Ghostbusters II (1989)
Harold Ramis: Dr. Egon Spengler
Egon : Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.
Peter Venkman : 105 years old, he hung in there, didn't he?
Ray : He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.
Peter Venkman : Ouch.
Winston : Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?
Egon : No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
Peter Venkman : Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?
Ray : And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back."
Louis Tully : Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
[the courtroom is in bewildered silence]
Egon : Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless.
Peter Venkman : [to Egon] Who told you to stop cutting? Somebody tell you to stop cutting?
First Cop : What are you guys doing here?
Peter Venkman : [to First Cop] You tell him to stop cutting?
First Cop : Yes, I told him to stop cutting. What are you doing?
Peter Venkman : What's it look like we're doing here? Why don't you let us work? We let you work.
Ray : [to Peter] Hey, take it easy.
[to First Cop]
Ray : He's been working overtime. I'll tell you why we're here. We're here because some diaper bag downtown's being a jerk and making us work on a Friday night. Am I right, Peter?
Peter Venkman : Of course you're right, Raymond.
Peter Venkman : Is he right, Ziggy?
Egon : [pause] Yo!
Peter Venkman : [as the Mayor walks in]
[Raising his voice over the rest of the 'Busters]
Peter Venkman : Lenny. Big man.
The Mayor : The Ghostbusters.
Winston : Mr. Mayor?
[Holds out his hand, wanting to shake his hand]
The Mayor : What is this? A slumber party?
Ray : Well, that's why we wanted to see you.
The Mayor : Listen, *I* don't want to hear anything about it. You got 2 minutes. Make it good.
Ray : [Getting started] Well, first of all Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and you'll be happy to know that 50% of us voted for you in the last election.
The Mayor : I appreciate that.
Peter Venkman : I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.
Ray : Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proprtions is building up beneath the city.
The Mayor : Psycho-what?
Egon : Psychomagnatheric.
Peter Venkman : Big word, big word.
Egon : Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with *explosive* supernormal potential.
The Mayor : Can somebody speak english here?
Winston : Uh yeah. Your honor, what we're trying to say is all of the bad feelings. You know hate, anger and the vibes of the city are turning into this *sludge*. I didn't believe in it either. But, we just went for a swim in it and end up almost killing each other.
Hardemeyer : [to the Mayor]
Hardemeyer : This is insane! Do we *really* have to listen to this?
Peter Venkman : [to Hardemeyer] Can't you stop your lips from flapping for 2 little minutes?
[to the Mayor]
Peter Venkman : Lenny, have you been out on the street lately, do you know weird it is out there? We've taken our own headcount, there seems to be 3 *million* completely miserable assholes living in the Tri-State area.
Hardemeyer : [In disbelief] Please?
Peter Venkman : I beg your prdon, 3 million and *one*.
Hardemeyer : Hey.
Ray : And what *fuggy brain* here doesn't realize, that if we don't do something fast this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.
Hardemeyer : [In disbelief] Yeah right.
The Mayor : What do you want me to do, go on television and tell 3 million people they have to be *nice* to each other?
[Begins to walk off]
The Mayor : Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's god-given right. Your 2 minutes are up, good night gentlemen.
[Egon and Ray are showing Peter and Winston their breakthrough with a slime specimen]
Egon : Go ahead, Ray!
Ray : [shouting at the slime] You! You worthless piece of slime! You ignorant disgusting blob!
Egon : You're nothing but an unstable short-chained molecule!
Ray : You foul obnoxious muck!
[bubbles dangerously with every insult]
Egon : You have a weak electrochemical bond!
[starts to bubble over]
Ray : I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!
Peter Venkman : This is what you do with your spare time?
[Ray has stepped in front of the painting of Vigo, blocking the Ghostbusters' attack]
Egon : Ray... we'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please?
Peter Venkman : Ray...
Winston : Ray?
[Ray turns around, he is Ray/Vigo]
Ray : [demonic voice] NO! I, Ray, am Vigo, shall rule the Earth! Begone, you pitiful half-men!
Peter Venkman : Now!
Egon : Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy.
Judge Wexler : Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler,
Judge Wexler : Stand up! Get up!
[the Ghostbusters stand up]
Judge Wexler : You too, Mr. Tully.
[Louis stands up]
Judge Wexler : [furious] I find guilty on all charges. I order to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each...
[the mood slime burbles; Ray notices it]
Judge Wexler : ... and I sentence you to 18 months in the City Correctional Facility at Riker's Island.
Ray : Egie, she's twiching.
Judge Wexler : [yells] I'M NOT FINISHED!
[slime continues to boil]
Judge Wexler : On a more presonal note, let me just go on record as saying that there's no place for fakes, charlatans...
Egon : Uh, your honor?
Judge Wexler : [cuts Egon off] Shut up! Or tricksters like you in desent society!
Peter Venkman : Your honor, this is important.
Judge Wexler : You play on the gullibility of innocent people!
Ray : Yes, sir...
Judge Wexler : Be quiet!
Ray : But...
[poits to the bubbling mood slime as it spills over]
Judge Wexler : [yelling] If my hands weren't tied by the alterable fetters of the law, then I would invoke the tradition of our illustrious forbears, reach back to a purer, sterner justice
[screaming at the top of his lungs]
Judge Wexler : and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE!
[the ghosts of the Scoleri brothers bursts from the slime; the jury members, many vistors and the prosecutor are all frightened]
Ray : [amazed] Wow!
Judge Wexler : [shocked and frightened] Oh, my God! The Scoleri Brothers!
[Wexler leaps from his bench as the ghosts attempt to attack him. He then crawls to Louis and the now-prosecuted Ghostbusters]
Judge Wexler : [yells] The Scoleri Brothers!
Ray : Friends of yours?
Judge Wexler : I've tried them for murder! Gave them the chair!
[piloting the Statue of Liberty]
Egon : We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?
Ray : I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet.
Egon : I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.
Peter Venkman : Hey, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!
[the Ghostbusters have been committed to a mental hospital]
Ray : As I explained before, we think the spirit of a 17th century Moldavian tyrant is alive and well in a painting at the Manhattan Museum of Art.
Psychiatrist : Uh-huh, and are there any other paintings in the museum with bad spirits in them?
Egon : You're wasting valuable time. He's drawing strength from a psychomagnotheric slime flow that's been collecting under the city.
Psychiatrist : Yes, tell me about the slime.
Winston : It's very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it.
[motions to Peter]
Winston : And a bathtub tried to eat his friend's baby.
Psychiatrist : A bathtub?
Peter Venkman : [with his head buried in his arms in despair] Don't look at me. I think these people are completely nuts.
Egon : [talking about the mood slime after yelling at it] We're running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive response.
Peter Venkman : What kind of tests?
Ray : Well, we sing to it, talk to it, and say supportive, nurturing things to it.
Peter Venkman : You're not sleeping with it, are you, Ray?
[Ray doesn't answer, but stares intently at Egon]
Peter Venkman : [noticing Egon, teasingly] You hound.
Winston : It's always the quiet ones.
Egon : [clears throat, and hastily changes the subject] How 'bout the kinetic test?
Egon : My parents didn't believe in toys.
Egon : [Looking at Pictures of Vigo that Peter took earlier] We were right, Ray. Multi-palaner kirilian emanations.
Ray : [getting another picture] Yeah, well here is your next month's cover of GQ, check out the aura on this sucker. Now there is definitely a living presence there.
Egon : We should get a deeper look.
Ray : Why not I run this wider shot through the spectral analyzer?
Egon : Good, I'll try turning up the Roentgens.
[Puts a picture into the spectrogram, now talks about dinner]
Ray : So, what do you think, Chinese?
Egon : Uh, how about Thai?
Ray : Nah, too spicy. Greek?
Egon : Uh, Mexican?
Ray : Pizza?
Egon : Thin or thick?
Ray : Chicago.
Egon : [Takes out a picture of Vigo] What the hell is that?
[picks up his giant maginfying glass]
Ray : I know what it is.
[Unbeknownst to Ray and Egon, the door is suddenly locked]
Ray : I've seen this before.
Egon : Where?
Ray : Remember when you had me dangling like a worm on a hook 100 feet below 1st Avenue?
[Shows the slime on the picture]
Ray : That's the river of slime.
Ray : [after getting off of the phone with Peter] Spangler. A major slime-related psychokinetic event.
Egon : What happened?
Ray : Something came out of Dana's bathtub, tried to grab her and the baby.
Egon : Are they all right?
Ray : Yeah, she got out of there and went over to Venkman's.
Egon : This is interesting, Ray. Remember that Vigo character Peter mentioned? Look what came up
[Goes to his computer and types up Vigo's profile]
Ray : Nice ugly history. Do you think there's a connection to this Vigo character and the...
[Looks at the slime which is still bubbling]
Ray : slime?
Egon : Is the atomic weight of colbalt 58.9?
Judge Wexler : [At the Ghostbusters' trial] Before we begin this trial, I want to make one thing very clear: The law does not recognize the existence of ghosts, and I don't believe in them either. So I don't wanna hear a lot of malarkey about goblins, spooks, and demons. We're gonna stick to the facts in this case. Leave the ghost stories to the kiddies, understood?
Winston : Wow. Sounds like a pretty open-minded guy, huh?
Egon : Yeah, they call him "The Hammer."
Ray : What can we do? It's all in the hands of our lawyer now.
Louis Tully : I think you guys are making a big mistake. I do mostly tax law and some probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school.
Ray : Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night.
Peter Venkman : [the Ghostbusters enters the museum's restoration room] All right, suck in the guts, guys. We're the Ghostbusters.
[they breathe in]
Janosz : [approaches the four; claps] No! No, please go! You...
Ray : Who's this wiggler?
Ray : He's yours, Ray. Sic him.
Peter Venkman : [to Peter] I have discuss things with you. Now I...
Ray : Hi, how are you? Ray Stantz from the Ghostbusters. Nice to see you. Beautiful lab you have here.
Janosz : Can I tell what I told your friend?
Ray : We're just doing a routine spook check.
Janosz : Eh, Dr. Venkman, Dana is not here.
Peter Venkman : Yeah, we know that, Johnny.
Janosz : So why are you came?
Peter Venkman : Well, we got a report there was a major creep in the area. We checked our list and you were right there at the top. Johnny, where the hell are you from anyway?
Janosz : The Upper West Side.
Egon : The whole room's extremely hot, Peter.
Janosz : Hot?
Winston : [notices the painting of Vigo] Ooh, that's one ugly dude.
Peter Venkman : Oh, that's Vigo. Mr. Vigo?
Janosz : Uh...
Peter Venkman : [starts to take pictures of Vigo] Vigs, would you look this way, please?
Janosz : Please. No, don't. No, no!
Peter Venkman : Come on, show me something.
Janosz : No! No photographs, please! Slides are available in the Gift Shop, eh?
[Winston pulls Janosz out of the way; Janosz yells]
Peter Venkman : Yeah, thanks. Thank you, Winston.
Ray : Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proportions is building up beneath the city.
The Mayor : Psycho what?
Egon : Psychomagnetheric. Negative human emotions are materializing in the form of a viscous psychoractive plasm with explosive supernormal potential.
The Mayor : Does anybody speak English, here?
[after failing to break through the ectoplasm surrounding the Museum]
Egon : That slime mold is pulsing with evil. It would take a tremendous amount of positive energy to crack that shell and I seriously doubt there's enough goodwill left in this town to do it.
Ray : You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back. I mean, sure, it's dirty, it's crowded, it's polluted, it's noisy and there's people all around who'd just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on! There's got to be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out 'burg and we just have to figure out a way to mobilize it.
Egon : He's right. We need something that everyone in this town can get behind, we need... a symbol!
Ray : Something that appeals to the best in each and every one of us.
Egon : Something good.
Winston : Something decent.
Peter Venkman : Something pure.
[They are all looking at the image of the Statue of Liberty on the Ecto-1's license plate]