The Princess Diaries (2001) Poster

Hector Elizondo: Joe



  • Joe : I have never put on pantihose before, but it sounds dangerous.

  • Joe : [speaking to Mia]  Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

  • Mia : Hey Joe? Can we park a block away from school? I really don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.

    Joe : This is a non-riot hearse. And if it were a hearse there would be silence in the backseat.

  • [trying to recall the names of Lana and friends] 

    Joe : Anna, Falana, Banana, Bandana, Montana...

  • Joe : This is between a waltz and a tango.

    Mia : It's a wango?

  • Lilly : Michael, don't always think you could get a ride with us and...

    [sees Mia's new look] 

    Lilly : Oy. Who destroyed you?

    Mia : Oh. You-you think it looks that bad?

    Lilly : You look ridiculous. You should sue.

    Mia : Well um... I know it's a little straighter and shorter and...

    Lilly : Weirder!

    [Get's in limo] 

    Michael : An attractive weirder.

    Lilly : No, it's not attractive!

    Joe : Seat belts, please.

    Lilly : What I really can't understand is that you ditched me again yesterday when I really needed your help at the greenpeace petition.

    [picks up bag] 

    Lilly : These bags! You HAVE one of these bags? You know, we could hock that and feed a whole third world country!

    [Looks at Michael] 

    Lilly : Am I right?

    Michael : No.

    Joe : If there are no more passengers, I think we should close the door.

  • Mia : [voiceover]  Dear Diary, today is my first official day as Princess of Genovia. We'll land in a few hours, and I'll meet Parliament and the people before beginning my royal duties. Mom is, of course, moving to Genovia with me, and we'll continue painting - without the balloons. Lilly and Michael are planning to spend their summer vacation at our - can you believe it - palace. They're even having my Mustang brought over, which I can legally drive in two weeks. Grandma's so glad to be going home, and Joseph - well, he's watching nearby as usual. Everybody's got pre-coronation jitters, including me. Everybody that is, except Fat Louie. He's totally adapted to being a royal. I guess he was one all along.

    Joe : [voiceover]  Princess, look out the window... and welcome to Genovia.

  • Mia : Joseph, can we eighty-six the flags please?

    Joe : No. The flags allow me to park anywhere. We keep the flags.

    Mia : Sorry, Joseph.

    Joe : You can call me, "Joe".

    Mia : "Joey"?


    Joe : [Chuckles then abruptly turns serious]  No. Joe.

  • Mia : Hey, Joe?

    Joe : Mm-Hmmm?

    Mia : I'm gonna turn the backseat into a dressing room so I can change into a proper outfit for Madame, OK?

    Joe : OK. And don't forget your shoes.

    Mia : Ahh, thanks.

    Joe : Strange town, San Francisco. When I purchased the pumps, they asked if I wanted them wrapped or if I was going to wear them.

  • Joe : No matter how many times you press that, it will still go up and down the same way.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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