Zoolander (2001) Poster


Jerry Stiller: Maury Ballstein



  • Maury Ballstein : Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

  • Derek Zoolander : God?

    Maury Ballstein : God? What the shit are you talkin' about. It's me, Maury.

  • Maury Ballstein : What do we do when we fall off the horse?

    Derek Zoolander : [thoughtfully looking up and mouthing the words silently]  ... fall off the horse...

    Maury Ballstein : [looking to supply finish]  ... we... get back on!

    Derek Zoolander : Sorry, Maury. I'm not a gymnast.

  • Maury Ballstein : For Christ's sake it's a casserole Sheila... it'll stay!

  • Maury Ballstein : I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

  • Maury Ballstein : The designer's got your nuts in a vice! He's offering you three percent for every pair of underwear sold! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!

    Kids : Screw Him! Hold out for more!

  • Maury Ballstein : You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there.

  • Maury Ballstein : It's a casserole Sheila... it'll keep!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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