4.8/10
127
5 user 1 critic

Hard Knox (1984)

A retired fighter pilot becomes the head of his alma matter military high school for two weeks with hilarious consequences. He shapes up the school and raises morale so that they are able ... See full summary »

Director:

Peter Werner

Writers:

Robert Conrad (story), David J. Kinghorn (story, teleplay)
Reviews
1 nomination. See more awards »

Photos

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Robert Conrad ... Col. Joe Knox
Red West ... Thomas 'Top' Tuttle
Joan Sweeny ... Marilyn Cole
Bill Erwin ... Gen. Garfield
Dean Hill ... Maj. Benjamin Garfield
Dianne B. Shaw Dianne B. Shaw ... Lela Stallings
Stephen Caffrey ... Gary Pascoe
Shane Conrad ... Eric Shaner
Frank Howard ... David Ambrose
Ricky Paull Goldin ... Jeff Bridley
Alan Ruck ... Frankie Tyrone
David Saunders David Saunders ... Bobby Sayers
Casey Siemaszko ... Aaron Davis
Kathleen Sisk Kathleen Sisk ... Jessi Richards
Alex Stirling Alex Stirling ... Kimi
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Storyline

A retired fighter pilot becomes the head of his alma matter military high school for two weeks with hilarious consequences. He shapes up the school and raises morale so that they are able to win the "brass-axe" competition versus another local military academy. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Comedy | Drama

Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

13 January 1984 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Coronel Knox See more »

Filming Locations:

Mt. Carroll, Illinois, USA See more »

Company Credits

Production Co:

A. Shane Company See more »
Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Sound Mix:

Mono

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The movie was shot at Shimer College in Mount Carroll, Illinois. That campus is now the home of the Campbell Center for Historical Preservation that educates museum curators from around the world. See more »

Goofs

When he is in his screen mom's car, actor Shane Conrad's hair is parted on his left and the left side of his shirt buttons over the right side (at around 4 mins), but as he is watches her drive off (from 15:10 to 15:25), the frames are flipped with his hair parted on his right and the right side of his shirt buttoned over the left side. Later, both the part in his hair and the buttoning of his shirt switch back (at around 39 mins). See more »

Quotes

Jessi Richards: You yell louder and more often than any person...
Thomas 'Top' Tuttle: I do not yell! I simply communicate in a tone of voice that ensures I will not be misquoted, misunderstood, or ignored!
Jessi Richards: That's what I said. You yell a lot.
Thomas 'Top' Tuttle: You listen up, new cadet, Congress might have put you here but that don't give you the license to give me lectures on the evils of nicotine or...
Jessi Richards: Congress didn't put me here... My grandmother did.
Thomas 'Top' Tuttle: I'll tell you one thing, I do no like kids that talk like adults... they make me nervous! So you...
See more »

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User Reviews

 
A retired Air Force colonel who takes himself way too seriously becomes dean of a co-ed military academy, followed by 90 straight minutes of every possible movie cliché.
13 May 2005 | by bsmithiiiSee all my reviews

"Hard Knox" is quite possibly the worst movie ever made, and I mean that as a serious compliment. Too many bad movies have some kind of redeeming quality to them -- an occasional funny line, a genuine moment of drama or romance or horror -- which makes them wholly unremarkable movies.

Fortunately, Hard Knox has none of those. The entire dialog and plot consists of one bad cliché after another. If these two-dimensional characters were any flatter, they'd be invisible. About 95% of the movie takes place in one setting -- the military academy -- so sadly, there's no bonus points for exceptionally bad special effects, but the dialog is so divorced from anything that would ever be uttered in reality, it easily makes up for it.

If you're the kind of viewer who enjoys really bad movies, I'd highly recommend dragging out the bong and throwing this bad boy on. But if you have a low tolerance of absolute sh*t, well, you'll probably never stumble across this movie anyways.


5 of 8 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you? | Report this
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