Harry Donovan: When are you gonna realize that all of this art crap is a fraud? Otherwise, how could the same picture be worth $10 million or zip based on, what, a signature? Rembrandt is priceless. Donovan is worthless. That's not art. That's autographs.
Prof. Marieke van den Broeck: How do you like the book?
Harry Donovan: I don't like books.
Prof. Marieke van den Broeck: Just look at the pictures?
Harry Donovan: Yeah, ever since I was a little boy.
Prof. Marieke van den Broeck: You don't have any friends.
Harry Donovan: Oh yeah? Why's that?
Prof. Marieke van den Broeck: You're an ogre. You don't like people.
Harry Donovan: What?
Prof. Marieke van den Broeck: You don't like people.
Harry Donovan: Oh, I like people.
Prof. Marieke van den Broeck: Name one.
Harry Donovan: I like people.
Alastair Davies: I want you to paint me... a Rembrandt.
Harry Donovan: [pause] But only Rembrandt can paint Rembrandt.
Harry Donovan: I'm not a shoe-maker, and I don't work for slobs off the street. I work with people that I know. You can leave now.
Alastair Davies: It's a circular problem.
Harry Donovan: Now, do I have to knock your ass down the stairs?
Alastair Davies: No, no. Gentlemen. Um, we'll be staying at the Carlyle until, uh, Sunday. Think it over.
Harry Donovan: Watch your fingers.
[Harry slams the door shut as they leave]
Harry Donovan: I just don't understand why you guys have to sit here and piss on other people, let alone Rembrandt.
Cafe intellectual: Professor Scheerding *proved* that the painting, The Man With The Golden Helmet, is just a cheap fake.
Prof. Scheerding: I'm sure you know that, uh, in 1930 there were over 800 *supposed* Rembrandts.
Harry Donovan: And now we're down to 241, thanks to you and your friends - and dropping. So, bully for you! Every schoolkid's favorite picture is now junk, because some self-appointed windbag has said so. You know, the problem is, in 10 years time there's not gonna be *any* Rembrandts. Just a big pile of *theses*.
Prof. Scheerding: We have said something to offend you?
Harry Donovan: Me? I'm never offended by flatulence. I just move away from its smell. Bye.
Harry Donovan: Do you have any money?
Prof. Marieke van den Broeck: Why, you want to steal it?
Harry Donovan: Yes.