Ned Beatty: Otis
[Lex stands on his library sliding ladder searching for a book]
Lex Luthor : n... n... n...
Otis : 'M'! You want 'M' Mr. Luthor?
[Otis moves the sliding ladder Lex is standing on, leaving Lex hanging from a shelf]
Otis : So, there you go, 'M'.
Lex Luthor : 'M' as in moron Otis? No, no, no, it's 'N'! 'N' as in neanderthal, nincompoop, nitwit and 'L' as in ladder!
[Otis tells Lex how he's inputted the coordinates on the missile]
Lex Luthor : Otis! The third one was to be 11, and the fourth one, seven!
Otis : Oh. Oh, gee. Aw, gee. Gee, Mr. Luthor. Oh, I see. I guess my arm wasn't long enough, see?
Lex Luthor : Otis, would you like to see a long arm? Otis, would you like to see a very, very long arm?
Otis : Oh, no, Mr. Luthor.
Lex Luthor : Miss Teschmacher, when I was six years old my father said to me...
Miss Teschmacher : "Get out!"
Lex Luthor : [laughing] Before that. He said, "Son, stocks may rise and fall, utilities and transportation systems may collapse. People are no damn good, but they will always need land and they will pay through the nose to get it! Remember," my father said...
Otis : "... land."
Lex Luthor : Right. It's a pity he couldn't see from such humble beginnings how I've created this empire.
Miss Teschmacher : An empire? This?
Lex Luthor : Miss Teschmacher, how many girls do you know who have a Park Avenue address like this one?
Miss Teschmacher : [sarcastically] A Park Avenue address? Two hundred feet below?
Lex Luthor : Do you realize what people are shelling out up there, for a few miserable rooms off a common elevator?
[pointing to a map of California and the San Andreas Fault]
Lex Luthor : Everything west of this line is the richest, most expensive real estate in the world: San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco. Everything on THIS side of the line is just hundreds and hundreds of miles of worthless desert land, which just so happens to be owned by...
[Whacks Otis with his pointer]
Otis : Uh... Lex Luthor Incorporated.
Lex Luthor : Now, call me foolish, call me irresponsible, but it occurs to me that a 500 megaton bomb planted at just the proper point would...
Superman : Would destroy most of California. Millions of innocent people would be killed. The west coast as we know it would...
Lex Luthor : Fall into the sea.
Lex Luthor : [Gives a little wave with his hand] Bye-bye, California. Hello, new west coast. *My* west coast.
[Otis overlays map with new map]
Lex Luthor : Costa Del Lex. Luthorville. Marina Del Lex. Otisburg... Otisburg?
Otis : Miss Teschmacher... she's got her own place.
[indicates "Teschmacher Peaks"]
Lex Luthor : *Otisburg*?
Otis : It's a little bitty place.
Lex Luthor : [Angry] *OTISBURG*?
Otis : Okay, I'll just wipe it off.
Lex Luthor : [swimming in the pool, listening to news broadcasts about Superman] Miss Teschmacher! Turn it off.
Miss Teschmacher : [lying by the sunlamps] Lex, what's the story on this guy? Do you think it's the genuine article?
Lex Luthor : If he is, he's not from this world.
Miss Teschmacher : Why?
Lex Luthor : Because, if any human being were going to perpetrate such a fantastic hoax, it would have been me! Otis! My robe!
Otis : Right away, Mr. Luthor!
Lex Luthor : It all fits somehow, his coming here to Metropolis. And at this particular time. There's a kind of cruel justice about it. I mean, to commit the crime of the century, a man would naturally want to face the challenge of the century.
Otis : Listen, Mr. Luthor, maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?
Lex Luthor : [Lex gets out of the pool, and stops at the top step. Otis starts helping Lex on with the robe as the bottom of it proceeds to get soaked] Passing through? Not on your life Otis. Which I would gladly sacrifice, by the way, for the opportunity of destroying everything that he represents. And, Otis, by the way, next time put my robe on *after* I'm out of the pool.
Miss Teschmacher : Tell me something, Lex, why do so many people have to die for the crime of the century?
Lex Luthor : Why? You ask why? Why does the phone always ring when you're in the bathtub?
Lex Luthor : *Why* is the most diabolical leader of our time surrounding himself with total nincompoops?
Otis : I'm back, Mr. Luthor!
Lex Luthor : Yes, I was just talking about you.
[the warden of a prison is sitting in his office when he hears the alarms sound & the guard dogs barking. He steps onto his balcony to see Superman flying into the prison yard, holding Luthor & Otis by the scruff of their jackets]
Lex Luthor : You're messing up my suit, you lummox, you!
Lex Luthor : [to Superman] Watch the ground!
[They land with a start. Luthor & Otis are immediately cornered by the guards]
Superman : Good evening, Warden. I think these 2 men should be safe here with you now till they can get a fair trial.
Warden : Who is it, Superman?
Lex Luthor : [Lex rips off his wig to reveal his bald head] Lex Luthor! The greatest criminal mind of our time!
Otis : [repeating what Lex says] ... Of our time!
Lex Luthor : I hereby serve notice...
Otis : He's serving notice to you...
Lex Luthor : That these walls...
Otis : That these walls here...
Lex Luthor : Will you shut up, please!
Superman : [to the guards] All right, take them away, boys!
[the guards take Luthor & Otis to a cell]
Lex Luthor : [shouting at Otis as the guards lead them away] Neanderthal! Nitwit! Nincompoop!
Miss Teschmacher : [looking at Lex's newspaper] A meteorite found in Addis Ababa. Uh, I know I'm gonna get rapped in the mouth for this, but... So what?
Lex Luthor : So what. You mean, to us, they're just meteorites. Fair enough. But the level of *specific* radioactivity is so high, to anyone from the planet Krypton, this substance is *lethal*!
Otis : Wait a minute, Mr. Luthor. You mean, fire and bullets can't hurt this guy, but this stuff here...
Lex Luthor : Doesn't it give you, like, a shudder of electricity... to be in the same room with me?
Miss Teschmacher : [laughs] Not like the shudder *you're* gonna get when you try to lay that rock on him. He can see you coming for miles with those super-peepers of his.
Lex Luthor : [obviously, he's already thought of this] "Oh, Lord... You gave them eyes, yet they cannot see." Nor can Superman, through lead.
Miss Teschmacher : [understanding] He... can't... see... through... lead!
Lex Luthor : And Kryptonite will destroy him. Any questions, class?