Female Trouble (1974) Poster

Edith Massey: Aunt Ida



  • Aunt Ida : [to Gater]  I worry that you'll work in an office, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.

  • Aunt Ida : Oh, Ernie! Have another pretzel for Chrissakes! Wait 'til you meet my little Gater. You two are gonna fall right in love.

    Ernie : My dear, I hope so. Are you sure he's gay?

    Aunt Ida : Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Earnie? Are you sure you won't have another pretzel?

    Ernie : I'm sure, Miss Thing, I'm sure. Pretzels give you plaque.

  • Aunt Ida : And remember my offer still stands. If you get tired of being a Hare Krishna, you come live with me and be a lesbian!

  • Gator : I'm straight, I mean I like a lot of queers but I don't dig their equipment, you know. I like women.

    Aunt Ida : But you could change. Queers are just better. I'd be so proud if you was a fag and had a nice beautician boyfriend. I'd never have to worry.

    Gator : You have nothing to worry about.

  • Aunt Ida : Aahhh! Ahhhh! Dawn, ya son of a bitch! You're the one who did it! YOU! You drove Gater away!

    [as Ida enters the room] 

    Donald Dasher : Oh my God!

    Donna Dasher : Incredible!

    Dawn Davenport : Ida Nelson, you get out of my house!

    [hurling acid into Dawn's face] 

    Aunt Ida : You made Gater leave! I got somethin for your face, motherfucker!

  • Gator : Hello, Aunt Ida.

    Aunt Ida : Gater, what a coincidence! There's somebody here dying to meet you! Ernie, this is Gater; Gater, this is Ernie!

    Ernie : Hi, stud!

    Gator : Get him outta here!

    Aunt Ida : Gater Nelson, you be polite to Ernie! He wants a date with you!

    Gator : Well, I don't want a date with him. I came to say goodbye, Aunt Ida. I'm moving to Detroit.

    Aunt Ida : WHAT?

    Gator : I want to be near the auto in-duss-try. I'm sick of hairdressing, and besides, Dawn had me fired.

    Ernie : I can get you a job at the baths, Mary!

    Gator : Look, fucker, take a walk!

    Ernie : Well!

    Gator : Look, you better beat it before I punch your fuckin' face out that window.

    Ernie : No gay knocks for me, Ida! At best, all you've got here is trade.

    Aunt Ida : Oh, Gater! Ernie's your type! Move back in with me, and we'll get you a job as a female impersonator!

    Ernie : His hands are too big, dahling. Bye, Gater. It was... fab meeting you!

    Gator : Fuck you! You're worse than my wife!

  • Aunt Ida : Fucker! Pig fucker! Hetero! Filthy hetero stink-shit!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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