Beetlejuice (1988) Poster


Geena Davis: Barbara



  • Adam : You can see us without the sheets?

    Lydia : Of course I can see you.

    Adam : Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?

    Lydia : Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual". I myself am strange and unusual.

    Barbara : You look like a regular girl to me.

  • Juno : What's wrong?

    Barbara : We're very unhappy.

    Juno : What did you expect? You're dead!

  • Barbara : [after Jane did not hear Adam call her]  She didn't see you, right?

    Adam : Unh-uh.

    Barbara : [reading the handbook]  In the book: "Rule Number Two: the living usually won't see the dead".

    Adam : 'Won't' or 'can't'?

    Barbara : It just says 'won't'. God, this book is so stupid. I can't understand anything in it.

    [Adam takes the book and closes it] 

    Adam : Barb, honey... we're dead. I don't think we have very much to worry about anymore.

  • [in the waiting room of the afterlife] 

    Barbara : Adam, is this what happens when you die?

    Receptionist : This is what happens when *you* die.

    [points at a gaunt man smoking] 

    Receptionist : That is what happens when *he* dies.

    [points at a woman cut in half on the sofa reading] 

    Receptionist : And that is what happens when *they* die. It's all very personal. And I'll tell you something: if I knew then what I know now...

    [shows her slit wrists] 

    Receptionist : ...I wouldn't have had my little accident.

    [the dead people laugh] 

  • Beetlejuice : I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action...

    [a brothel appears] 

    Beetlejuice : [dances with joy]  Hey, Adam, nice move!

    Barbara : Adam, why did you build that?

    Adam : I didn't!

    [Adam and Barbara appear at Juno's office] 

    Juno : The whorehouse was my idea! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!

  • Adam : Cabin fever, hon?

    Barbara : Well, I can't clean anything properly. The vacuum's out in the garage and we can't leave the house. Why don't they tell us something? I mean, where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?

    Adam : Maybe this is heaven.

    Barbara : In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.

  • Messenger : How do I look? There are no mirrors on this side.

    Adam : Fine, you look fine.

    Messenger : Yeah?

    Barbara : Fine.

    Messenger : Thanks, I've been feeling a little flat.

    [he laughs and goes through the crevice in the filing room] 

  • [repeated line] 

    Barbara : Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse.

  • Lydia : Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?

    Adam : We're ghosts!

    Lydia : What do you look like under there?

    Adam : Aren't you scared?

    Lydia : I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you "Night of the Living Dead" under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?

    Adam : Night of the what?

    Lydia : Living Dead. It's a movie.

    Barbara : You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.

  • Beetlejuice : I gotta card around here, somewhere. Here, here. Who do I have to kill? Here hold that for me, would ya?

    [hands Barbara a rat] 

    Barbara : Whoa! AHH!

    Beetlejuice : There. There ya go.

    Adam : You don't have to kill anybody!

    Beetlejuice : Ah, possession! Good.

    Barbara : [In Betelgeuse's voice]  Learn to throw your voice! Fool your friends! Fun at parties!

  • Delia : Charles, I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to relax.

    Charles : Ha.

    Delia : I'm here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, and I will take you with me!

    Charles : [after a long pause]  Yeah, well, you know, maybe the house could use a little remodeling. Uh... But, why don't you just leave this room alone, okay?

    Delia : [smiles]  Okay.

    [Delia and Otho leave as Charles goes furious] 

    Barbara : [furiously]  I'm gonna get her.

  • Barbara : [after the Deetzes moved in]  Is this a punishment or something? What are we gonna do?

    Adam : We're not completely helpless, Barbara. I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation: ghosts.

  • Adam : [reading]  'Handbook of the Recently Diseased'.

    Barbara : ...*deceased*.

    Adam : Deceased?

    Barbara : I don't know where it came from. Look at the publisher.

    Adam : [does so]  'Handbook for the Recently Deceased Press'.

    Barbara : You know what? I don't think we survived the crash!

  • [Adam and Barbara see a dark room with decomposed souls] 

    Barbara : Oh, Adam... What is this?

    Janitor : That's the lost souls room; a room for ghosts that have been exorcised. The poor devils. That's death for the dead. It's all in the handbook.

    [he closes the shade of the room] 

    Janitor : Keep moving.

  • Barbara : [to Adam]  What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away?

  • Barbara : What about that guy in the flyer, you know Betel...

    Juno : Shhh! Don't even say his name! You don't want his help!

    Adam : We might.

    Juno : No, you don't! He does not work well with others.

    Barbara : What do you mean?

    Juno : I didn't want to bring it up, but rather than have you stumble on to it and make another mistake, I'll tell you. He was my assistant, but he was a troublemaker. Went out on his own as a freelance bio-exorcist. Claimed he could get rid of the living. Got into more trouble. In fact, I believe he's been sleazing around your cemetery lately. The only way he can be brought back is by calling his name three times. But I strongly suggest you get the Deetzes out by yourselves.

  • Barbara : Lydia's trying, but they don't believe her.

    Adam : She's got photos, Barbara.

    Barbara : Adam, you had a photo of Big Foot!

  • Barbara : What's wrong?

    Lydia : Beetle...

    Barbara : Shhh!

    Lydia : HE told me that if I could let him out, he would take me to the other side to find you.

    Barbara : Lydia, we're dead.

    Lydia : Well, I want to be dead too.

    Barbara : No! Lydia, being dead really doesn't make things any easier.

    Adam : Listen to her on this, Lydia, this is something we know a lot about!

  • Adam : How is it that you can see us but nobody else can?

    Lydia : Well, I read in that "Handbook For The Recently Deceased". It says, "Live people ignore the strange and unusual." I, myself, am strange and unusual.

    Barbara : You look like a regular girl to me.

  • Juno : Okay, have you been studying the manual?

    Adam : Well, we tried.

    Juno : The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all: get them out yourselves, it's your house. Haunted houses aren't easy to come by.

    Barbara : Well, we don't quite get it.

    Juno : I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you!

    Adam : We should start more simply then?

    Juno : Start simply, do what you know, use your talents, practice! You should have been studying those lessons since day one.

  • [Adam and Barbara make it back home as the sandworm is about to eat them] 

    Barbara : [crying, hugs Adam]  Oh, Adam! We're trapped in this house with those people!

  • [Adam and Barbara struggle to understand the "Handbook for the Recently Deceased"] 

    Barbara : I hate this. Just can you give me the basics?

    Adam : Well, this book isn't arranged that way. What do you wanna know?

    Barbara : Well, why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? Are we halfway to heaven? Are we halfway to hell? And... how long is this gonna last?

    Adam : I don't see anything about heaven OR hell. This book reads like stereo instructions. Listen to this: "Geographical and temporal perimeters. Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation.

    [Snaps book shut] 

    Adam : Oh, this is gonna take some time, honey.

  • Barbara : [to Adam]  Maybe we should try that Beetle guy.

  • Adam : It's the first day of our vacation, and you haven't been out of the kitchen since five a.m.

    Barbara : [proudly]  I always make the flag cake.

    Adam : Fifty stars, thirteen stripes. Did you get it right this year?

  • Barbara : I'll go see who that is. You start counting.

    [she goes out of the kitchen into the dining room] 

    Adam : [starts counting the stars by naming off the states]  Maine. New Hampshire. Vermont. Massachusetts. Connecticut.

See also

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