Dick Steele, Agent WD-40 is assigned by his Director, to stop the evil General Rancor from destroying the world. WD-40 believed Rancor was dead and he teams up with the hot K.G.B. Agent Veronique Ukrinsky to find Rancor and save the world.
Notoriously maladroit golf enthusiast Nielsen returns to the green, dispensing more how-to tips for the beginning bad golfer. Includes advice on how to reduce your score by skipping the ... See full summary »
When odd reports are received through official channels stating that the President of the United States is being held captive on a secret international moon base called Vegan and that he has been replaced on Earth by a clone, the US Marshal Service immediately sends their 'best' man, Marshal Richard 'Dick' Dix, on the mission. Dix travels to Vegan to rescue the president, but is quickly duped and ends up returning to Earth where he installs the clone-president and removes the real one. The bumbling Dix must then find a way to restore the real president before aliens take over the Earth, and restore in himself a belief in truth, justice and the American way.Written by
At the start of the film, the camera is reflected in the SWAT van. See more »
Richard 'Dick' Dix:
Now I know what it was like to be a Roman candle on the fourth of July, that this hero stuff was not for me. I was ready to get back on the beat, hear the wail of sirens and play with my handcuffs and my gun. Yes, I was ready to plant my flag back in Washington D.C., where every Congressman has the Constitutional right to be a felon. Good old America.
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Crapper-Dumper .. This is not a Typo Elevator Operator .. Old Man Cranshaw Cross Dresser .. J. Edgar Hoover ... DON'T LEAVE! LOTS MORE WILD AND CRAZY CREDITS TO COME! ... Daily Electricians .. [...] Thomas A. Edison Hey There Lonely Boy .. Ruby and the Romantics Hit Song Swing Your Partner .. Round and Round Famous Painter .. Leonardo Da Vinci ... TEA AND COOKIES FOR AUDIENCE MEMBERS WHO STAY TILL THE END OF THE CREDITS! ... Chief Make-Out Artist .. Sergio "The Bull" Bafungulo ... THIS SPACE FOR RENT ... Special Make Up Effects .. Lon Chaney, Jr. Extras Wrangler .. Annie Bordeau For the Best Strip Clubs in Town Call .. Bart Crabmeister Driven to Insanity Alan Shearman Assistants to the Assistants I.P. Day, Mungoo Ganja, Iva Neuschlong Photocopier De-Blocker .. Jim "I Haven't Got a Clue" Dicktop Lip Service .. Laurie Clamidia Long Distance Runner .. Jed Wheezer Tail Supervisor .. Boris Yeltsin Great Head .. Valerie Dorkfit Foreskin .. Rabbi Shlomo Focukakta The Carpenters .. Karen and Richard Assistant Carpenters .. [...] Jesus of Nazareth Painters .. Vincent van Gogh Plastered .. Buck Livergone Drug Runner .. Emilio Jesus, Estor Miguel Maria Jones Fluffer .. Lola Vivacious Local Shop Keepers .. Dale and Bob Flatbed Weekly Fourth Assistant Directors .. Terrence Halflife, Margaret Pigshoof, Vinnie "The Accountant" Stugazz, Rugsham "Give it to me, Baby?" Singh Memo to Post Supervisor from Producers .. You're Fired Clap Trap .. Tiajuana Sue Ladies Man .. Jock Sinep Polly Grip .. A Denture Aid The Number of the Beast .. 666 ... [TAP-TAP] HELLO-OH? IS THIS ON? [TAP-TAP] ... Really Good Beer .. Anything Brewed in Bavaria Das Kapital .. Karl Marx Really Expensive Whatchamacallit CGI Machine Operator .. Wolfgang "Let's Do It in CGI" Pixelkopf Moldy Cheese Maker .. Hervé Lactose - Bangkok Unit Rikshaw Driver .. Phon Duck Tu Thanks for the Great Weekend, Duck Tu! - Moon Unit Director .. Xtro Isitope First Assistant Director .. Manfred "I Can't Work Under These Zero Gravity Conditions" Fredman Director Of Photography .. System "5/ZXB20-20" - Optical Cyborg First Assistant Cameraman .. Ragstrum ^&*()(%$#!!**&^ (pronounced "Smith") Special Effects Supervisor .. Zujj Al Nushshabah (not to be mistaken with Zujj Al Nushshabah from star cluster ZN5311,ATP187) Location Manager .. Nicky "The Glow Worm" Radium Anti Matter .. The Evil Captain Kirk Minutely Detailed Miniature Spacecraft Never Used .. Timmy "Get a Life" Glueschinoz Space Stuff Consultants .. Stephen Hawkins, Albert Einstein Slime Removal .. Gacrux Alien Residual Disposal, Inc. "Nothing Grosses Us Out" Space Debris Provided By .. The Papua New Guinea Space Agency - Fart Sound Effects Courtesy of .. Franc and Beens Jet Propulsion Laboratories Film Sprocket Hole Puncher .. Yankl "The Knife" Moyle The Producers Want to Thank .. God (for saving our ass) ... FAGITABOUTIT! ... AH...WELL...IT SEEMS THE CATERER FORGOT TO SHOW UP WITH TEA AND COOKIES. SORRY. INSTEAD FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE, WE PRESENT FARTSOUND EFFECTS OUTTAKES... ... The Standard, Everyday Fart The Girlie Fart The Hairy Truck Driver Fart The Squishy Fart The "Thank God, I Just Made It To The Bathroom" Fart The "No, No, That Was Me Getting Up From A Vinyl Couch" Fart The Misfire Fart The Royal Ripper Fart See more »
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Leslie, Leslie, Leslie, what happened to the days when you asked us to stop calling you Shirley? To the days when you and that Priscilla whatever-her-last-name-is were laughing while walking out of a movie theater playing, "Platoon"? To the days when--
I guess you get the idea. It's not that Leslie Nielson doesn't have the acting ability; it's that the movie is probably the stupidest and worst comedy to come along in my lifetime. It broke dead even with Mystic River in the laughs department: none (unless you count after the movie, in which case Mystic River is way ahead. Academy Awards, ha!). I kept waiting for something funny to happen and the movie to suddenly go good, for everyone to pop out and go, "Hey! It was all just a joke! We only wanted you to think that the movie sucked because then the rest of the movie is great!"
Didn't happen. Avoid at all costs. I mean, I LOVE Leslie Nielson and it still sucked. Oh, well; at least he's not doing porn.
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