The Net (1995) Poster


Dennis Miller: Dr. Alan Champion



  • Dr. Alan Champion : I figured you'd be hungry, so I stopped on the way over. I got your favorite, Chinese.

    Angela : Um, it's your favorite. I never really cared for it, remember?

    Dr. Alan Champion : Ah, it's immaterial, I knew it was somebody's favorite.

  • Dr. Alan Champion : Will you be handling the outpatient care, nurse?

    Angela : Well, do you mind?

    Dr. Alan Champion : Visions of sponge baths dance in my head.

  • Dr. Alan Champion : This is bizarre. I haven't seen you in so long. What are we even doing here?

    Angela : Um, I just figured you would be safe.

    Dr. Alan Champion : Oh great, so I've gone from being a self-centered asshole to safe. Thank you very much.

    Angela : No, I just figured that they couldn't, um, trace me to you and that your, your patient records are confidential, right?

    Dr. Alan Champion : My patient records! Yeah, I knew I had my subtle charms.

  • [Alan holds up martini glasses] 

    Dr. Alan Champion : Guess what time it is? Gibsons! Almost. We have no onions, so we'll have to use these: Seldane, the antihistamine of champions.

  • Dr. Alan Champion : You know, what's frightening me is, I'm starting to think that you're not delusional.

  • [On a friend of Alan Champion's, who works for the FBI] 

    Angela Bennett : Do you trust him?

    Dr. Alan Champion : Sure, I trust him. I used to hold his head over the toilet at frat parties.

See also

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