Female Trouble (1974)
Edith Massey: Aunt Ida
Aunt Ida : [to Gater] I worry that you'll work in an office, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.
Aunt Ida : Oh, Ernie! Have another pretzel for Chrissakes! Wait 'til you meet my little Gater. You two are gonna fall right in love.
Ernie : My dear, I hope so. Are you sure he's gay?
Aunt Ida : Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Earnie? Are you sure you won't have another pretzel?
Ernie : I'm sure, Miss Thing, I'm sure. Pretzels give you plaque.
Aunt Ida : And remember my offer still stands. If you get tired of being a Hare Krishna, you come live with me and be a lesbian!
Gator : I'm straight, I mean I like a lot of queers but I don't dig their equipment, you know. I like women.
Aunt Ida : But you could change. Queers are just better. I'd be so proud if you was a fag and had a nice beautician boyfriend. I'd never have to worry.
Gator : You have nothing to worry about.
Aunt Ida : Aahhh! Ahhhh! Dawn, ya son of a bitch! You're the one who did it! YOU! You drove Gater away!
[as Ida enters the room]
Donald Dasher : Oh my God!
Donna Dasher : Incredible!
Dawn Davenport : Ida Nelson, you get out of my house!
[hurling acid into Dawn's face]
Aunt Ida : You made Gater leave! I got somethin for your face, motherfucker!
Gator : Hello, Aunt Ida.
Aunt Ida : Gater, what a coincidence! There's somebody here dying to meet you! Ernie, this is Gater; Gater, this is Ernie!
Ernie : Hi, stud!
Gator : Get him outta here!
Aunt Ida : Gater Nelson, you be polite to Ernie! He wants a date with you!
Gator : Well, I don't want a date with him. I came to say goodbye, Aunt Ida. I'm moving to Detroit.
Aunt Ida : WHAT?
Gator : I want to be near the auto in-duss-try. I'm sick of hairdressing, and besides, Dawn had me fired.
Ernie : I can get you a job at the baths, Mary!
Gator : Look, fucker, take a walk!
Ernie : Well!
Gator : Look, you better beat it before I punch your fuckin' face out that window.
Ernie : No gay knocks for me, Ida! At best, all you've got here is trade.
Aunt Ida : Oh, Gater! Ernie's your type! Move back in with me, and we'll get you a job as a female impersonator!
Ernie : His hands are too big, dahling. Bye, Gater. It was... fab meeting you!
Gator : Fuck you! You're worse than my wife!
Aunt Ida : Fucker! Pig fucker! Hetero! Filthy hetero stink-shit!