a buffet line.
Lee: Carter, you don't understand.
James Carter: Oh I understand, man. I got knocked off a building, I got beat on, I got stripped butt-naked and you held out on me. I'm outta here.
Massage Parlor Hostess: You ever have massage by Chinese girl before?
James Carter: No, but I heard it was the bomb.
James Carter: I'm gonna give you an L.A.P.D ass-whuppin'!
Lee: You owe me a copy of the Beach Boy's greatest hits.
James Carter: Don't you go having gettin' an attitude with me Lee. I been here three days and ain't done nothin' but work your cases. The only reason why I'm here in Hong Kong is 'cause you said you was gonna show me a good time. I'm on vacation, man! and I want some mu shu.
Lee: Mushu, you hungry?
James Carter: No, not mushu? MU shu. I want to see some women man. Now, stop playing dumb and take me to the SHU.
James Carter: What was that? Did you just take another damn case on my vacation man?
James Carter: There's two billion Chinese people here, let one of them be your partner!
James Carter: [singing] Don't stop till you get enough!
James Carter: Cha-mon!
James Carter: Cha-mon, Lee!
James Carter: [sings] I'll be right back! I'll be right back!
James Carter: Lee, what happened?
Lee: You left me!
James Carter: No, I didn't! I was waitin' up there for you!
James Carter: I heard that. I heard that. Don't be talkin' 'bout me, man!
James Carter: Throw it Lee!
James Carter: Lee Throw it!
James Carter: Throw the bomb over the edge! Throw it, throw it! Throw it over the edge!
Lee: No, there's people down there.
James Carter: Lee throw it!
James Carter: Lee!
James Carter: ...Lee!
James Carter: What in the hell is going on up in here? Am I the only one listening to this? The man destroyin' a classic! BOO!
[Lee and Carter are trying to get a bomb out of Isabella's suite]
James Carter: [to Lee] Kick the door.
Lee: [Lee kicks open the door] No, no, no, no, no.
[takes the bomb from Isabella]
James Carter: [looking at Isabella in her bra and panties] Damn you look fine.
Captain Chin: [to HKPD officers] Escort Detective Carter to the airport.
Lee: No, I'll take him.
James Carter: [to HKPD officers] *Get* your hands off!
[Carter enters the room while Lee is holding Ricky Tan at gunpoint]
James Carter: Hey Ricky, how you doing? Lee, I see you've got everything under control, man, I'm gonna go downstairs and...
[sees Reign's dead body]
James Carter: God damn! What happened to Reign?
Captain Chin: Chief Inspector Lee will supervise your people.
Agent Sterling: No, he will report to me. Do we understand each other?
[Lee and Carter pass through the room naked]
Agent Sterling: Who the hell is that?
Captain Chin: That is, uh... Chief Inspector Lee.
Versace Salesman: Mmmmm, butter cream, butter cream, croc skin, butter cream...
James Carter: Oh I know I don't think I see what I see what I'm thinkin!
Suit Salesman: [Carter's walking on the streets of Hong Kong, looking for Heaven on Earth massage parlour] Cheap suits! Cheap suits!
James Carter: How cheap?
Suit Salesman: Cheap suits!
[the Salesman leads Carter inside]
James Carter: Where are you going?
James Carter: Well, hurry up. Cause we're going to party. Party!