Almost Heroes (1998) Poster


Steven M. Porter: Higgins


  • Jackson : Sir, Higgins has a story.

    Edwards : Well, Higgins the floor is yours.

    Higgins : This particular event happened last summer on my uncle's farm in Virginia. My brother and I had just finished cutting a field of hay and were enjoying the evening meal under the shade of an elm tree. He went down for water by the creek and when he was gone, I took a bowl that was filled with delicious plum pudding and placed into it, not one, but two large pieces of sheep shit. When he returned I encouraged him to taste the plum pudding... And as sure as Im standing before you, he did! He ate it all. Shit Pudding!

    Edwards : You got your brother to eat sheep dung. That is a very interesting story.

    Hunt : Tell him the ending, that's the best part.

    Higgins : Oh yeah. To be perfectly honest with you sir, I have no brother. It was me. I ate sheep shit! Swear to God.

    Edwards : Clever twist there on the ending.

  • Hunt : What I remembered the most were the animals.

    Edwards : [smiles]  Ah, the animals...

    Hunt : Fearsome beasts of the mountains and plains. I've seen a bear so powerful... that it *snapped* a man's body in half with his huge jaws. Garrgghh! Garrgghh! I've seen a badger with paws as big as frying pans. And that'd rip your face right off! Right off! Nothing you can do with that! Just rip it off! Once there was a hawk that swooped down from the sky... Aggghhh! Aggghhh! Aggghhh! And plucked a man's eyeballs out of his sockets. Auuuggghhh! Auuuggghhh! The fella was screaming, "I'm blind! I can't see!" *Twice* when I was fishing...

    Higgins : [Horrified]  THERE'S AN ANIMAL NOW!

    [everyone except Edwards and Hunt starts firing at the animal] 

    Higgins : We can't kill it! We're all dead! God save us!

    Hunt : Hold your fire! Hold your fire!

    [everyone stops firing. Hunt looks closely and sees that the animal is just a squirrel nibbling on an acorn] 

    Hunt : It's only a squirrel.

    Pratt : He's got something in his hand!

    Guy Fontenot : Something in his hand!

    [they continue firing at the squirrel] 

See also

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