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Where the Hell's That Gold?!!? (1988)

In 1895, outlaws Cross and Boone are forced to take Mexican authorities to their loot. They travel there on a train full of dynamite with a group of prostitutes. Mexican rebels, Indians, and Wells Fargo Agents are all after them.

Director:

Burt Kennedy

Writer:

Burt Kennedy
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Cast

Complete credited cast:
Willie Nelson ... Cross
Delta Burke ... Germany
Jack Elam ... Boone
Alfonso Arau ... Indio
Gregory Sierra ... General
Michael Wren Michael Wren ... Lieutenant
Gerald McRaney ... Jones
Jaime Lyn Bauer ... Brandy
Annabelle Gurwitch ... Jesse
J.D. Garfield J.D. Garfield ... Young Fargo Man (as John David Garfield)
Sheila Foster Sheila Foster ... Lilly
Deborah Carpenter Deborah Carpenter ... Pearl
Pamela Moore Pamela Moore ... Durango
Adan Sanchez Adan Sanchez ... Firing Squad Officer
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Storyline

During the 1895 Mexican uprising against Mexican President Diaz, former American outlaws Cross and Boone venture south-of-the-border to retrieve a gold loot from an old heist. Cross also claims he took a discrete assignment from Revolutionaries who want Cross to sabotage the Mexican government train he's riding with Boone. They use dynamite to blow-up the tracks but they get captured by the Mexican Army. In order to avoid execution by firing squad, Cross and Boone accept the Mexican General Garcia's offer to work for him. Their mission, against the odds as the General specifies, is to take a train full of dynamite from Chihuahua to an army outpost in Durango. Their journey will take them through rebel territory, Indian territory and badlands roamed by Mexican bandits. Without much other choice Cross and Boone accept the deal. They don't yet know that a posse of Wells Fargo deputies are after them and hell bent on retrieving the stolen gold. Written by nufs68

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

The rebels are after Willie, he's after the gold, she's after him.

Genres:

Western

Certificate:

PG
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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

13 November 1988 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Dynamite and Gold See more »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Mono

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Quotes

Lieutenant: What does it mean?
Cross: Apache.
Boone: Is that all?
Cross: That's enough! Let's get out of here!
See more »

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User Reviews

 
Sub-Standard Effort From Burt Kennedy.
20 August 2006 | by rsoonsaSee all my reviews

Although a few of the particularities that distinguish successful director Burt Kennedy's slow paced Westerns are to be found here in this film made for television, they yet are beneath a standard he has established in his most successful works, with a result that the piece is barely tolerable, generating very little of interest that might keep a viewer's attention focused upon the narrative. One will be expected to believe that a plot depicting two American adventurers journeying through the heart of civil strife torn 1895 Mexico in a train bearing a large load of dynamite, all the while attempting to evade unfriendly actions of Federale troops, anti-Porfirio Diaz rebels, hostile Apache Indians, and persistent Wells Fargo agents, might promise a great deal of action and suspense, but such fail to develop due to a weakly constructed script. The American pair, Cross (Willie Nelson) and Boone (Jack Elam), are on the lam from the U.S., having stolen a substantial supply of gold that Cross has secreted, and after they are captured by Mexican police, they are saved from death before a firing squad because of a promise they make to lead their captors to their cache of loot. On the way to the treasure, the entourage adds on a stranded rail car outfitted to house five prostitutes, and their procuress, played by Delta Burke, the women soon becoming an added but welcome burden to the bandit team during the essentially schematic episodes that follow. Direction from Kennedy, who as well produces and scripts here, is flabby throughout and the poorly composed screenplay, that includes a surfeit of anachronisms, misses on all cylinders, while Nelson is wooden and attacks his lines, thereby preventing character development. Elam receives the greatest amount of screen time, as a crusty old bandit. Burke's madam, in addition to her charges, are always perfectly coiffed, made up, and dressed, and it is a secure presumption that the Old West never saw such bewitching scarlet women, that additionally possess a remarkable talent for remaining clean and well-groomed, an ability shared, albeit to a lesser extent, by low-grade thieves Cross and Boone. The film apparently is meant to provide comic elements, but there is precious little comedic about the affair, with an unintended exception of a curiously superfluous number of scenes featuring rolling stock, quite as if the film's production team is attempting to establish a milestone figure for the greatest amount of footage involving moving trains, primarily shot in scenic regions of New Mexico and Colorado, to an extent that is more risible than pertinent to the storyline, especially when segments are edited as repeats. Acting laurels are shared here by Gerald McRaney as leader of the pursuing Wells Fargo riders, and Alfonso Arau as boss of the anti-government fighters, each actor managing to utilize fine technique in spite of being given sub-standard dialogue.


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